In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who shares a success story of how my work helped him to get over the breakup with his long-term girlfriend of five and a half years. He broke it off with her, because he said his needs were not getting fulfilled. That is when he came across my work. After reading my book just one time, he was able to meet, date and sleep with two different women. However, he really was not into either of them. Then he read my book for a second time to figure out what he was doing wrong, he did the love letter exercise and also made a list of the ideal qualities he wanted in a woman. Even though he thought it was total bullshit, he did it anyway. He shares how he met the current woman he has been dating for the past four months and how she is everything that he had written down. He asks my opinion on contacting her and using the phone at this stage of their relationship to send good morning or good night texts, as he feels the urge to do so from time to time. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email:
I wanted to reach out and say thanks for all of the work you’ve put out. I’ve been following your work for about 5 months now, and it’s worked wonders. I’m 28 and make good money as an entrepreneur. About six or seven months ago, I broke up with my long time girlfriend of 5 1/2 years. The relationship was good, but I wasn’t getting my needs fulfilled and didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in a sexless relationship. (So many people are in these situations where they feel trapped and have no choice. They give up hope and accept it as their lot in life, thinking things won’t get any better. However, if you apply what I teach in my book, you will have total choice.) Even though I broke it off with her, I felt like shit the next few months and wondered what went wrong in the relationship. (When you’re with somebody that long, your whole identity becomes associated with being in that relationship. If you make changes in your life, and that person is gone from your life forever, it can be difficult to get back to the person you were before you met them. That’s why it’s so important to focus on yourself, focus on your goals, and do things for yourself that make you happy.) That’s what brought me to your book.It shed some light on things I was doing wrong. I lost myself in the relationship and got complacent. (People sacrifice who they are so they can spend more time with the other person and make them happy, but when you do that, you’re no longer the same person they fell in love with. You don’t come together with someone to complete them. You come together with them to share your completeness.) I was basically only doing stuff for myself and was not courting her correctly. After reading your book one time, I felt like I was ready to go into the field. I was successful with hanging out, having fun and hooking up with two girls, but it was just as you said, it felt like glorified masturbation. I wasn’t attracted to these girls, and I felt like something was missing. (If they are boring people and you have no shared goals and values, you won’t enjoy spending time with them. You want to by physically drawn to somebody, but it’s only a small part of a relationship. It’s more fulfilling to fall in love with somebody’s soul, and not just their physical body. It’s a richer experience, and the memories will be more intense.) So then, I read your book again and figured out what I wasn’t doing. I DID NOT ASK FOR WHAT I WANTED. (You get what you focus on in life, and if you’re not focused on anything, you’ll just take whatever shows up, and it will make you miserable.) I thought that exercise where you list qualities you want and don’t want for your ideal women was bullshit, but I did it anyway, and what do you know. I meet some girl at a concert and got her number. (That’s what happens. That’s why I talk about loving your life and filling it up with circumstances and people that are exciting and compelling to you. You weren’t expecting to meet a girl there, you were excited about going to a concert. You were just living your life, and you aligned yourself with her vibrationally. There’s a great meditation I learned from Dr. Wayne Dyer on his “Meditations For Manifesting” cd called, the “AH Meditation.” As you make the “AH” sound, focus on what you want and send that intention out into the universe for about twenty minutes. You’re so chill when you’re finished with that, it’s a great way to start your day. When you go about your day enjoying yourself and smiling, that’s when you will become most attractive to the opposite sex.) I waited a few days and went on a date. We clicked, and it felt EFFORTLESS. It still feels effortless. We’ve been hanging out, hooking up and having fun ever since, four months. I wait for a few days for her to reach out, and I set the next date. We always have a good time on our dates, and I never bring up any relationship talk. (You’ve only read the book two times, however, I tell people to read it 10-15 times, so it will become instinctual. You were able to attract somebody, but you have a knowledge gap. I can tell you don’t yet understand the principles in the book.) I just focus on hanging out, having fun and hooking up. Thank you for making me do that stupid list exercise. The Laws of Attraction really fucking works. I’ve now read your book 3 times, but I’ve read the 2nd half of your book 6 times. (That’s good, but I teach pickup skills, dating skills and relationship skills, and you need to learn all of them, instead of trying to cherry-pick things in the book.) My only question is, I sometimes get the urge to text her good morning or good night. (The only time I text a woman is if she asks for it. If she doesn’t ask for it, I wouldn’t bring it up. If you’ve been dating this woman for four months and you’re still not in a relationship, something’s off there. If you had read my book 10-15 times, and followed what it teaches religiously, she would have fallen in love with you by week seven and asked you to be in a relationship.) I know you’ve said the phone is only for setting dates, but even when it’s come to this point in the relationship? What about a year, or even five years, down the road? I don’t know where I draw the line. (You feel the need to reach out and pursue more, which tells me you’re showing up in that relationship as needy and pursuing, and you’re not following the fundamentals I teach. Read the book 10-15 times. There are no shortcuts to success. Take a look at my articles, “What Would James Bond Do?” and “Women Who Make It Easy.” These are some great success stories of guys who have read the book 10 to 20 times. They know it, and it’s instinctual.)
Thanks again coach! Keep doing what you do!
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The universe will conspire with you to provide exactly the right type of people and circumstances you intend and focus on. People who feel like they don’t have any choices with lovers, jobs or their circumstances tend to just take whatever shows up and settle for less than what they really want, assuming it’s simply their lot in life. People who take personal responsibility for their lives and success believe everything that happens to them in their lives, good and bad, is a result of their actions, thoughts, emotions, intentions, feelings and focus. This universe also has a sense of humor and irony, but always a higher purpose, by sending you people and circumstances that will test your limits, patience and resolve, as well helping you overcome your shortcomings and weaknesses.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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