How to refocus your life on the right priorities, so you can become and feel more fulfilled, purposeful, content, peaceful, relaxed, happy and successful.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who is a teacher who has a passion for drawing and wants to know what he should focus on, so he can devote more of his life to his passions. The second email is a success story from a doctor in his fifties who has read my book over twenty times. After having given up on women, judging them to be too psycho for anything other than just sex, he is now in the best relationship he has ever had with a woman who is easy going and easy to be with. His whole life, he worked too much and was a slave to making money. He now has his pilot’s license, hired another doctor to reduce his workload and says things are going so well in his life, that it simply cannot get any better than it is, because it’s so awesome and fulfilling now. He took what he learned from my book, website and videos and completely reorganized his life priorities to suit his passions and enjoyment of his life. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the bodies of their emails:
First Viewer’s Email:
The magic that happens when you shift your attitude is phenomenal. (One of my favorite Wayne Dyer quotes he used to say is, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” In other words, your brain focuses on things that once before, it never considered.) Since getting dumped one month ago, I’ve studied your material, and my attitude shift, which kicked in three weeks after getting dumped, seemed to bring the women out of the woodwork. I met a gorgeous German girl on a mountain here in Quito and hooked up for two days. I did the, “Hey this conversation looks like it will take some time, let’s meet up for coffee tomorrow.” (It’s just going about your daily life, living it and enjoying it with your friends and family, not making women something that you’re trying to accomplish, achieve or conquer. It’s just something that is a side benefit of being really happy and really enjoying your life. People who are happy tend to take better care of themselves, they tend to have a positive, optimistic outlook on life, and things seem to fall into place, because they’re taking action and doing the little things. And women can pick up on that. Guys that are struggling, who are not happy in their careers and not happy in their lives, it’s written all over your face. It’s in your vibe. It’s in your conversation. Women will pick up on it and will not be attracted to you, even though initially they thought you were handsome enough. But it’s all about the vibe. When you’re happy, you’re successful and you feel good, everybody notices that.) “I’m flying out tomorrow, but I’ll change the flight,” she said. Score. I invited a local girl I was dating over for dinner. “Yes,” she said, “but you have to cook.” No, “We = nosotros,” she kept pushing, but I didn’t budge. She’s on chopping vegetables duty, which she’s agreed to. All kinds of other girls I know on Facebook started coming out of the woodwork too. (It’s not all about focusing on what you do or how you interact with women. It’s really about you. It’s about putting yourself into a mindset, into a vibration where you’re focused on creating a good life for yourself that pleases you, that makes you happy. When you have a life that’s pleasing to you, obviously, women are going to notice that.)
I think your work is fabulous, and I think you could do some excellent stuff with career help for people. (I’d say, with about half of my clients, I’m doing some kind of business coaching, career coaching or time management, and the other 50% are people that are in various stages of trying to get an ex back or just wanting to improve their skills in interactions with women in general.)
1. How do I get that magic shift in attitude regarding work? I’ve long been an EFL teacher, and whilst I can travel the world, I want to do something I really love and make money at it. (I’ve done several videos on how to discover your purpose over the years. Your purpose tends to evolve over life. For me personally, it was a journey. My construction management degree really helped me become good at critical thinking, and taking things apart and putting them back together. You really can’t see how things you are experiencing right now are going to help you in the future. In your case, you’re a teacher. What is coaching? As the great Vince Lombardi once said, “Coaching is teaching,” and what I do is as a coach is just teach the life fundamentals I’ve learned in business and life to help you negotiate to get the things you want in life. Since you like to learn knowledge and then go out in teach it, it is obviously innate in you and a good gift to have in your future. Your drawing is really fucking good, and you definitely have a talent there. If you look at anything in life, all of us are in business to market our gifts, our skills and our talents to other people. When your work becomes good enough to where people will see it and appreciate it, they’ll buy it. There are lots of people out there who are great at drawing, but if you’re not a good negotiator, you won’t get a good cut of the action. If you’re interested in learning from a great negotiation story, look at my article and video, “How To Go From $0 To $40 Million In Under 5 Years.” In your case, you want to draw, and obviously you have the skills because you’ve been developing. Now what you really need to do is set up a website as way to showcase your work, and think about how you’d like to sell them. As Maya Angelou said, “You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.” You’ve got to come up with a way to market yourself. A Facebook advertising campaign is one of the best ways you can sell something like that or at least build an audience, get an email subscriber list going, and whenever you do something new, put it out there. Offer to do custom work or a free consultation. I would definitely start marketing. Look around and see what other successful artists have done to market themselves. Find the most successful ones out there and see what they’re doing. How do you communicate to the world what your value proposition is, to where people say, this really has value.)
2. Museums — I’m currently teaching online and living in Latin America. I’m studying web development, which is useful and can pay well, but I don’t jive with it. (I know a lot about web development, so I can direct the people that work for me, so my website works the way it’s supposed to, but I don’t want to design my website day in an day out. When I first started, I was doing that, but as I became more successful, I started hiring people where that was their core competency. The guys that work for me now fucking love web design. They are really passionate about it, and those are the kind of people you want to hire to work for you and make it really function to showcase your work. Understanding web design and how the internet works is an essential skill you’re going to need, so you definitely want to do this on the side while you’re still teaching. You have a lot of things that you’ve naturally gravitated towards, putting all of that into the right kind of package to offer to the world in a way where they can go, “Wow, those are really good!” Because, quite frankly, when I saw your email I thought, those are really good drawings. You’ve definitely got talent, and you should be compensated for it. You definitely have work that’s good enough to sell to people.) I’m supposing you will say keep doing my day job and build up my art career on the side. (Absolutely. First you need to get a website. Your website is like your home base. And create an email list. Always know your downside. When you build a business, you want to build something that has multiple foundations.) That shift in mindset is needed, and any help is appreciated. Sometimes your thoughts and direction in the videos make a big difference; so another video would be great. This is the core driver in my life. The relationships will follow.
Many thanks, I will be donating and I tell all my friends about your work. Even better, girlfriends come to me with their problems, “he wants a relationship after 3 dates,” and I laugh. They all say your work is spot on. (That’s the beauty of what I teach. There’s lots of people out there selling books, but at the end of the day, how many of them let you read their best stuff for free without having to go buy expensive products? If you build something on the internet with enough content, over the course of time, your audience base will continue to grow.)
Second Viewer’s Email:
I do not have a question. I just want to thank you. I don’t know how you reverse-engineered and figured out the fundamentals of life and relationships, but you surely did it. (It was from lots of trial and error, lots of studying, lots of learning and lots of reading. I would read anything that would feed my mind with new information and give me skills, talent, new insight or a way of looking at the world that the average person would not want to spend the time doing. People who are success and goal oriented are going to come home at night and crack open a book, read a website on things they’re interested in, go out into their garage and work on something they’re passionate about, or go to night school to get a degree. Make your time productive.) I bought your book a few years ago, have read it over twenty times, have watched many of your videos and they have literally changed the way I look at life. Are you an alien? How is it that you figured all this out at a young age? There is a “rightness” to it that cannot be denied. (Everything I teach is based on spiritual truths that I’ve learned. The more you apply the things I teach, the more you’ll see life tends to magically line up with that. It’s based on universal truths. It doesn’t matter if you believe them or not.) By the way, I notice that you don’t age in your videos. You look exactly the same over the years. Fountain of youth in Florida? (That is from exercise, juicing, eating healthy, having a fairly stress free life and having toxic people banished from my life.)
I am a 50-year old normal, healthy man and a successful physician in private practice in New York. I made a lot of money, but honestly was not happy. All I did was work, eat, sleep, get ready for the next day, and then work again. (What you will notice is, once you start interacting with a lot of uber wealthy people, a lot of them are fucking miserable.) I made millions of dollars, literally, but I felt like I was on a hamster wheel. I kept pushing myself in my business, would get more successful, but would become more miserable. It made no sense. (I’ve had that experience. What do you do when you’ve achieved all of your goals? You contemplate new ones.) Then I read your book and watched the videos and realized it was my body telling me to change something, and that it was okay to do so, so I did. Prior to that, I thought work was the sole focus in life. I HONESTLY believed that. I fulfilled a childhood dream of becoming a private pilot and bought my own plane. I brought on a young doctor/partner into my practice and now he eagerly handles most of the work, while I go and focus on other things. (That enables you to focus on doing the things you really love.) Now I am looking into starting a seaplane charter business for people who want to fly from NYC to the Hamptons in the summertime. Any reason to get in the air is a good one, but getting paid to do it is even better, even though I don’t need the money. (Your business mind is turning. Who knows, maybe in 10 or 15 years you’ll have a booming airline, and you’ll just fly occasionally for fun. That’s the natural evolution of focusing on what you love.)
Another thing is, while I have never really had the problems with women many of your clients do, I just figured all women were psycho, so I cut them out of my life for anything other than the indoor Olympics, as you put it. But after reading your book, I used your methods to filter them and be more selective, and damn if it didn’t work!!! You are a genius. (As Einstein said, “I have no special gift. I am only passionately curious.” Look at Andrew Carnegie, who at his time was one of the richest men in the world. His autobiography, “The Autobiography of Andrew Carnegie and the Gospel of Wealth” is a fantastic read. Autobiographies are great, because you can see someone’s whole life, and instead of reinventing the wheel, look for those same kinds of opportunities.) I have had several truly loving relationships, and am seeing a woman now I absolutely adore and who reciprocates. She is genuine and so am I. No work and no pressure, just the enjoyment of each other. Life simply could not get any better now. (You knew what to look for because of all of the trial and error you learned from me. In a matter of 7 1/2 hours of listening to my audiobook, you can absorb my lifetime of struggles, success and victories without having to go through the decades of figuring it out with trial and error. In a matter of hours, weeks or months, you can replicate the same kind of success that took me decades to make. When you think about our lives and how short they are, when you study other people that have succeeded, you gain their knowledge. That makes you more efficient in your own life. You can build on the success of other people.)
You give meaning to the word “coach.” Thank you for what you do and how well you articulate it, coach. (I appreciate that. I’m honored. It makes it all worth while.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The purpose of your life is to enjoy it. To make your life an act of love and passion in every area that is important to you. To love your life’s work so much, that you can’t imagine doing anything else, because it’s so fulfilling and fun. To love your friends, family and lovers so much, that you feel like you are lacking nothing and already have the best. When you have high standards for every area of your life, you won’t settle for less than what you deserve and find yourself asking “what if” questions. Having high standards leads to peace and contentment with your choices.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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