How to let go of an unhealthy relationship and the promise of more later, by seeing it for what it really is, so you can move on, heal and make a space in your life for a lot of really great lovers, or one special person, to have an exclusive monogamous relationship with.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who was stuck in a dead end relationship with a married woman for five years when he first discovered my work. He was living on hope, snatched moments, the promise of more later, the divorce will be over soon, he is moving out soon, etc., and buying into the delusional dream of a rosy future with her.
After a phone session with me, and reading the book five or six times so far, he shares his success story of how he finally had the balls to let her go and create a space for someone new. He is now dating a woman who really likes him, chases him, enthusiastically makes time for him, and who makes sex and romance fun and easy. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I wanted to drop you a quick line to thank you for your help. I was that person stuck in a relationship with a married woman for five years, being the schmuck, living on hope, snatched moments, the promise of more later, and buying into the delusional dream of a rosy future. After five years, the divorce is almost through, he is moving out soon… blah blah blah. It was hard to bear listening to and reading your no bullshit approach, but I always knew deep down you were right, along with most of the people I know! I think there is a part of me that just didn’t want anyone else to have her, me being a prick. Then of course, you point out that a woman who has had two affairs, neither of which was apparently her fault, could just as easily do it to me a few years down the line. Plus, the new man is picking up the shit I had to put up with.
Anyway, I wrote to tell you that I eventually had the balls to say goodbye and block her phone number and email, after a couple of manipulative emails from her, and then presto, a new woman popped in to my life. (You reached your breaking point. That’s when people become open to a career change, relationship change or lifestyle change — when they realize that their belief system is not getting them the results they want.) I have done everything you said. I have read the book probably 5-6 times, and keep dipping in and watching videos. We became intimate on the second date. I am waiting for her to text or email, I’m being mysterious, telling her to just be a girl, I will organize dates, etc., I’m taking control, being centered, and fuck me, does this stuff work. (Ninety days, and you’ve completely changed everything.) We have just spent a fabulous night together, at her place, no husband knowing where we are. We are spending the afternoon in London together being totally fucking normal, instead of the bullshit affair I was having before, and it’s awesome. (You both created a space for each other, and the universe brought you together.)
I enjoyed our one-on-one, and I love your work. I recommend you to loads of friends, but not the women. And even if this one does not work out, I am totally cool with that, as I suddenly see a sea of wonderful women to hang out with. Oh, and I am hanging out, chilling out and hooking up. It feels like I am a sappy creep writing this stuff, but I’m not. I run a successful business, blah blah blah, but women were always a mystery. (Sigmund Freaud said the one question he was unable to answer was, “What do women really want?” Read my book and it will be pretty clear. If you treat women right, they will treat you right.) With your help, those days are over. It’s fabulous!
Thanks Corey. Yep, of course I will make another donation.
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Like attracts like. You can only attract a relationship when you are ready, willing, able and open to one manifesting by creating a space in your life for a romantic lover to fill. It is not healthy, and it creates unnecessary obstacles to your personal life goals to date, get romantically hung up on or attached to married, unavailable, uninterested, messed up or toxic lovers. When you create a space for someone to fill and look forward to its inevitable manifestation, without any attachments to time frames for it to happen in, meeting them simply becomes a matter of time. In the meantime, enjoy your life, focus daily on becoming a better version of yourself, take care of your body, work towards creating your dream life, spend your time with like minded people, and attracting the right person will become a synchronistic, unexpected, magical, memorable, life changing and certain future event.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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