Why the toxic red pill is messing men and their success with women up.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who shares how his success with women and his attitude towards them turned negative and toxic the more he consumed red pill content. He says he became angry and condescending towards women and started treating them badly.
He got into my work and also read books I recommended on my website, and now he has recovered his positive, charming and authentic self. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
In the last year or so, I’ve been talking about this more and more lately. I’ve been getting tons of emails similar to this guy’s, and I’ve been hearing it in a lot of the phone sessions that I’m doing. People come, they find out about my work, they start doing well with it. They get into the red pill community, because basically anything that’s rage bait, or a reason to get angry, or especially a large group of people that have a problem, that enables them to absolve themselves from the problem and say, “Oh, it’s that group of people over there,” or “It’s that or this, not me.” Those videos do great.
Even when I do videos, if I’m talking trash about somebody or some thing, conflict and controversy sells and people will watch it. And so, what happens is there’s just countless red pill people or people claiming to be red pill out there that have these channels with enormous followings, and all they do is complain about women. And the guys that get involved in it, they become angry, they become condescending, they become pissed off. You can see it in the comments. Especially with the girls that I work with, whenever we do videos, you can tell the red pill guys because they’re angry, they’re bitter, they’re looking for any reason to belittle, demean and condescend to any of the women that I have on my podcast.
You can tell these guys aren’t happy. They’re not getting the success that they want, and they’re puffing their egos up by belittling women, which is what they really want. They attack what they are unable to have. And so, this email, I’ve just seen this so many times now, and as I’ve said in previous videos, it’s like they don’t really have any solutions. They’re not helping guys have better relationships, or get along better with women, or understand them better and able to communicate with them in effective ways so they can get what they want. And this guy’s experience is entertaining content, but at the end of the day, it’s not adding value to your life,
It’s kind of like when you look at what’s become of the Instagram feed. I go on there now, and I hardly see the people that I follow or that I signed up for, and I see all this the all this stuff from accounts that I don’t follow. It’s stuff I had no interest in. But the videos are interesting, and the next thing you know an hour has gone by and you you’re like, “Alright, just one more video… alright, just one more,” and you have a hard time putting the device down. That’s how powerful the AI is. It serves you things, it stimulates your brain and keeps you engaged. And it’s same kind of thing you see with this red pill stuff. It gets people angry, gets them upset, keeps them engaged, but it’s not really doing anything to help them or to better their lives.
So, you’ve got to choose very carefully what you allow into your mind. Whatever you focus on is going to expand. So if you’re hanging out and consuming content from a lot of miserable, unhappy dudes that are pissed off at women, that hate women, they’re angry about women, you’re going to become just like them. Instead of guys that love women, that enjoy women, that enjoy feminine energy and the way they are, and the beautiful things that women bring to our world. “Beauty needs a witness,” as Zan Perrion says. That’s one of the one of the best quotes I’ve ever heard from a guy to describe how you should look at women. Beauty needs a witness, not because you need something from them. It’s just like acknowledging that the sky is blue.
First of all, thank you for your work! It has helped me A LOT!
A couple of months ago, I dove deep into the toxic red pill. I consumed lots of information about it from the most famous YouTube channels, books, and “red pill gurus”. I noticed that the more red pill content I consumed, the angrier and resentful I became towards women.
We did a few videos with Chunky, and a couple of years ago, actually back when he was a senior year in high school, he had gone through a breakup with his girlfriend and got into the red pill content. He became very angry and very bitter towards women, and women just stayed away from him. And Chunky’s one of the nicest dudes around. Girls love Chunky. And so, if you could take a guy that’s friendly, and cool, and kind, and everybody loves, he starts consuming this stuff and then he just starts repelling women, obviously, it’s the content.
Not only that, but I objectified them more and thought that the only thing valuable in a woman was her beauty and youth. Even though they both are valuable, they are just part of an overall set of characteristics that make a woman truly valuable. I became so obsessed with the red pill that I didn’t want to date women who were older than 23-24 years old.
Yeah, these guys are obsessed with the 22, 23 year old virgin, perfect woman that hasn’t been defiled or corrupted by society or feminism. She’ll be naive, you can just lock her in your basement, and she’ll be yours forever.
Sadly, the women I dated were not interesting enough and I quickly became bored with them. Sure, this doesn’t mean that young women are uninteresting, but it’s unfair to eliminate all women older than 24 because their sex appeal is on decline. Ugh, just writing this makes me cringe. What a superficial, immature, and soulless way of thinking. I also became obsessed with casual sex…
Yeah, you see a lot of them in the comments, “Just pump and dump!” Even though those guys ain’t pumping and dumping nothing except Rosey Palms and her five friends.
…and completely forgot about the emotional intimacy and connection that actually makes relationships satisfying.
Yeah, if you’re just having sex with somebody you don’t feel anything for, it’s like glorified masturbation. But when you’re with a woman you really like, you love listening to her, you enjoy her company, you enjoy being around her. Yeah, the sex is great, but when you enjoy the human being and she enjoys you, that’s what makes life magical.
I became way TOO angry with every rejection I got. Even though I’m attractive, take care of myself, and overall have no trouble attracting women, I get rejected from time to time. Instead of seeing rejection as an incompatibility, I saw it as “female nature” and blamed women for being hypergamous, materialistic, and caring only about “alpha seed.”
It’s funny when I see these terms. They’re in my comments all day long, these guys. And I’m sure there’ll be a bunch of them in the comments going, “Corey, you don’t understand red pill!” It’s like, whatever.
As a result, I started treating women badly, in a condescending manner. Fuck, what a looser way of thinking and being.
Yeah, that’s what the girls think when they see these comments as well. They’re like, “What a bunch of negative, unhappy dudes.” Angry guys make women feel unsafe. Wherever we are in the world, as men, all the women that are around us, they’re under our protection. It’s our job to be their protector, to provide a container of masculinity, so they can flourish in their feminine energy. But when you go around angry and pissed off, you just scare them all away. They’re not going to feel safe around you.
Fortunately, I became aware that the red pill was damaging my self-esteem, my relationships, and my view of women and I took corrective action. I immersed myself in your book and in Mark Manson’s “Models,” (which I found on your recommended products tab).
Yeah, Mark Manson’s “Models” book is a really good book that you should definitely read and check out.
Both books helped me recover my authentic self who thinks that women are amazing, loving, feminine, and are capable of having awesome relationships with healthy men like us.
You attract how you act. If you’re angry, and you’re bitter and pissed off, you’re going to draw women into your life that are going to help you become even more angry and pissed off. Whatever you focus on expands in life.
Fuck the red pill. It’s creating an entire generation of men who think that women are the problem.
Yeah, it’s much easier to blame other people. As the late, great Don Shula said, “Strong men blame themselves. Weak men blame others.”
In fact, what are the odds of all women being the problem vs. the red pillers being the problem? The answer is obvious.
Sure, some women are actually a problem. But it’s OUR RESPONSIBILITY to filter the women who will make us happy from the ones who won’t.
Yeah, if you keep attracting the same kind of woman over and over, or you keep attracting the same kind of friends, or people, or business partners over and over, the problem is you.
I’m glad I found your work. You are doing great work!
Well, I appreciate the email, and congratulations to you for getting out of that negative tailspin. And I think it’s good to see what’s out there and learn, but these guys, I really don’t see them having solutions. They don’t talk about solutions, they talk about “awareness” or women’s “hypergamous nature.” “Hypergamy doesn’t care!” It’s like, how is this stuff going to help you? How is it going to help you determine whether or not the girl is interested in you or not, or whether she’s a high character person or a low character person? There’s none of that information out there.
All it is is some autistic nonsense that you focus on, looking for reasons to be pissed off and bitter towards women. They don’t have any solutions. They even tell you that they don’t have solutions. They’re just giving you the “awareness” nonsense.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur