The Meaning Of The Maybe, Hopefully or Probably Date Response

What it really means when a woman says maybe, hopefully or probably for a date.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who’s clearly spinning his wheels with a girl he’s trying to date. He says they have been dating for a while. However, he never seems to be able to actually meet up for a date in person. She usually gives a maybe, hopefully or probably response when he tries to set a date. When she does agree to a date, she ends up canceling. He thinks he’s figured out what is going on, but asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “The Meaning Of The Maybe, Hopefully Or Probably Date Response.”

Well, this particular email is from a viewer who says he realizes now, I guess he was doing a lot of Snapchat with this particular girl. And that she would send pictures and memes, and then that would kind of start a conversation. But it wasn’t happening through text. It was just basically through snap and social media. And so he noticed, like when he tried to set dates, he gets very flaky, non-committal. Maybe hopefully we’ll be able to get together. And he kind of realized, “I’ve been over pursuing this girl.”

And so this is important because the other thing he’s focused on is what she’s saying to him, which is, “Oh, I really like you. We’re dating.” But yet every time he tries to set a date, she’s kind of non-committal, difficult. And then recently he set a date, and you can tell he’s expecting her to reject him.

Or he’s expecting her to cancel because he even brings it up. “Oh, hey, let me know ahead of time if you can’t make it.” And of course, she’s not going to be able to make it. So partly he’s over pursuing a little bit.

He’s not letting her come to him. Plus he’s ignoring the fact that she’s just not that into it. So I would assume that he’s kind of new to my work. Probably hasn’t read 3% Man yet, even though it’s free to read in the Members Area of my Website.

All you got to do is subscribe to the email newsletter, and there’s a little tape down at the bottom that says free eBooks at UnderstandingRelationships.com. That’s what it’s all about. And you can also obviously read Mastering Yourself and the First Quotes Book is also in there for your reading pleasure. So with that said, let’s go through his email and see what’s going on.

Viewer Email:

Hello Corey,

I’m grateful for everything you teach, and I have such a positive outlook and confidence in myself and the future because of your teachings. You made a video on my email titled “Here’s Why You Don’t Date Difficult Or Structured Women.” I’m duly grateful.

I don’t know how long ago that particular video was, but if you’re watching this or reading this on the website, it will be there linked in the body of the article.

I’ve been dating someone else for a while now, at least she says we are dating.

Well, it’s always important to look at what she does, not what she says, because even when a woman’s interest is low, she’s not going to blow things up or make you think that it’s a lost cause but she also is going to be kind of difficult to get out on dates. And if a girl is telling you how much she likes you, but can never seem to find the time and her schedule to go out on a date, well, it really means her interest is low, but she likes the attention.

She likes you being a backup. She likes having another option, i.e. you being around, and you want a woman who sees you as a priority. You want her to be thinking, “wow, this is the best guy I’ve ever dated. I really got a catch here.” And not really, that all boils down to it’s not how handsome you are, or how tall you are, how big your bank account is. It boils down to how she feels about you. And what you do to make her feelings grow. Or go the other way.

Whenever I tried making dates, she would always use unsure language like “maybe, hopefully, probably.”

So typically when a woman says, “maybe” it really means “no”, but she doesn’t want you to give up completely because she likes your attention, or she’s not ready to just kick you to the curb and get serious with somebody else. And a lot of women will like to keep the male orbiters around.

Because that way if things go sideways with the guy that they’re really into, well, they can just call up one of the male orbiters or text them or send them a meme. And then he starts drooling all over her. She feels good about herself, but she still won’t make a date.

This gave me the impression she wasn’t interested so I would do the takeaway. Just for some context.

Yeah. So again, this is an appropriate response like I talk about in 3% Man. It’s like if she’s saying well maybe we can go out Friday. Well why don’t you call Friday morning or Friday afternoon a couple hours before just to confirm we’re still on. And if you’re a typical busy professional man, it’s like you got maybe 1 or 2 evenings a week available to go on a date, or go hang out with friends or see your parents or whatever.

And so you’re not going to be leaving your schedule for maybe. And so the proper response is a takeaway. So if she says, “well, maybe Friday”, then just say, “why don’t we do it on a day where you’re definitely available?” And she’s like, “oh, I’m not sure.” I’ll just say, “well, I only got to one night a week I have available. And if you’re not sure you’re going to be able to make it, I just rather make plans to do something else or make plans with somebody else that is definitely available. Go and see my friends, go see my mom.” Whatever.

And that’s the takeaway. In other words, if she’s like a then your attitude should be like, “well, if your attitude is eh towards going out on a date”, you’re not going to tell her this, but you’re going to notice the lack of enthusiasm, and especially if she’s using maybe, hopefully, probably that just shows noncommittal. And in other words, it’s not like Justin Bieber or Brad Pitt just tried to make a date with her.

If it’s a super successful, famous, really handsome guy, she’s going to clear her schedule and blow off her plans with their friends. But if it’s a guy she’s marginally interested in, you’re going to get that, “eh, maybe, eh, if I got nothing else comes up, or if Chad Thunder Cock doesn’t call me, then hopefully we can go out. Or probably we can go out.”

She is interested in me, she tells me how she talks a lot about me to her friends and mentioned we were dating last time we hung out.

Yeah, but there’s no enthusiasm. So that sounds nice. It’s like, you know, dangling the carrot in front. “Oh, you almost got it that time. Don’t give up. Oh!” Have you ever seen the. I think it’s an insurance commercial. Maybe a Geico commercial, if I’m not mistaken. There’s a dude. He’s got a couple dollars in there, and he’s dangling it above one of the customers, and. “Oh, you almost got it.” Pulls away at the last minute. It’s kind of like what women do here.

I always kept things away from labels. Here is my question, after a date earlier this month, I asked her out 4 days later. The date was two weeks in advance, she used “probably”. I told her that I was looking for a hell yeah and it sounded like she was lacking enthusiasm, was I needy for bringing this up?

Well, you’re trying to use something that I’m using to explain what’s going on in a woman to try to get leverage upon her, to get her to commit to a date. You shouldn’t be copying and pasting things out of the Book word for word into a text like this. Because these are things I say in videos that I’m trying to get you to understand what you’re looking for. You don’t go and tell her, “oh, you need to say, hell yeah. You’re lacking in enthusiasm.” It’s not going to help.

It’s there to help you analyze the situation and understand her true motivations, without having to say things that try to back her into a corner because it’s not going to work when you use it that way. And what that tells me is that this guy hasn’t read the Book 10 to 15 times, he’s maybe thumbed through it once, if that. He’s probably just cherry picking videos. And that’s why he doesn’t really it’s not really clicking for him yet because he’s lazy and he’s half assed it.

And quite frankly, that’s what most people do. They want the quick pickup line, the quick shortcut, the magic panty dropping set of words. It’s it just doesn’t work this way. Because if your mindset and your self-talk is one that, “oh yeah, girls don’t like me, she’s probably going to reject me. She’s probably not that into me.” That’s the vibe you’re going to give off. Its going to come out in the tone of your voice. It’s going to come out in the combination of words that you use and you’ll take something like this.

I was looking for a hell yeah and sounded like she was lacking enthusiasm. You don’t say that to a girl. This is me explaining something in a video to you, and you’re trying to copy and paste that into a text. It’s like, this is why I say you got to read the Book, man. You got to read it 10 to 15 times. There are no shortcuts to success, because what’s going on here is you’re frustrated, she’s not excited. And when you notice there’s a lack of enthusiasm like it describes in the Book, you match and mirror the lack of enthusiasm.

And it sounds like maybe they’re going out on one date a month, if that. And I had a situation like that I wrote about in the Book where the girl started out real hot and heavy, and then I pursued a little too much. She started backing off. Then I backed off a little bit, but I didn’t back off enough, and I couldn’t get her to make a date. And I even got to the point where I stopped calling her all together to try and make dates. And then she started calling me. And then I would try to make dates, and even still, it was not enough.

And when I finally had to do was not even bring up going out on a date anymore altogether. Because every time previously I tried to set a date, I got some excuse. “Oh, just calling to check in and see how you are.” All she’s doing is she’s just stirring the pot. Because she’s dating somebody else she liked a little bit more, but she wanted to make sure I was still on the hook. But as soon as I disappeared a little bit or she heard I was out on a date with a really hot girl. Complete 180.

Not that I rubbed it in her face. It’s just I happened to run into her boss when she was out on a date with her husband. And then, of course, the next morning when she goes to the office, tells this other girl. Oh, guess who I saw last night? Saw Corey. He was with this really pretty girl. She was all over him. She’s really beautiful. She had such a nice body. Oh my God. Rub it in her face. And 9:01 a.m. Ring. Guess who calls? Complete attitude shift. So the idea is you’re not supposed to use this stuff that I’m using to explain to try to manipulate a woman. This is why you got to read the Book. Can’t half ass it.

She said she wasn’t being difficult on purpose (I never used that word)

Again. This is why you don’t take things that I’m using to explain and throw it in a text at a woman thinking, “ah ha!, copy and paste. This is easy, Coach!” It doesn’t work that way. You got to understand the philosophy and the mindset. And your mindset sucks.

But her life is really unpredictable and things might get busy: she gave really good explanations.

I know the explanations always sound legit. It always sounds like, yeah, it makes sense. Yeah, totally totally logical. But the bottom line is she still won’t go out on a date with you. She won’t set a date.

I set the date but told her to let me know in advance if anything came up.

It’s like you’re telling her, hey, please cancel this date. I’m expecting you to cancel this date because this is what always happens to me. All women cancel dates on me. That’s what you’re communicating when you talk like that. And so again, you’re copy and pasting stuff from videos. You haven’t taken the time to read the Book and you think you’re being clever, but at the end of the day, you’re communicating your mindset is weak.

You’re communicating that this is what always happens to you when you try to go out on a date with a girl. The girls just don’t like you and don’t want to go out with you. This is not how Chad Thunder Cock talks. Chad Thunder Cock makes a date. He makes the get together arrangements. He gets off the phone, he shows up, he beats up her pelvis. Then he clogs up her toilet. Then she calls you to come unclog it. And then you get a peck on the cheek for your trouble.

One week later she bailed with a long note.

Well, as the old saying goes, the longer the excuse, the bigger the lie.

And at the end she said, “You are putting in a lot of effort right now but I can’t return it at the moment”.

What she’s really saying is, “bro, you’re way more into me than I’m into you, and you’re not really a priority to me. So we’re not in the same place.” It’s much better if the women think that they’re way more into you than you are into them. And you’ve obviously communicated the opposite.

The fact that you’re trying to use things that I use to explain things in videos to get leverage upon her, to make her to comply, it’s weak. It doesn’t look good. It makes you look unattractive and like you’re not a catch. And like, women jerk you around and blow you off on the daily.

That was when I realized I was over pursuing, but I couldn’t figure out how. Then it hit me. She did most of the reaching out by sending pictures but with no texts and I would start the conversation by responding to the Snapchat. That was how she got me to reach out 60% of the time.

Well, if she’s sending you something on Snapchat instead of texting you and it’s addressed to you and not her whole following, then you just heart it. That’s it. You don’t need to do anything. If she’s really into you, she’s going to text you. That’s more intimate. That’s more important. If she’s just sending you shit through social media, you’re just not a priority.

That was probably why setting dates were difficult too, because I was the one mostly reaching out by starting the text conversation even though she sent a Snap first.

And this is why, why be exchanging Instagram and Snapchat and all these other things. It’s like, I want your number and this is how we’re going to talk. Oh do you have Snapchat. No I’m never on there. Oh do you have Instagram. No I just use it for business. I don’t ever go on there. If you want to get ahold of me you got to text me. That’s the perfect response. Yeah, I have Facebook, but I haven’t been on it forever. I don’t really go on there.

So if you message me, I’m probably not going to reply because I’m not going to see it. I just don’t use social media for anything other than business. That’s what you can say. That’s what I do. And I don’t use social media for anything other than business. That’s why you don’t see me posting pictures of my life and this and that. It’s like, this is for business. And when the camera’s off, I’m just a regular dude. And I want to be treated as such.

I also realized that the only times we hung out were days she actually reached out with “Heyyyy”.

Corey you are a genius, and I’ve started making all the necessary reforms, I would also like your feedback.

Bob

There you go. So if she is baiting you into, in essence, acting like one of her fans by only contacting you on social media. Like I said, I wouldn’t be on there. Don’t be viewing her stories, because if you’re watching her story, she knows. She gets a receipt. She can tell you watched it. So you need to be scarce. And she’s all, you’re never on Instagram. I was like, yeah, I don’t. I got better; I’m busy. If you need to get a hold of me, babe, just text me. Don’t send me a Snapchat.

It’s like, I don’t even look at that shit. I have a Snapchat account. I haven’t looked at it in years. I don’t even know what my damn login is anymore, I don’t care. So that’s what I would do if I were you Bob. You’re not paying attention. Plus, you don’t know the Book. I don’t think you’ve even read it once, but trying to copy and paste things I say in videos into your text exchange is kind of blowing up in your face.

And like I said, you’re interacting on her social media, so you’re basically acting like one of her fans. So if you act like one of her fans, she’s going to treat you like a low priority. That’s why stay off all these other nonsensical social media apps. It’s not going to help you.

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