When to use the takeaway to check a difficult and disrespectful woman’s behavior so she respects you.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who shares a short success story on how he used the takeaway strategy from my book 3% Man, to change a woman’s behavior from aloof, flakey and disrespectful to a complete attitude change.
He had a good 1st date, but after that she would wait days to reply to him. Then he used the takeaway in a simple but smooth way that caused her to back up, apologize and respect and highly value his time. The takeaway is a cheat code for all types of personal and professional negotiations to get what you want instead of getting jerked around. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
It’s really great to use this in business and negotiation. The idea behind the takeaway is when you suspect somebody is wasting your time or they’re really not that into you, you’re trying to make it easy for them to flake out and disappear from your life forever, or to follow through on their plans and their commitments to you. If somebody’s jerking you around, whether they’re doing it on purpose, or maybe you did something that communicated it was OK to waste your time or to jerk you around, the takeaway is the gut check and the vibe check that makes them be respectful, appreciate your time, not jerk you around and submit to what it is that you want.
This particular email is a real short one, but it’s a success story of of a guy, how he went out, had a date, and she seemed to be very enthusiastic prior to setting up the date. She responded to his messages right away, but after the date she starts waiting 24 hours to reply, sometimes two days to reply. Obviously, he’s being a good student and he’s like, “This is bullshit. I don’t like the way this girl is treating me.” So he asked her out on a date and she doesn’t reply for two days and go, “Yeah, let’s do it.” Just a real short response.
So he sends a response back doing the take away, basically saying that the vibe is off. I love how this guy worded it. Such a beautifully smooth way to do things. He’s not mad, he’s not butt-hurt. He just matter of fact. The way he says it and the way he communicates it shows that he values his time. Also, he recognizes that she’s not valuing it and not appreciating it. Therefore, he’s going to pass with any future interactions with her. Even though he asked her out, she responds two days later, she’s down to go out again. Then he does the take away because she waited two days, which is rude.
Women will treat you however you teach them to. This is super important in the beginning that when you’re seeing this kind of behavior that you just knock it off. You could use the same thing if you’re negotiating. Say you’re in the process of talking to other employers about taking a new job, and you’ve got two or three other employers that are vying for your time. If you’ve got one that you really want to work for, but they’re kind of taking you for granted, it’s like the take away or just letting them know that you’ve got other companies that are making you employment offers and you’d like whatever their best offer is going to be, you’d like to have it, so you can sit down with your wife, your girlfriend or your family and decide what’s best for you guys.
I want to thank you for instilling the mindset in me that I am a high value man whose time is valuable. I took this girl out to ice cream, had good conversation and chemistry and ended up at my place kissing and fooling around a little on the first date.
So far, so good.
Afterwards, she didn’t reach out after the date, so I called her three days later, and left a message asking when she’s free. She waited a day and said, “I’m free some days after work.”
So she didn’t really give him specifics. She gives him a vague kind of answer.
This is one of the ways that women kind of jerk guys around. It just shows for whatever reason, she’s not as into this guy as he would like her to be. Maybe she’s playing hard to get. Maybe she’s taking him for granted. Maybe there’s another guy that’s a little further along and is dating and courting her. So she’s just not valuing you as much.
Now, a high volume man is not going to sit around and just put up with this crap, because there’s lots of other people that would rather spend time with them.
So I said, “How about Sunday?” To this she waited nearly two whole days…
Which is extremely rude. You should always respond within 24 hours.
…And said, “Yea sounds great,” whereas before the first date she would reply instantly and enthusiastically.
So this is where he sends the takeaway. This is so beautiful, the way he words it.
So I texted her and said, “Hey I’d really like to see you again, but I like spending my time with people who are excited to see me, and I’m not getting that vibe. Take care :)”
When you say “Take care,” to somebody, that means, “Have a nice life.” Women definitely know what “Take care,” means. So that’s what he told her. He just said, “Hey, I’m not getting that vibe that you’re excited to see me, take care.” He lets her know. He says, “Hey, I’d really like to see you again, but I like spending my time with people who are excited to see me and I’m not getting that vibe.” That’s perfect. She waited two whole days. When he first started talking to her, she replied instantly. Now she waits two days. It shows she’s like, “Eh.” So why would you be like, “Oh, I can’t wait to spend time with this girl.”
This is so beautiful. This is like the gut check. This is like the shitter got off the pot. You know, “Give me a good reason to want to spend more of my time with you, or you can flake out and disappear from my life forever, and I don’t care.” He says, “Take care.” Which is, “Have a nice life.” He communicates he really would like to see her. In other words, he says, “I have enthusiasm to see you, but you don’t seem to be having much enthusiasm for me, and I’m just not excited. I’m not down with that.”
She then sent a paragraph apologizing and said she really did want to see me, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
So she goes from giving a three word response to writing a whole paragraph. This is why it’s so powerful. So she’s jerking around or thinks she can get away with it. Maybe she’s just really beautiful and has lots and lots of dudes after her, and you’re the only guy that would ever say anything like this to her. So you instantly go from the bottom of the totem pole to the top of the totem pole. You go from the back of the line to walking right through the velvet ropes.
We had a great second date, and then she asked me out for a third date which ended up with me spending the night at her dorm room.
You’re naughty! I’m going to tell your mom.
She was a really amazing and pretty girl, and I guarantee if I hadn’t stood up to her I wouldn’t have gotten the second date.
You’re right about that, bro.
Thanks so much for all you do!
See, it’s just something simple like that. He wasn’t a dick about it. He was just very matter of fact, “Hey, I really like spending time with people who are excited to see me, and I’m not getting that vibe. Take care. Have a nice life.” It’s so short. Sweet to the point. Just like James Bond, “You’re either in or you’re out. You’re either excited to see me or you’re not.” I love it. Good job dude. Thanks for sharing. It’s a great short email.
This is the type of thing you can use in your personal life. Any time somebody is wasting your time or jerking you around, or maybe you’re in a business negotiation and the guy is taking longer to get back to you and you got multiple people, multiple deals potentially, that you’re negotiating with, and you say something like that to them, it’s like, “Hey, it just seems we’re kind of far apart. I really want to do a deal with somebody that’s really excited to go into business with me or to do business with me, and I’m just not getting that vibe. So take care. Good luck in your negotiations. Take care. Good luck in your search for a future employee or whatever.”
If you were interviewing for a job, whatever happens to be. It’s amazing how well it works, not only with women that you’re dating, but in business, in negotiations, especially sales. If someone’s being an ass, you do the take away and then you’ll really see how much they really wanted the deal. That often is the difference between somebody that’s just like, “Eh,” to “Whoa!” It completely changes their perception of you, because quite frankly, most people are not willing to do this or are too scared to do it. They don’t have the self esteem to pull it off. Thanks for sharing, dude. Good email.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.
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