The Purpose Of Your Dating Practice Squad

The purpose of a dating practice squad to help you attract better quality women.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer whose attitude sucks. He created a story that a dating practice squad means dating and sleeping with women you’re not into and don’t like. Therefore, he does nothing in his dating life. He’s lonely and frustrated and doesn’t appear to have much of a social life and doesn’t meet many dating prospects. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “The Purpose Of Your Dating Practice Squad”.

So I’ve got a viewer here who says he’s got an issue with having a dating practice squad. Somehow he thinks your practice squad is supposed to consist of girls you don’t like and aren’t into, which I don’t know how he got that idea. After claiming to have followed me for a while. But the idea with the practice squad is think about it like an NFL team.

How does that typically work? So if a member is not signed to the active roster, then they’re on the practice squad. And with the practice squad, like 9 or 12 players, I can’t remember. I know they changed it in the last few years. I think it might be 12 players now, maybe more. But at the end of the day the practice squad are people that are considered on the bubble.

In other words, they’re good enough to be on the practice squad, but they’re not good enough to be on the full roster because you’re limited to like a 53. I think it’s 53 man roster in the NFL. But the downside is if you’re on the practice squad, you’re not really committed to them, they’re not committed to you. You’re not committed to them. Obviously they sign a contract, but another team can come along and poach anybody that’s on your practice squad.

So in other words, if you’re not exclusive and they’re on your practice squad, another dude can come along and take one of the girls from the practice squad. And so the idea, especially when you’re learning what’s in the book and if you’re a very social person, you’re out a lot, you’re very social. You’re constantly with other people doing things, going to lunches, going to dinners, hanging out, having fun, being a very social person.

And maybe you supplement that with some online dating app just to get additional prospects, you should have quite a number of dating prospects on your roster. And so there might be 2 or 3 girls that you’re just starting to talk to. There might be 2 or 3 different girls that you’ve hooked up with once or twice. You like all of them, but you’re not 100% convinced that you want to date any of them exclusively, but you like seeing them.

You like hanging out with them. You like hooking up with them. They’re really cute. It’s not like an all or nothing kind of thing, especially when you don’t have a lot of experience. And so this guy has developed this attitude, which is really a story that he’s created that says, well, the practice squad is for ugly girls that you’re not into, but yet you force yourself to date and sleep with them anyways.

And so that’s the story that he tells himself. So he doesn’t have to be social. He doesn’t have to try to meet anybody. He doesn’t have to try to date anybody. And it doesn’t sound like he’s a very social person. It seems like he probably goes to work and he goes home and that’s it. He doesn’t have a large circle of friends or whatever, and so he’s not really doing anything to develop his social life.

And so he doesn’t have a lot going on. So he’s lonely and he’s frustrated, obviously. At the end of the day, when I was younger and I was single, I was out all the fucking time. I had a phone conversation with a client who’s been following me for like 15 years the other night. And so he’s got a business that’s a startup and it’s doing well, but he created a story that basically says, you know, “I’ve got to take all my extra money and put it into my business.

And that doesn’t leave any resources for dating and having a social life.” And so he goes to work, he goes to the gym and he goes home. He doesn’t really do anything else other than that. He doesn’t socialize with anybody. And when we were talking, I was like, you know, because he’s younger than me, he’s like, “What are your weekends like?”

I was like, “Man, I was out. Even when I was in college, I was out. Like if I had a bar shift on Friday night, I might be the opening bar shift where I had to be there at 5:30, 6:00. But I’d be off by like 10:00 or 11:00, and I’d go out with my friends. Sometimes I had a Saturday morning class.” My weeks, seven days a week, back when I was in college, till I was 25 years old. Which was from the time I got up in the morning, 6:00, 6:30 till 11:00, 11:30 at night, every half hour was accounted for.

And so that included time to go out with my friends. Because my buddies always wanted to go out on Fridays and Saturdays and Sundays during the day and things of that nature. And so I had a bar shift, a closing bar shift Sunday night. So that might mean Sunday night I get home 1:30, 2:00a.m. in the morning Saturday night. You know, if I’m closing, I might stay out.

I might get off around 1:30, 2:00, and then we might go to, you know, there was a place that was called Doc B’s. It was in Fort Lauderdale. The place might even still be there, if I’m not mistaken. But we would go there and it was like people in the business would go there, and then the owners would lock the door and we would hang out and drink. And, you know, they wouldn’t let any normal folk in there.

And then we would stay up and party till like, you know, 6:00 or 7:00 in the morning. It was kind of like a bottle club, if you will. But it was just people who were in the business, you know. It was just maybe maybe 15, 20 of us in there we all knew each other and hung out. And so we were always doing fun things together. And so if I was either at school socializing and hanging out with classmates, I was at work full time, 50, 60 hours a week.

Plus I had an active social life. Then I had my bartending shift, so I was constantly not home. I was out of my house and I was interacting with other people. I was very busy. And so I always made time to go and do things. And this, this client I was talking to was shocked about that. He thought it was like it was a recluse somehow. I was like, how did you miss that?

I mean, I wrote about that in my books, but you know, so when you’re social like that, and then eventually when I graduate school, I no longer spent those hours with school. And when I finally graduated, about a year before I graduated, I stopped tending bar altogether because I was making enough money in my general contracting job that I was working for a developer to where I didn’t need the extra bar shifts to keep making the money that I was making and used to the lifestyle I was living.

And so I still, it just gave me more time to socialize and hang out. It’s like I just was not at home. I was always out doing things. And even eventually when I moved to Orlando and I got into real estate and I had that business, I had a lot of really cool people. We were all good friends. I was talking to one of them the other day. Just reminds me, I was supposed to call him back and I didn’t because I was so busy with the move and everything.

But we were always hanging out. We were always doing we were going to lunches, we were going to dinners. We were talking about business. We were talking about our future. We’re talking about things we were going to do. We’re talking about girls we’ve been dating or had been on a date with. And all of us were just, you know, just because of the nature of the business, we’re dating tidal agents, we’re dating account executives, mortgage industry girls that worked in insurance.

And so it was a very social business. And because we were a busy company, we were advertised on TV. There were always people coming in the office. We had 40 Employees. I have my two business partners. We had 10,000 square feet. We had 2000 square foot building next to it that my partner had a title company in. And so my life was just busy constantly.

The only time I was at home was when I was sleeping, or I’d be there with a girl or a girlfriend or a girl I was dating whatever happened to be there was in a relationship or in between relationships. But we were always out. We were always socialized. We’re always doing things. We were going to functions. We’re going to trade shows. There’d be a new home community that’s opening up. So we’re going to the opening.

They might have some music playing, they’d have cocktails, they’d have food. You see a bunch of people in the industry that you know there. And then after that event ends, you’re going somewhere for sushi or whatever. Then maybe a bar or some place to hang out together, or going back to one of our houses to have a little party. I had a full liquor bar in my house back then, like I still do to this day.

And I like to socialize and I like to entertain. And so we were just always out. We’re always meeting new people. So it’s pretty easy to have 2 or 3 different girls that I was talking to and dating at the same time, and sometimes 2 or 3 different girls in a week I’d be going out on dates with. And so because of the nature of our business, we were social. And I wasn’t doing any online dating back then.

I was just it was very easy to meet girls and just because of the nature of being social. But if you work and then you go home and you’re not social at all, maybe you’re on some dating apps, it’s going to be hard to have a practice squad like that. And so this guy is kind of painted himself into a corner here. Doesn’t sound like he’s got much of a social life and he’s not really doing anything to help himself.

And so he’s created this BS story that’s not based upon reality at all. And so he doesn’t do anything. But obviously he’s very frustrated and very lonely. You’ve got to participate in your own rescue. You’ve got to get out there and you’ve got to circulate. Even if you’re just taking yourself to lunch or dinner or hanging out and going to places socially, go where other humans hang out, that you like to hang out and do the same kinds of things.

If you’re fit and in shape and you love working out, join a nice high end gym like an equinox, or go to a Pilates class. Or go to a Yoga class in an affluent area because you’re going to get higher IQ, typically better in shape girls that come from good families in those areas. And if you go to a Pilates class, it’s going to be mostly girls in there.

And so you want to go to a target rich environment and you want to do things socially over and over and over again, whether it’s going to the same restaurant or the same rock climbing gym or the same yoga class or classes or the same Pilates class, whatever, it happens to be a lot of cute single girls going and hanging out. That’s where you want to be.

You’ve got to put yourself in situations where you meet other like minded people that like the same kinds of things. You can’t just sit on your ass and be a total recluse and expect your future dream girl is going to come kick your door down and say, “Here I am, let’s live happily ever after.” Doesn’t work that way in the real world. And the other thing that’s most important is you’ve got to get to a happy place first.

You’ve got to be really enjoying your life, proud of yourself, proud of your life, excited about your future. Because if you’re not excited about your life, how are you going to get a woman excited about it? And so if you’re sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself, how are you going to get a woman excited to come join you and accompany you? It’s going to be pretty hard to do.

So with that little diatribe in mind, let’s go through this guy’s email.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach,

I hope you’re doing well and staying healthy. I’ve been following the channel and reading the book on and off for quite a few years now and I have always struggled with one particular thing. I can’t seem to make amends with the idea of having a practice squad. Women whom you’re not that into, but you date them anyway.

Well, the idea is you’re always; one of the things the NFL teams are doing is they’re always churning the practice squad. And again, you know, when I was younger and I was much more active socially than I am now, and I was single, I was out all the time. And so when you’re constantly meeting new people. You may have had a first date with a girl the previous week and you’re like, “Eh, I didn’t really like her.” You’re not going to call her.

You’re not going to go out with her again. So she gets dropped from your practice squad. And then you meet somebody at a function this past weekend, and now she’s added to your practice squad. So you go out on a first date that goes well, you have a little kissy poo. Maybe you hook up, maybe you don’t. But the women that you like, they stick around. You know, you don’t see NFL teams keeping people on the practice squad that they don’t occasionally sign to their active roster when they need somebody.

Then they release them and then hope to sneak them back onto the practice squad before somebody else poaches them. So again, the way another team could poach your practice squad players that you have signed to a contract is they have to promote them to their active roster, and sometimes that’ll happen. A team will grab your practice squad player, sign them to the active roster, keep them for 2 or 3 weeks, 2 or 3 games, and then the person that they were filling in for comes back and then they drop that person.

Then you can pick them back up, get them back on your practice squad. That’s how it works. The idea is you’re always churning. You’re looking for those players that are just on the bubble of making it to the active roster, and they’re taking that next step. And so that next step means you like them. You like them more. You had a good date. So if you have no social life and you’re not doing anything, you’re not, I don’t think this guy’s even doing online dating, probably.

You’re not going to meet anybody. So you’re going to have zero people on your practice squad. So the idea is you’re trying to get better because eventually you need to practice what’s in the book, because the idea is the title, “Woman Of Your Dreams”. How To Meet & Date The Woman Of Your Dreams. That’s the whole intent of the book. Winning the heart of the woman of your dreams. If you talk to anybody, it’s understood in the culture that it always came along when I was least I wasn’t even looking for it.

It just happened. So if you’re just hanging out and having fun and dating, you’ve got a couple cute girls you’re dating and you have the attitude, “It sure would be nice if I meet a nice girl to settle down with, or to have a girlfriend or a family”, or whatever it happens to be. Whatever it is that you’re personally looking for, you have an open attitude, you’re open to it, but you’re not bummed that it hasn’t happened yet.

And you’re just constantly trying to meet somebody that really is a whole other level above everybody else, that who’s beautiful and it’s hot and that’s fun to be around, but somebody that you just want to always be with and you always want to be around them and you genuinely really enjoy their company. And so until that time, you can have a lot of fun because you need to practice the stuff that’s in the book.

Because if your dream woman comes along and you haven’t practiced it at all, you’re going to fucking crash and burn, and then it’s going to take a year and a half to get over that crashing and burning. So you’ve got to put the time in because you don’t know what you don’t know. The idea is, I want you to have enough practice with what’s in the book.

So you see it happening in your own life, because that’s what builds your confidence and your competence. And then when that smoke show comes along that under normal circumstances, you’d have a hard time keeping it together because you’re so into her and afraid of losing her. Your game is tight and you’re smooth as silk.

She falls in love with you and it’s like a fucking Disney movie to her. So you’ve got to put the time in again. The practice squad is exactly that. These are the girls you’re practicing with. It’s not a bunch of ugly girls that you don’t like that your dick doesn’t get hard that you’ve got to take a Viagra to get a boner with them. It’s like, again, that’s the story that you developed and told yourself. So you going, “I’m above this practice squad.”

Well, you’re getting no practice and you’ve got no girls and you’ve got nothing going on. It doesn’t sound like, you know, other than when you’re working, you’re even socializing with people. Dating and making friends is a social activity. You have to get outside your house. Like I said, I was never home when I was younger and single like that. I was constantly doing something. There were always things to go to.

Always somebody was having a party or an event or a function. There was always something going on. And every time you go to those places, you’re always meeting. You’ve got girls, you know, they’re those girls bring friends that they knew they were all so hot. And it was just a constant circulation of new people. It makes it very easy to meet and date and have a really great social life when that’s going on.

Especially if you work with a bunch of fun loving people. And that’s something I’ve always done. When I worked for other people, I always worked at companies that I liked hanging out there. I liked hanging out with the people that I worked with. We always did things together socially. In my own companies, I always hire really cool people that I like hanging out with socially. We don’t just work together, we also hang out socially. We have a lot of fun together. That makes work fun. It makes it seem like it’s playing.

I can’t seem to make amends with the idea of having a practice squad. Women whom you’re not that into, but you date them anyway.

Well, you’ve got to start somewhere at the end of the day. If the girl’s cute and you like talking to her, take her out on a date and see what happens. If you don’t like the date, you can drop her from the practice squad. But again, you’ve got to be social enough and active enough for that to start to happen.

I completely understand the reasoning behind it and why you need to be prepared when that amazing woman shows up in your life. Believe me I do, but there’s something that I can’t seem to reconcile in my head, which is dating women that you’re just not interested in.

Well, if you’re interested in them enough to ask them out on a date, you’re interested in them. Now, if you go out on a date and you’re like, “Well, that really sucked.” Well, you drop them from the practice squad. Again, if you’ve got nothing going on in your social life, I can understand how you kind of painted yourself into a corner here, but it’s not serving you.

No matter how I try to spin it, this damn mindset won’t change.

Well, again, that’s your story right there. “Hey Coach, no matter what I do, I can’t change my mindset, so there’s nothing I can do. I’m like a little Roomba that’s stuck in the corner. Can’t go forward, can’t go back. Can’t go anywhere. Can’t do anything. Can’t make any progress.” Success is making progress in life. Happiness comes from feeling like you’re making progress. And if you’re not doing anything, no wonder you’re not very happy. You think a woman’s going to enjoy going out with you when you’re miserable and lonely?

To me, this is the absolute bane of my dating life, which is non-existent at the moment and has been for almost three years now.

Well, it’s like you’re not even trying. You’re not even in the game. You’re not even in the stadium. You’re like outside the stadium, in the parking lot debating whether or not you should go in.

During those three years I did try to go out with various women, and it just feels like a lie if the chemistry is not there.

Dude, it’s okay to go out on a date if the date doesn’t go well you never go out with her again. But it’s clear you’ve got nothing going on in your personal life. You haven’t been dating at all. Maybe you went out with a couple of girls a few years ago. That you’re never going to be successful with this piss poor level of effort.

If I’m not interested in these women, then how can I sit there and pretend for practice’s sake?

Well, again, I don’t tell you to go out with women that you’re not into. If you like her, if you think she’s cute, she might be fun. Take her on a date and see what happens. You know, my one of my buddies that when we were in the mortgage business, this dude is not a good looking guy. But, man, he had the gift of gab. He had a silver tongue. And it’s like, this dude, every fucking weekend we would see him with a different girl who was just an absolute ten always.

And because he was an account executive, he was constantly going in and out of other mortgage companies and real estate companies. He’s very social person like we were. He’s part of our group. And that’s how he always met these girls. Maybe they’d be the receptionist, or maybe they’d be a loan officer at the company he was going into. It was one badass bitch after another. He dated him for 2 to 4 weeks or whatever.

He didn’t like the connection they had, and then he would move on to somebody else. And after 4 or 5 years of this and just probably getting hundreds of just absolute smoke shows, he married a girl who was very smart, very high IQ, but just average in looks. She was a cool girl, but he had a family and lived happily ever after with her. He didn’t end up with a ten. He ended up with, I would consider a six or a seven, but he really loved her and she really loved him.

And it was the connection which was most important. But you know, that guy was a Jedi Master of the practice squad. And so that was the process. But he was social. You’ve got to be a social person. You’ve got to have prospects for your practice squad because you’re not going to get any practice without prospects.

What am I supposed to do here?

Get off your fucking couch and get off your ass and go participate in humanity.

Force myself to interact with these women anyway in the hopes that I’ll get better with enough repetition for when that perfect ten does appear? Isn’t that disingenuous to the ladies and a terrible chore for me as well? 

Again, this is the story that you’re telling yourself. You’re telling yourself. Well, there’s just nobody I like, so I’m not going to talk to girls in general. It’s like, that’s ridiculous. You’re not even in the game, dude. You’re not even trying. You can read the book 10,000 times. It’s not going to help you if you don’t even talk to girls or go out and be social.

I know women do this all the time and for them it’s second nature to go through multiple guys, but to me it’s not a matter of “I’ll show them I can do that too!” I don’t really care what women do and how they are able to tolerate mediocre dudes just to have them in their orbit for when Mr. Chad Thunder Cock rolls around.

Well, that’s not how women think. If they think a guy is cute, they’re going to give him the benefit of the doubt and see what happens and go out on a date. If the date goes well, they’ll be open to seeing him again. And if it doesn’t, they won’t see him again. It’s pretty simple.

To me it’s always been pretty straightforward – if I’m not fascinated by a girl, then I don’t need to keep her around and waste both of our time.

I agree with that statement. But again, you’ve got to socialize and you’re clearly not doing that.

I can’t sleep with a girl if I don’t want her around the next morning and the morning after that, call me old-fashioned if you will.

I agree with that too. That’s a true statement. Again, you’ve got no prospects. That’s your real problem.

I don’t care how hot a woman may be, if I’m not interested in what she has to say, her personality or the way her mind works, then I’m not going to try to maneuver her into having sex with me just because she’s hot.

Again. The idea is to go out with women that you like, that you think are hot, or at least cute. Definitely sponge worthy. If you guys remember the Seinfeld episode from the 90s.

I’m writing this email because obviously I’m not happy where I am right now.

Yeah, that’s obvious to everybody listening to this.

Which is single as fuck with no real leads and quite sexually frustrated if I am to be honest.

Well, it’s because you’re not a social guy. You’re not meeting anybody. How could you possibly develop a practice squad when you’re barely even open your mouth?

Here I am, recognizing that what I’m doing isn’t working for me.

You’re not doing anything. You’re doing zero. You’ve got to participate in your own rescue, my man.

And yet I’m still unable to sort of. Lower my expectations and go for these “ordinary” women.

So you’ve created a belief that says, “Ordinary women are all that’s out there, so therefore, I’m not going to talk to anybody,” that is just fucking stupid. That’s stupid. And it’s being lazy. And it’s not the hallmark of a competent man.

And yes, before this three-year period I was with my ex-girlfriend which ticked all of my boxes, but I decided to end it because our values and long-term goals did not align which led to a lot of conflicts. I have yet to find a woman like that since then. Not even remotely close, and I’m starting to doubt that I ever will.

Well you won’t if all you’re doing is sitting on your couch and not socializing. Again, like I told you, when I was younger, I was out every opportunity I get. Basically my house I would only go there to sleep or maybe to entertain. Other than that, we were out doing something. I was rocking out with my cock out, having a good time.

Before you call me an idiot for saying that, which I probably am nonetheless. I am very active in the dance community, and I often travel to all sorts of festivals, meeting women and sometimes even sharing apartments with some of them because it’s cheaper.

Well, that’s like me saying when I was in the real estate business, “The only way I meet women is at a real estate or a mortgage trade show. And that’s it.” That’s one social activity. You should have like dozens of social activities. You should have lots of friends and coworkers and people that you hang out with. You’ve got to be a social person, man.

It would be very easy to get a quick release here and there if I wanted to, but that’s the thing. I don’t. I haven’t met a single woman who intrigues and fascinates me the way my ex did. I’ve heard the common advice of “you need to chill and stop taking things so serious” over a million times, but how do I actually do that if that’s what I actually need to do at all? What is your take on this? Your advice would be great Coach.

Love and respect,

Bob

Well Bob, you’ve got to get off your ass. If you’re not working, you better not be at home. You better be out doing something. Even if you’re just taking yourself to lunch or to dinner, go someplace, which is a cool place to hang out and eat and drink or whatever. You don’t have to be drink alcohol. You can drink tea, you can drink coffee. Just go where cool people hang out and socialize. If you if you love boating, join a yacht club. If you love golf, join a golf club.

If you love hunting, join a hunting club. If you’re into rock climbing, go to a rock climbing club. If you love working out and physical fitness is your thing, go to Pilates classes, go Yoga classes, go to an affluent area so you can meet high IQ women. If you go into a shitty part of town, what are you going to meet? Probably more ratchet type of women at those kinds of things that are going to be total screwballs. So you’ve got to think about that. You’re like a fisherman, so go where the fish are. If you’re not working, you should not be at home.

And so for the next 30 days when you’re not working, you need to be going somewhere socially. Whether it’s a cool restaurant, a cool bar, a cool place to hang out by the water or the mountains or whatever it happens to be, where are beautiful women hanging out that are doing the kinds of things that you enjoy doing, and go out there and socialize with them and take some of your friends, take some of your family, get outside of your house because that’s how you will meet somebody amazing.

Again, you’re not going to meet an amazing girl sitting on your couch feeling sorry for yourself, which kind of sounds like you’re a recluse and you don’t ever leave your home when you’re not working. And that’s not good and it’s not healthy. You’ve got to mingle with other humans.

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