How to properly display consistent masculine dominance, emotional self control and self respect, instead of coming unglued, revealing an illusion of strength and causing a woman to lose all of her respect and attraction for you.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who seemed to be pretty cocky and full of himself and his illusory success with his girlfriend. He says he has been following me for a while. They were dating for about three months and they finally decided to become exclusive. Then one night while they were hanging out, she started being bitchy and projecting her anger onto him. He decided to leave and go home. The next day, she called to apologize and said she thought he was still mad. He denied this. Then, he did not hear from her for twenty-four hours, and he freaked out.
He totally lost his emotional center, emotional self-control and this revealed his false sense and image of masculine strength. He then proceeded to blow up her phone with questions of “What’s going on? Where do we stand? Why are you ignoring me?” Etc. Then he found out she had used his credit card to make some purchases without his authorization. He got his money back, but he’s wondering what he can do to get over this since he still cares for her. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I’ve been a big time fan of yours for some time. I’ve been using all of the techniques you have been preaching about, and I thought I was having a success, then BOOM!!!! (You have to read the book 10-15 times in order to know the fundamentals. There are no shortcuts.) It was like a big pickup truck hit me right in the face. I was dating this girl for three months, and we finally decided to become exclusive. (If you had been reading my book, you would know it should have been her idea to become exclusive.) One night, we were just relaxing at her place, and she was in a seriously bitchy mood about something and decided to take some of her anger out on me. I told her, “Sorry for what’s going in your life now, but you need to cool down and not take that shit out on me.” Of course there was a lot of tension still in the room, so I decided to leave and head home. (If you knew the relationship and communication aspects I teach in the book, you wouldn’t have just left. You would have gotten her to open up about what was bothering her. Just leaving a heated discussion communicates you don’t care about what’s bothering her, and therefore, she’s still going to be pissed off.) The very next day, I texted her good morning and she replied, “Are you still mad at me,” (At three months in, she should be doing 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing), to which I replied, “No, not at all. Why?” and an hour later she replied with, “I can tell.” I didn’t respond at that instance. After a while, I knew she had a busy day, so I told her I was heading out and for her to have a great day and night with her friends. (In other words, when she didn’t respond right away, you sent a text. That’s where a woman can tell that you’re way more into her than she’s into you. When a woman thinks you’re more invested, it usually causes her to back away.) She didn’t respond at all for the entire day or night. Then, just like any typical guy, I fucking freaked out and sent my whiny stupid text like, “Why are you ignoring me?” and, “I didn’t do anything to deserve this shit. Let me know what’s going on.” (You totally unraveled. Because you did not know the fundamentals, you were in a fearful state instead of a relaxed state.) After just taking a breather and remembering your training, I knew right here she was giving me the silent treatment. She even blocked me on Facebook.
After two days of no contact, I decided to reach out. (‘No contact’ is not a technique. It means you walk away and never look back. It means you hit the ball over the net, and you wait for the other person to respond.) I told her I knew we were no longer talking, and I apologized for being a needy and insecure jackass. (Again, this is making you look weak.) I told her I still love and care for her, and if she still wanted to see me in a romantic level to keep me in mind. (It sounds like you’re trying to make her think like you don’t care. However, she knows you care because you blew her phone up, and now you’re doing it again with another pussy text.) I was starting my walk away approach and never looking back. (You’re focused on techniques instead of just being instinctual, letting things flow and being confident. You’re under the illusion of action and trying to force things.) After a couple days, I was looking through my bank statements and saw a purchase of some tickets to a theme park that she purchased with my card. (It sounds like you were way more into her than she was into you.) Of course I took the necessary steps to get my money back, but damn, what a self-centered bitch move that was. My question is, because I did have strong and caring feelings for her, even after the stupid stunt she pulled, what are the next steps for me to completely let her go, out of mind and heart forever? (Read the book 10-15 times so you can prepare yourself properly. This girl has no integrity. I wouldn’t even keep her as a fuck buddy. She should be out of your life forever. Get back out there and ask out 100 women in the next 30 days.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Impatience never commands success. It’s always better to take a deep breath and take a step back when you are under pressure or when you feel pressure to do something or make a rash decision without gathering all of the facts first. This is especially true when it comes to negotiation. It’s better to walk away from a bad deal and never look back, than to bluff that you are walking away, only to turn around in a moment of desperation and reveal your weaker position. When you care more about what you want than the other party in a negotiation does, and you show this, you will lose all power and leverage to get the best deal for yourself and the terms you desire.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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