The Power Of Saying No To Friendship, But Yes To Romance

Why saying no to friendship when a woman tries to friend zone you can lead to romance down the road.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story from a viewer from Jordan who says he’s a broke medical student who was able to get out out of friend zone with a hot, but broke law student. She tried to friend zone him after the 2nd date, but he declined. A few weeks later she came back and now they are together.

It’s a good quick email that perfectly illustrates the mindset and how you should respond if a woman you like romantically tries to friend zone you. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

I got a short email success story from Bob from the country of Jordan, which is for those of you who don’t know, is in the Middle East.

What’s kind of interesting is, because obviously you hear a lot about Israel and the Palestinians and Hamas and everything in Iran, just this past weekend, Iran launched like several hundred drones and missiles in retaliation for the fact that Israel, I guess there was a building next to one of their embassies that had one of the ringleaders, the Iranian ringleaders, who helped plan the October 7th attacks, and they blew it. They blew his ass up. I guess some, I don’t know what the collateral damage with the building next door was, I can’t remember, I didn’t go that into detail, but they were taken out. A guy that, in essence, was acting like ISIS. So the Iranians were like, “How dare you,” even though the Iranians have done exactly that to other people. They’ve done it to the Israelis many years ago. It’s not like it’s the first time it’s happened.

What’s interesting is in this barrage we had the United States Navy. We had a lot of our planes in the air. So you had a coalition. You had Israelis in the air. He had Americans in the air. You had the Saudis in the air and you had the Jordanians interdicting these drones and working together as a team to prevent these missiles and bombs from landing in their targets in Israel. So for those, I don’t know how much, a lot of you guys probably don’t pay too much attention, but it was just interesting that this email popped up.

I have people everywhere, every continent of the globe that are studying my work. Even some of the members of the royal families of the Middle East are big fans of my work, because what is universal? Dudes are having problems and their relationships. They have problems with their girlfriends and they come to yours truly for help because they know my stuff works. That’s the beauty of competence. It’s self-evident. I don’t look like the type of guy that should know this stuff. I see it.

There’s a guy the other day in the comments, it was like Instagram or somewhere, “He doesn’t look like the type of dude that’s going to help me get laid.” It’s like, I just look like I’m just some average, pasty white guy, but the things that I teach work. Even if you think I’m full of shit, if you apply what’s in 3% Man, Mastering Yourself and Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations Volume One and Volume Two, you will get better results than you have been getting on your own. I teach the fundamentals of the science of high achievement in your personal and your professional life. Anybody and everybody that teaches this stuff these days has unfortunately ripped me off and most of them don’t give me any credit. At the end of the day, the information gets out there. Again, as the quote in the back of the book says, “Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppression of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.”

So with a little bit of politics, I’m sure some of the people on the left will get a little upset, but I don’t fucking care. If you don’t like it, there’s an unsubscribe button. There’s 41 million other YouTube channels you can subscribe to. If you don’t like how the pasty white guy from South Florida has to say things or puts things, at the end of the day, what I teach works.

Now we’re going to hear Bob from Jordan and what happened with his friendship or friend zoning, I should say. This particular guy came across my work. He’s read 3% Man five times. He’s watched at least 200 video newsletters. He’s 21. He’s a broke medical student. His kitty cat is 23. She’s a broke law student. Keep in mind, he lives in a Muslim country. So PDA and some other things that we take for granted in the West, he’s got to be a little bit more like James Bond. I see the same thing in Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Qatar, Pakistan. I got people everywhere. My clients are in every continent of the globe. I’m speaking to a global audience because again, dudes that have problems with their girls is universal.

Viewer’s Email:

Hi Coach,

I’m another Bob from Jordan. After having an amazing experience I wanna send you my story, hopefully you make a video for it. As English is my third language, excuse my grammar in advance. 

Well, I think it’s great that you know three languages. I know 1.5 maybe, so you’re ahead of me.

I came across your work three months ago. Since I have read your book five times and watched at least 200 videos. I’m 21 and I’m a broke medical student. My kitty cat is 23 and she’s a broke law student. We met in a friend group for the first time, after an hour she sat next to me and we had a nice chat. 

So he’s seeing choosing signals. This is what women do. They come over and they put themselves into your orbit, even in a conservative Muslim country like Jordan.

So she sits down next to him. They start talking, but when women do that, they’re typically not going to ask you out. They just come over and make it easy for something to happen, but you’re supposed to be the man and the leader at the end of the day.

A few days later, I sent her a message and invited her for coffee. We went out and had a nice conversation. She did most of the talking and I asked her questions.

Following the book to a T.

Then we went for a short walk and I took her home. I know what you’re saying, I should go for the kiss, but I hope you understand I live in an Islamic country and although I’m not religious, I can never kiss a girl in public nor invite her for drinks. 

I’m well aware, dude. I feel for you, but again, it’s like you got to be like James Bond. James Bond’s not doing things out in the open publicly typically, but this is part of the fun of it. It’s kind of dangerous, but you obviously got to be careful where you at because some countries, like Afghanistan now that the Taliban have taken over, they just announced that they’re reinstituting stonings for adultery. Got to be careful out there.

On the next week she refused to come on date, so I waited another week to ask her again. This time she said OK. 

Yeah, that’s like right out of the book. Maybe she’s in a different headspace. Maybe you said a few things that turned her off. As the book says, you can ask twice. In other words, you ask her out, she doesn’t offer a reschedule or nothing. You can wait a week or two and try again, and that’s what he did. He was going to give her one last chance. So he said on the next week she refused to come on a date. So whatever reason, she was in a different headspace.

On the second date she seemed less interested…

So after the first, whatever happened in the first date, she became less interested and less attracted to him. So I don’t know what he said or what he did. Bottom line, her interest went down instead of up.

…And I had to do most of the talking.

If you’re doing most of the talking on a date, that’s not a good sign. It shows she’s not really making an effort.

She displayed no signs of attraction and refused to hold my hand. So I thought, “I won’t call her again.”

Yeah, she’s not reciprocating. She turned you down for a date the week before you go on this date. She’s a cold fish, so any normal guy would be like, “All right, cross that one off the list. On the next.”

Not to my surprise, she texted the next day telling me how much she enjoys to spend time with me, but only as a friend.

So all the evidence shows she went from being what appears to be romantically attracted to, “Hey, let’s just be friends.” The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. Men who love and value themselves, including men in Jordan, I’m going to say, “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m interested in romance.” So what does he do? He’s been a good student.

So I said friendship isn’t what I’m looking for and I only like her in a romantic way. 

She texted: “Seriousllllly… Okay.” 

I asked her to get in touch if she changed her mind and wished her the best. 

Takes balls to do this. Takes balls to overcome this, because rejection breeds obsession. So we spent a bunch of time over several weeks thinking about this girl, and all of a sudden now he’s like, “She wants to be my friend.” If you don’t know any better, you’ll be like, “OK, I can work with this. I’ll convince her over time to like me.” No! Men who love and value themselves, “I’m not going to give this attention to you. If you just want friendship, I’m going to give it to a woman who appreciates me and who is interested in romance.”

So he went into no contact. It’s not a strategy. No contact just means you walked away from the negotiating table because no deal was possible. Right now there’s big talk, because obviously I’m talking to a guy from the Middle East, Prince Mohammed Bin Salman, who leapfrogged his older brother due to his father saying, “I want you to basically take over when my reign is over.” He has said he will normalize relations with Israel once the war is over, and once they provide Palestine a state or they move in that direction.

I’m a fan of Prince Mohammad Bin Salman. I wrote about him in Mastering Yourself, and I’m glad things are moving in the right direction. There’s a reason why Egypt, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Qatar, none of the Muslim countries, none of the Arabs will take any Palestinian refugees. Why is that? Well, 72% of the Palestinians support the October 7th attacks, and that’s when you’ve been propagandizing your people for two decades. That’s a problem.

That’s why Egypt built their wall even higher to Gaza. Like, we already have enough Islamists in our country. “Thank you. We’re full. We’re going to hard pass in that.” That’s why you see the Jordanian military and the Saudi military working with Israel, the United States, our other allies and our Western allies, as a matter of fact as well, to shoot down all of these Iranian weapons.

After twenty days I got a message and you can never guess who was that. Yes, my kitty cat. So we went out again and this time she held my hand the moment we got together.

So he was willing to never speak to her again and ride off into the sunset. The only way anything would ever happen between the two of them is if she said, “Wait, I changed my mind.” So whatever happened on the first date that he did and said to turn her off, him having the the strength and the confidence to say, “I’m out,” was enough to push her over the edge to cause her attraction to creep back up on her like a kitty cat. Logically you would say, “Well, that doesn’t really make sense,” but this is how women are. Again, this is why people from all over the world come to me for help.

We kissed multiple times and had best time possible. 

About one month later we went out on Valentine’s Day. Later on the date, we started kissing in my car, and as she was turned on so badly, she said: “Bob. Take me somewhere.”

I asked: “Where?”

She said: “Anywhere” 

Long story short, That evening I made her mine and she made me hers. All thanks to your amazing yet simple work, that changed my life forever.

Bob

So now we have another beautiful budding love story in the great country of Jordan with King Abdullah, who I’m a fan of. Former Special Forces guy has a lot of respect around the world, the Middle East. Being able to have a good relationship and walk through society and other people go, “Wow, I’d love to have what they have,” just that little bit helps change the world and make it a better place.

You see, because he’s in a Muslim country, he’s got to be like James Bond. He’s got to do things behind the scenes. He’s not flaunting it or anything like that. That’s just the world we live in. That’s just the difference. When you’re taking 3% Man, you have to apply it in whatever cultural and religious background that you happen to live in. You know what’s cool? Speaking of Prince Mohammad Bin Salman,the fact that he’s disbanded the hisbah, the religious police, and women have the choice to wear the veil or not, but obviously, most of the families, just because they still want their daughters to wear the veil, it’s no longer required.

So he’s loosening up. He’s opening up. He wants the moderate form of Islam. He’s doing away with the influence of the Ikhwan, the Muslim Brotherhood. Good things are happening in that part of the world, and it’s going to be really interesting to see what unfolds over the next several decades. So I’m rooting for everybody in the Middle East, because I want everybody to get along and to be happy and be one big, happy family of humanity, and all the Islamists get put in the ground where they belong.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.