Why the kiss test is important, and why going for the kiss on the first date is essential to determining whether or not a woman is flexible, easy going and someone who deserves a second date with you.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who asks about the kiss test. He is relatively new to my work. Recently, he met a woman at a work conference, and they really hit it off. They exchanged numbers. He took her out for sushi, and the date seemed to go really well. After dinner, they went to another venue and had some drinks. While they were having drinks, he used the kiss test from my book. When he looked at her lips she also looked at his, and he knew he should then kiss her, but he bitched out. As they were leaving, he pulled her in to kiss her, and she pushed him away and scolded him by trying to make him feel bad for having the audacity to think he could kiss her. She flat out told him not to and that she was old fashioned, so he kissed her on the cheek. She then told him to text her when he got home. When he did not, she texted him an impatient response for not replying like she told him to. He asks my opinion on the situation. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email:
How are you doing? I am 28, had a long term relationship for 5 years, have been single for the past 2 years, and I have only recently started to read your work and watch your videos. I started exercising regularly and surprise, surprise, dates are happening. I haven’t read your book 10-15 times, because I just haven’t had enough time yet. (I call bullshit on that. That’s just your excuse. Like Andy Roddick said, “At some point in your life, you either have the things you want or the reasons why you don’t.”)
I met this one girl through a work conference, and then saw her again last week. We really hit it off. We had great chemistry and sexual energy. We exchanged numbers, and then I set the date. We had an amazing, fun time, and she did 80-85% of the talking! We had sushi, as I heard that’s what you like on a first date too, and I understand why. Then, we went for a drink afterwards. There was this one time I had the opportunity to go in for the kiss test. It was perfect. I looked at her eyes, lips, eyes, lips she smiled and looked at mine, and damn I didn’t do it. (You dithered and hesitated. That makes you look like you have no courage or confidence. If you don’t go for the kiss, don’t use the kiss test.) My bad. I ended the night shortly after, and as we were parting ways, I grabbed her and said, “I had a great time tonight,” and went for the kiss. Then she pulled back a little and said, “Hey, don’t kiss me. I’m very old school. I’d like to take my time and get to know you more,” in a tone that was like ‘why the fuck would you ruin such an amazing time and try and kiss me.’ (When a girl says something like this, she doesn’t deserve a second date. With more experience, these things won’t happen to you again. You’ll know what to look for.) I was like oh okay, so I stepped back in and kissed both cheeks, hugged and said bye. Before I left she said, “Text me so I know you got home safe.” I didn’t agree to but said okay and left.
I have a feeling she was testing me on the old school part and the texting. I maybe should have said to her I am a man, and will get home safely, don’t worry or something. (No. It’s not necessary. You’re not a robot, and you don’t have to do what she says. Like Steve McQueen said, “I live for myself, and I answer to no one.” She’s structured, she follows a set of rules and she’s trying to get you to fall in line with her agenda.) Anyway, I didn’t text her. When I got home, she texted me saying, “Hey. I really enjoyed myself and had a great time. You are really easy to chat with and seem to have your heart in the right place. I just like to take it slow. If that’s an issue, I won’t hold it against you. I was just definitely born in the wrong generation.” I didn’t text back, and then 10 minutes after she said, “Are you seriously not back yet?” (Do you think this girl is secure and comfortable and has a healthy self-esteem?), so at that point I thought she was worried and saying ‘what the fuck are you seriously not going to text me?’ and I texted back saying “Hey, yes sorry… was chatting to housemates. I am at home. I also had a great time. Would love to see you again. I had fun.” (I would have taken my time to respond.)
The kiss test rejection really threw me off, and I am unsure what to do now. (I would delete her number.) I know I should have set the date again, (Wait until she reaches out to you a few days later to make the next date. Don’t set the second date on the same day as your first date), but I will probably read your book another few times, please help!
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“How do you know when a woman is ready to be kissed on a date? Look into her eyes, then slowly down to her lips and then slowly back into her eyes during normal conversation. Slowly repeat this 1 or 2 more times over the next 10-20 seconds. If she looks at your lips also, then she is thinking about kissing you too. Go for it immediately! You should always go for a kiss on all of your first dates. Women who are flexible, open, romantically interested and easy going will kiss you back passionately. They deserve a second date. Women, who give you the cheek, hug you or scold you for trying, never get or deserve a second date.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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