In this video coaching newsletter I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who had a first date, but never got past kissing the woman he was out with. It now has resorted to messaging, letter writing and pointless chit chatting back and forth. He asks what he can do to turn things around and if I think he still has a chance with her. The second email is from a viewer whom I have been coaching for several months. He went from being hung up on his ex and getting nowhere in his effort to re-attract her, to being able to seduce a woman on the first date. He shares a success story of a first date he went on recently, and how he masterfully set the date, caused her to blow off her friends who she had plans with afterwards, and later came back to his place where he was able to seal the deal and seduce her successfully. These two emails are a great contrast of what not to do to be successful, and how effortless and easy the process of seduction can be when you properly apply what my book teaches.
What’s up Corey,
I need some help man. I went out a date with this girl at work, and I felt like it went well. We flirted and got closer, but when I went in for a kiss at the end, she pulled back. (That usually means she’s either not romantically interested, or she’s a structured woman who follows dating rules.) The next day, she said she had fun, and wanted to go out again. She was holding my hand and getting really close to me, but she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship. (That tells me you were focused on a relationship and locking her down to a commitment. You should just create an opportunity for sex to happen by setting a date the next time she reaches out.) The thing is, she kept texting me, wanting to hold my hand, and all that stuff. At one point, she would write me letters. I started to write her back, but then she stopped. (She got bored and lost interest.) She said she really liked when I wrote her though. Then, when I would not write her, she would get pissed like, “why didn’t you?” Obviously, it didn’t work as we have not progressed, and I feel I fucked this up. I do like her. I’m wondering what I need to do, and if I still have a chance, because she is still around a lot, but it’s obviously not working for me. (Wait to hear from her, and when you do, assume she wants to see you, and set a definite date. She’ll either bring up getting together, or she’ll stop contacting you.)
My response to the first viewers email:
It does not sound like she was really into you. As I discuss in my book, when you go for the kiss, a woman will kiss you back if she is interested. If she is not, she will turn her head and give you the cheek, or pull back. You need to read my book 10-15 times because it sounds like you are making typical rookie mistakes, and don’t really know hat you are doing. The fact she said she is not ready for a relationship tells me that you are already focused on locking her down to a commitment, and making her your girlfriend. As I discuss in my book, it is a man’s job to create an opportunity for sex to happen. Hang out, have fun and hook up. Let the woman bring up the topic of being exclusive. The phone is for setting dates. All this texting and letter writing you are doing is BS and a waste of your time. I would do nothing. Do not contact her again. If she contacts you, assume she wants to see you, and try to make a definite date. Let her do 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing from now on. Only ask her out on two consecutive separate occasions when she contacts you first. If she turns you down both times, then stop asking. From that point forward, every time she contacts you, keep your text/message exchanges to 2-3 replies from you max, and any phone calls to 2-3 minutes max. Always end them by saying or texting/messaging this, “Hey, it was great hearing from you, but I’ve got to run. Keep in touch.” She’ll either bring up getting together, (if she does, set a definite date and then get off the phone), or stop contacting you for good. You should be meeting and dating other women, and applying what I teach in my book, so you can improve your skills.
2nd viewers email to me:
Hi Coach. How are you? Thanks again for another answer to my previous e-mails. Your reply has been honest and straight to the point, just what I needed. I moved on from the girl I was hung up on, and even from a frustrated date arrangement with another girl. The girl that stood me up, in your video newsletter, “”She Stood Me Up,” came back to me initiating contact. After a few messages, I decided not to go out with her. Your email made me understand that I don’t need to fall for just any woman, and that I should also avoid girls that don’t show a high level of interest.
After a difficult week, I read your book once again, time number 7 now, and I’m getting there! I realized, again, a few areas where I fucked up in recent relationships. I’ve been lucky lately, and it has been easy to meet new ladies. (That’s what happens when you practice. Repetition is the mother of skill. Asking a woman out is like a compatibility test. If you’re not compatible with her, she’ll put up resistance.) In fact, I met another through a social media platform. After chatting and exchanging messages for a couple of days, she actually asked me out! We went on a date, and were chatting and having a couple of drinks. She initially said that she had plans with friends after our date, but then texted telling them that she couldn’t make it for drinks with them, which was a good sign. (She had much more interest in hooking up with you than hanging out with her friends.) She was doing 80% of the talking, and after another 30 minutes of bantering, I knew it was time to go for the kiss! She reciprocated, and then told me, “Well, I didn’t expect that would happen so fast.” Yeah, sure! Then, I suggested we go to another place, and then to a restaurant. (When you a take a woman to three different places, she will feel like you’ve been on three dates.) She was happy and comfortable that I was taking the lead. We basically went to 3 different places. As you say, go out, have fun, and…then we came to my place!
I wish I’d learned a lot of these things earlier. I’m still young, and it is never too late to keep improving, as per the Tony Robbins quote you always mention. In the meantime, other girls started reaching out. I will keep choosing, trusting my instinct, and as you mention, will always have more fun with those who show a high level of interest.
Thank you, Merry Christmas, and best wishes for 2015!
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Women want to be in a love story. There is a reason why women all over the world are obsessed with romance novels, which lead to them becoming best sellers. Women love mystery and serendipitous events, like meeting a handsome stranger unexpectedly where there is strong sexual chemistry, shared values, and common interests. Every woman deep down knows that the right guy for her will sweep her off her feet and know exactly what to do to make her fall in love with him. In order for a man to successfully seduce the women he meets whom he shares a mutual attraction and chemistry with, he must create a simple love story that begins the moment they meet for the first time. That means being direct, decisive, and making a definite date to get together in the evening. The ultimate date should be in a setting that facilitates great conversation, physical contact, and minimal to no interference from other people. That is why dinner dates are such a powerful first date. Having 2 or 3 other fun places such as a wine bar, bowling, shooting pool, throwing darts, miniature golf, etc., to go to afterwards, will facilitate physical interaction that escalates and culminates in sex at his place or her place at the end of the evening.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne