The Consequences Of Ignoring Her Red Flags & Disloyal Behavior

How to avoid the consequences of making excuses for her red flags and disloyal behavior.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who shares an email to help other guys avoid his mistakes with his disloyal ex-girlfriend. Even though he admits he was an unattractive beta male during their relationship, it doesn’t excuse her questionable disloyal behavior. She had plenty of guy friends, constantly invited attention from other men and never set any boundaries with guys who expressed romantic interest in her. She gave them all the green light to pursue her and eventually she dumped him to be with a guy she told him not to worry about. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, “The Consequences Of Ignoring Her Red Flags & Disloyal Behavior.”

Well this particular email is from a guy who knows that his situation was messed up, and despite the fact he admits that he acted like a beta male. What you see is, because I talked about this a lot. If you’re in a relationship with a woman who’s got high character and she loses attraction for you, she’s going to end the relationship, get back on her own, take some time to be alone and to heal. Reconnect with friends, family. And then when she’s ready, she’ll start dating again.

Whereas when you’re dealing with low character women, if they’re not happy or their needs aren’t being met, loyalty doesn’t mean anything to them. They will happily give out their number, invite attention from other men. Give that guy at work that she told you not to worry about the opportunity to seduce her, and on and on. And so, this guy knows his situation is not salvageable, but he wanted to send it in to share it with all you guys so he can save somebody else who’s in a similar situation, or is involved with somebody like this.

Because he also saw the red flags in the beginning, but he was hypnotized by her beauty. And so, this is a good email to learn and to help you spot the behavior. So if you’re dating somebody like this, you’re not going to be delusional enough and make the mistake of getting into a relationship and then being shocked when they cheat on you, and they do all kinds of disloyal things.

Because a big part of being a self-reliant human being is you got to vet everybody in your life, not just your romantic partners, but your friends, your business partners, your customers and your employees. And you got to look at a person’s character, and you’re not going to fix that if they got character flaws, it’s not your job. But it is your job to identify the bad people and get them out of your life as quickly as possible.

Viewer’s Email:

Hi Coach Corey Wayne,

I hope you are doing well! I recently found your work a few days ago and I plan to read your book as soon as I finish writing this email. I want my story to be a lesson for other guys who are currently in a similar situation as I was, and yes, there will be a lot of “Come On Man” moments. 

My name is Bob.

Man, there are a lot of Bobs in the world, isn’t there?

I am 25 years old, and I am from the West Asian nation of Cyprus. My ex-girlfriend, who was my first of four years, who is also 25, broke up with me after she caught feelings for one of her “guy friends” that she met 4 months before breaking up with me.

So she was advertising. This is a classic case of monkey branching, but this is how low character people operate. They do shit in the background behind your back, and then they knife you when you least expect it. Et Tu, Brute?

Obviously, this was really hard on me but when I look back, there were multiple red flags that I ignored, and I take full responsibility for not acting on these red flags. 

That’s the important thing. He saw them, but he’s like, “ah, it’ll be fine.” Because when your emotions are engaged, you’ll see those red flags oftentimes you’re like, “ah, it’ll be all right. It’s just one. No big deal.” And then they pile up and they pile up, and then you end up like this guy did. Because if you’re dating or you’re in a relationship or you’re living with somebody, I mean, he was with her for several years, and there’s just constant attention from other men that she’s giving them the green light. And then when he challenges her on it, she’s like, “What? Oh, me? Oh, I’m innocent. I’m a victim here.” Typical narcissistic behavior. They don’t take any accountability. It’s never their fault. They’re always the victim.

To begin, I met my ex through a mutual friend, and we began to talk on and off for a month as I was busy with school. My first error was that I asked her on a date as she broke up with her previous toxic boyfriend 3 months before I met her.

So she had a really bad relationship from a guy that was abusive or toxic, whatever you want to call it. That also shows that she has a poor judge of character. And like attracts like. That’s why you see so often, when you date somebody that’s involved, or has been involved with people that cheat, it turns out that they also tend to cheat. Again, like attracts like. So if somebody has continually been cheated on by every guy they’ve dated.

Probably because they have character issues, because you don’t attract 100% of boyfriends and they all cheat on you if it’s not something that you’re doing to allow that behavior into your life. In other words, somehow, whether it’s consciously or unconsciously, you’re enabling and encouraging disloyal behavior. It’s just part of a person’s makeup and character. Whatever you tolerate, you’re going to invite more of in your life.

However, I continued to date her despite the fact that the two were in constant communication every day, with him wanting to get back together with her despite knowing that she was with me.

So she’s not over her ex. It’s just like a woman who’s in the middle of a divorce. This is why it’s not a good idea to get involved with people that are like this. Or in this case, you definitely don’t want to become exclusive with a girl who still talking to the ex-boyfriend, especially the one who’s supposedly toxic. And she probably said all kinds of things, bad things about him; what a horrible person he was. But yet she talks to him every day.

So if she talks to him every day. She’s given him the green light to continue trying to get back together with her. And so, when you look at it from her actions perspective, it certainly doesn’t look like she’s trying to convince you to be your boyfriend. She doesn’t seem to be showing any kind of behavior, that she’s a loyal person. Because a woman who’s worried about losing you, is not going to be, “Oh yeah, I talked to my ex today. Oh, yeah, he’s hitting on me.”

“Why don’t you just block the guy or tell him that you’re seeing somebody else?” “Oh, that’s probably a good idea, but we just have so much history together.” When she has excuses, she’s encouraging the disloyal person to be in her life. And in this case, she’s dating somebody new. And yet she’s given the green light to the ex and probably other dudes, which, you know, you’ll see later in the email.

This went on for months until I told her to block him completely (which she did to my knowledge). Months later, she confessed to me that she and him had a role-playing sexual text exchange before I told her to block him, and me being an idiot, I forgave her.

So in other words, she said she was going to do something. And she didn’t. And especially this is the ex. And yet they’re talking about sex and role playing. It’s sexual fantasy. Meanwhile you’re the one that’s dating and sleeping with her. That’s not something a good, family oriented, loyal woman is going to do. This is the type of girl, friends with benefits, sex playmate, fuck buddy. You don’t get serious with a girl like this. I mean, this should be common sense. But as we’ve all seen, common sense is not so common.

Throughout the entire relationship, she would make it hard for me to seduce her.

Because her attraction was low, obviously.

And during the beginning of the relationship, she was not that excited in spending time with me. And yes, me being a beta bitch, I over pursued which was a mistake on my part.

Well, obviously it was before he came across my work. So, there’s not much you can do about it. He’s coming here after the fact, like a lot of guys do, and they’re like, “What the hell just happened over the last few years?”

Fast forward a year and half later, she began sending memes to one of her male work colleagues frequently, even when me and her were hanging together. Me being a bitch, I did not establish healthy boundaries directly, which would later bite me in the ass.

Well, I don’t really think it would have mattered with this particular girl. Because this is just who she is.

While I did address my suspicions and discomfort with the situation, she reassured me that there were no romantic feelings and that he did not hit on her. I know, another “Come On Man” moment. 

Last year three years into our relationship, she graduated from college, and she decided to go to school in the UK for a year to acquire more qualifications for her career and because she likes to travel. Another “Come On Man” moment.

Yeah, she’s always going to Dubai. And doing expensive things. She’s basically a hooker.

Before she left, we even exchanged promise rings. As you can tell, she did not fulfill her promise.

I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell you. Character is destiny.

During the first 4 months of our long distance relationship, she made many friends which included the guy that she left me for.

Again, a lady, a woman who’s concerned about loyalty and family and how things look is not going to be hanging out with other dudes one on one that are not her boyfriend or a male relative. And she’s certainly not going to be going out for drinks or lunch or dinners. That’s what disloyal women do. That’s when you know that you’re dating a woman; she belongs to the streets.

I was immediately suspicious of this guy as she would bring him up in our conversations when we FaceTimed.

Yeah, so from her perspective, that’s her way of basically saying, “Hey, I didn’t lie, I didn’t hide anything.” But she doesn’t fill in all the details. She mentions the other guy. But the only way most guys figure out what’s going on is if they put two and two together, which most guys don’t. And so, it’s like dealing with the IRS or our government agent. You only tell them just the facts, what they need to know.

And so, she’s only telling you; she’s telling you enough to absolve her conscience. From feeling bad about what she’s doing. And so, in her mind, “hey, it was full disclosure.” It’s not her fault that you didn’t figure out she was lining up your replacement. And then when she hooks up with him, she can go, “oh, it just kind of happened. I couldn’t say no. Sorry.”

This “guy friend” was well aware that she was already in a committed relationship with me.

Yeah, dude. Most dudes probably don’t really give a shit. They think, “oh, I found the one. I’m gonna make her mine. She’s with that big meanie guy, and I’m gonna prove what a better dude I am.” Smart men know that. “Oh, she’s just a, you know, sex playmate, fuck buddy, friends with benefits. No big deal.”

He would also physically pick her up and allow her to sleep on his shoulders during bus rides to school.

Imagine listening or FaceTiming with your girlfriend and she’s talking about, “Oh, I put my hand on his shoulders and I went to sleep. He’s such a sweet man. But you don’t have to worry, honey. It’s totally innocent.”

Towards the last two months of our relationship, he even told her that “she is the type of girl he would date.”

So she’s given you full disclosure. Like what the late, great Doc Love used to say was that, “women don’t lie and men don’t listen.” In other words, you have to understand how to interpret her womanese. She’s telling you, “oh, this is the guy. He’s hitting on me. And, oh, I’m putting my head on his shoulder.” If you can’t put two and two together to see what’s happening, it’s like, “whoopsie,.” That’s on you.

When I spoke my mind regarding his inappropriate behavior, she told me that she would talk to him about his previous statements and actions.

That’s naughty. “You’re being naughty, Mister. How dare you let me put my head on your shoulders and sleep on you during the bus ride.” So she’s putting her head on his shoulders during the bus ride. There’s probably kissy poo happening. She just didn’t disclose that.

But in her mind, her conscience is clear, because she did tell you about him, and she did tell you that she was physically touching. She just didn’t tell you how much physical touching was going on. Again, this is a womanese. She is being honest, from her perspective.

She did, and the guy mentioned that “he was not trying to sabotage her relationship with me and that he wants our relationship to succeed.”

Oh yeah, sure he does.

Which she believed.

Yeah, right.

I obviously called bullshit and she reassured me that she would remain loyal to me.

Nevertheless, the two remained as “friends.” 

This hoe ain’t loyal to nobody.

During this time, her other male friend, her previous co-worker, would FaceTime with her on a frequent basis for hours at a time during a week.

Oh yeah, they’re just friends. And he’s there exchanging cooking recipes and yoga routines. Sure. Totally. Seems totally legit. Instead of her FaceTiming for hours a week with her boyfriend, she’s FaceTiming with the friend from work.

It got to the point where she is chatting more with him than me.

That’s obvious.

When I told her that what she was doing was inappropriate, she told me that she was not being cognizant of the time. Probably another bullshit lie.

“I just lost track of that. Shucks, I lost track of time. Honey, I’m so sorry. It’s just, it just happens that we were just continually talking for hours and hours and hours. And I was talking to him more than you. I just lost track of time.” Sure. That’s what Doc Love called the Whopper. She told you a whopper.

Anyways, a few days after Valentine’s Day this year, she called me crying and mentioned that she wanted to end the relationship as it was causing a lot of stress.

Oh the poor thing. Life is so hard.

Obviously, I was not buying her statement, and I asked her if she caught feelings with this “guy friend?” At first, she hesitated, and I told her to just tell me the truth. She then told me that she did develop feelings for him.

I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell you. You ever see Casablanca? Then you’ll know what that’s from. When the Nazis show up and they’re like, “all this despicable behavior has been going, he’s like, I’m shocked, shocked, I tell you.”

Even though in the past she told me to trust her judgement regarding the entire situation.

Yeah, trust her judgment until, “Oops.” He ends up inside of her. And “Oopsie. It just happened. It was an accident.”

Obviously, I wished her well in a common monotone manner, and I told her not to contact me ever again. I will never contact her again as she betrayed me. Even though I know she cheated on me emotionally.

She cheated on you physically, Dude. She had her hands all over, Dude. If she’s sleeping with her head on his shoulders, there’s probably way more going on at that time than she just didn’t disclose it to you. It’s lying by omission. But in her mind, she absolved herself from any lying.

Because she did tell you about this guy, and she did tell you that they were physically touching. And she also told you that he wanted romance with her. So everything is on the table. He’s been pursuing her since she met him, in essence, dating this guy on the side and just telling you, “oh, nothing’s going on. Oops. All of a sudden he ended up inside of me. It just happened. Oh, no.”

Do you think Coach that she had a physical affair with this guy? 

I would say probably yes. I mean, she’s physically touching him. She’s disclosing that you just don’t know how far it went. But if she’s spending that much time riding on the bus, falling asleep, you know, that tells me that they’re close physically. That the touch barrier has been broken and she feels totally comfortable touching them like she would touch you; her now ex-boyfriend. So I would say more than likely, yes.

Thanks for everything you do, and I hope you have an amazing day! 

Yours truly,

Bob

Well, sorry this happened to you, Bob, but the good news is you got 3% Man, and you’re reading it. And I highly recommend you and everyone else watching this look at the video description below and go and Subscribe to our Members Only Content. I’m doing six additional Video Coaching Newsletters per week. We have the 3% Man Study Group with Caroline and the rest of The Girls and Chunky. And we also are getting ready to start releasing.

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