The Importance Of Letting Women Come To You At Their Pace

Why you must let women come to you at their pace to attract & keep them interested.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been following my work since 2017. He shares how his last relationship with a unicorn ended because he became complacent and stopped reading and studying 3% Man. She gave him an ultimatum for marriage and he declined. She left him.

He shares how he’s been dating women in other countries and is dating even hotter and more fun women now. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Very, very, very important principle from 3% Man. If a woman is always chasing you, you don’t have to worry about getting dumped. So there is an art to this.

In this particular email, this guy has been following me since 2017. So about eight years, because it’s 2025 now. Thanks for sticking around by the way! So he shares how his last relationship with a unicorn ended because he did what pretty much most guys do that caused the end of their relationships. He became complacent. Stop dating and courting her properly. In this case, he says he stopped reading and studying 3% Man once he got together with his girlfriend and they were together, I think he said he was 40 and she was 26 at the time, so she ended up eventually when she got around 30. She gave him an ultimatum for marriage and he’d already been married and divorced. He’s like, “I’m not into that. I checked that box already. I’m not going to involve the government anymore in my relationships.” So she left him and he was pretty upset about it because he did like her a lot, but he didn’t want to get married.

So he’s been traveling internationally. He thought he would apply what he’s learned because he got back into the book and realized how far away from the material he had gotten. So he has a bunch of really good success stories. Now he’s dating women who are even hotter and more fun because in his mind, when it first happened, it’s like all of us, scarcity creates value. How often do you meet a new best friend? It’s like something that hardly ever happens. So how often do you meet a girl you really click with who’s really hot, who’s really into you, and you feel the same way? Like you get one to three of those a decade, typically. So when it happens, you really value those people, you really value those girls, and when you lose them, especially because you didn’t do the right things, those things are hard to get over because you know, it’s gonna be years before you meet somebody you click with like that on that level again.

So again, he learned a lot from this whole process, so he wrote this email in hopes to inspire you and anybody else that watches this video.

Viewer Email:

Hey Corey,

I’ve been a student of your work since 2017. You made a video from my email about seven years ago. I wanted to share with you an update and something I think might inspire others about how to recover after a breakup.

From 2017-2022, I read your book at least 10 times, about twice per year. It helped me build a rotation of four women I was seeing regularly until I found the girl of my dreams. At the time I was 40, and she was 26. She was the most beautiful woman I ever dated, but I already had other stunning regulars, so I wasn’t in a rush to settle down. I made her wait almost a year before we became exclusive.

Well, that’s kind of surprising as she stuck around that long, because when you treat a girl like a rotation girl and you only see her once or twice a week, there’s a time limit on that.

She knew other women were in the picture, even though I never talked about them directly. That really kept her in her feminine energy. She was always seeking more of my time, but I limited her to only two days a week because I was seeing other women, and I needed at least one day off each week for myself. Eventually, she became my favorite and she moved in. For over two years, we lived together in my house in California, and often traveled around Europe and Mexico and lived what I would describe as a crazy fantasy. 

But then I made a critical mistake. I stopped reading your book. I stopped courting her properly.

Well, it’s pretty much 99.999% of the guys, they all do the same thing that leads to the end of their relationships. They stop dating and courting her, and they don’t make her feel heard and understood.

Her attraction didn’t fall overnight, but it dropped slowly. She became moody, argumentative, and disrespectful.

Well, that’s what happens when you don’t lead. She doesn’t feel like you care, so she’s going to lash out with anger. What’s behind anger? Fear. Fear that she won’t be loved. So she was afraid that you weren’t going to love her, and it was over.

I picked up the bottle and never put it down. I was no longer the man she fell in love with.

So he had a drinking issue, too.

Then, just before her 30th birthday, she gave me the ultimatum: “Put a ring on my finger right now, and have a baby with me or I’m leaving.” I told her to go.

She packed her car and drove to her parents’ house. While she was gone, I packed the rest of her things in garbage bags and put them in the garage for her to pick up later.
She seemed so certain she could break me and force me into marriage, but I’d been married once before. I told her from the start I wasn’t going to do that again.

Well, at least he was honest and consistent, but she stuck around thinking, “I’ll change him. I’ll fix his little red wagon.”

It really hurt to lose her. She was a model. Perfect body. Best I ever had. But I knew how to recover. I scored a dime before. I could do it again. I told myself: “Even though I lost the girl of my dreams, I’m going to find another one. An even better one.”

It’s the attitude you got to have.

So while in recovery from the breakup, I spent the next six months listening to your book two more times while working out at the gym almost every day…

So he got back to the basics,

…And I booked a flight to Thailand to get away and try something new. I heard Thailand is a sanctuary for broken men, so I thought I would fit in perfectly. I was right.

Well, there’s lots of lady boys there too. For your enjoyment, of course.

On the flight, I listened to your book again. Landed in Bangkok for a one-week vacation and decided to jump right back into dating again.

He got right back up on the horse, literally.

I talked to at least 30-40 women, got plenty of numbers, went on some dates, and I closed four deals.

Not bad.

Thailand made it so easy to get back into the dating scene. The women there enjoy it when men approach them. It was the perfect place to re-develop my dating skills, conversation, and seduction— Especially since I’d been out of the game for three years. I really don’t know why American women have become so difficult, but they are.

Well, that’s your opinion. They’re not all like that. You know, compared to like 30 years ago to now, definitely less people are getting married, more people coming from broken homes, those kind of family values that most dudes like, if they’re going to wife up a girl, they’re just not as common. I mean, just look at church attendance. It’s not like it used to be, but good people are hard to find. They always have been. Good girls are hard to find. They always have been. Good friends are hard to find. They always have been.

How many of you guys have lent money to somebody that you thought was a friend and then you never heard from again? There are bad people in society. There was a guy in the live stream the other day who was saying, I think he said he lent $15,000 to a friend of his that he’d known for like 30 years, and when he would ask for the money back, the guy would just be a dick about it and not pay him anything. I was like, “You’re probably never going to see a penny of it.” Every time I lent money out, or I had friends that lent money out, they never got paid back, ever. Don’t lend money to your friends unless you don’t care to have them as a friend anymore.

Trying something new was exactly what I needed to do.

So I kept in touch with one girl I met in Thailand, but I branched out and started talking to women in Portugal. I developed a list of women I wanted to meet there. I booked a two-week vacation in Portugal, and that’s where I met Maria. Absolute knockout. She blew my mind.

Well, she speaks Portuguese. Kind of like the Brazilians. Brazilians do it better. I can only imagine what it’s like in Portugal. I haven’t been to Portugal. That’s one of the countries I have not been to in Europe.

We hooked up four times and it was the best sex I’ve ever had. Just when I thought I couldn’t do better, I did 110% better. I lost a 10 and replaced her with an 11.

That’s what it’s supposed to be, my man. You did the work. You got back to the book, you got back to the basics, and you applied it.

I went abroad and I never looked back.

How did I do it? I followed the principles you teach, and I want to point out that the principle about letting women come to you at their own pace is one of the most important ones.

This is a good paragraph here. Pay attention.

A woman that beautiful takes longer, tests harder, and has a much smaller tolerance for error.

Yeah, they got lots of choices and lots of options. Every dude wants to fuck them and they want to hang out with the most masculine, disciplined dude that has their shit together.

Whenever I texted, I always waited patiently for her to get back to me. Sometimes it took three days, but I stayed patient, and now she’s the one blowing up my phone 4-5 times a day, and starting to ask me for a relationship.  Anyways, I wanted to share that for your audience. Because if I could tell you guys anything it’s this:

1. Don’t stop reading the book.

So 10 to 15 times to start out with. It’s ideal if you listen to the audio-book while you’re looking at a digital or physical copy. There are links on my website, UnderstandingRelationships.com, that if you click on those links, you can do an audible free trial and get actually both my books, 3% Man and Mastering Yourself, for free.

So again, number one, don’t stop reading the book. Then after you’ve gone through it 10 to 15 times, you want to be a really good student and keep your knowledge fresh, because society is constant and media is constantly trying to brainwash you back into the old ways that are dysfunctional and don’t work. You should go through the book at least twice a year, once every six months.

2. Don’t think there’s only one girl of your dreams.

In other words, don’t have oneitis. There’s another bus every 15 minutes.

3. Don’t settle or get weak because you’re comfortable.

4. Don’t over-pursue. Let her come to you.

5. Don’t be afraid to let one go, because there really are better ones out there if you stay sharp.

Thank you for what you do, Corey. Your work has changed my life twice now.

Bob

Well Bob, congratulations on your success! It’s just another good success story that shows what happens when you get back to the fundamentals. You fall off the horse, you get back into it, and everything seems to fall back into place. So good job, dude!

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