The Second Date

How to handle second dates, when to bring up a second date and what you should do if you are out on a first date and the woman asks you out for a second date.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who recently went out on two separate dates with two different women who were each twenty-four years old. He is twenty-five. One of the women he was out with asked him out for a second date while he was still on the first date with her.

This left him confused and unsure of how to respond as he was a little too dogmatic about what my book teaches, and he obviously was not very familiar with its fundamentals. He asks me how he should respond to such advances in the future, and shares that he told her “maybe” instead of actually making the second date.

Hey Coach,

I’ve recently gone out on two separate dates, thanks to your book and videos. (That’s good. You have options and choices. You know what’s best for you.) I am 25 years old, and both of my dates were 24. Each time, during the date, the woman has essentially asked me out on another date. (This is great. You’re a good dater.) In your book, it states to never bring up a second date while on the first date, so following your advice to the best of my understanding, I simply replied with, “maybe,” followed by a James Bond grin. (This tells me you don’t know my book. The idea is that, once the woman starts asking, it has become her idea and she is the one pursuing you. If she’s chasing you, she won’t dump you. If you’re available, say “sure,” and make a definite date.) What are your thoughts on when women ask YOU out on dates, and how would you respond to such advances?

P.S. One woman asked me out for the weekend when our date was on a Wednesday. It was our first date, and to accept her offer meant breaking your initial one date per week limit. (No it doesn’t. You don’t know the book. You need to read my book 10-15 times so you understand the fundamentals. If you’re the pursuer and the one calling for a date, then yes, you’re only going to call once per week. If the woman is the pursuer, she is doing the choosing and all you have to do is show up and be awesome.)

A Passionate Student,

Bob

“As Adam Carolla once said, “When a woman likes you, the doors start opening and all you have to do is walk through them. If the doors start closing in your face, then you walk away.” When a man starts dating and courting a woman, he should ask her out only once per week. Usually by the second or third date, if he has handled himself well on their prior dates, she will start contacting him or even asking him out. From that point forward, seeing each other more than once per week will be her idea since she reached out to him. If men follow this simple principle, they will never have to worry about pursuing too much, coming off as needy or desperate or being rejected.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne