What it means and why you should avoid women who act like a wacky religious zealot & Jack-In-The-Box.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a guy who came across a truly wacky religious zealot who also acts like a nutty Jack-In-The-Box. This email illustrates the importance of vetting women properly and disengaging from those who act like fruit loops with no emotional self control or self awareness. She was apparently a devout Catholic but from this email she sounds like the type of wacky woman who would drive any man crazy and make his life a living hell. You won’t believe some of the things this woman said and did. It’s an extreme case of loopy behavior that is so absurd, it’s hilarious. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be The Wacky Female Religious Zealot Who Acts Like A Jack-In-The-Box.
Well, this email is kind of a doozy. This poor guy, he met this girl online. And those of you familiar with 3%, Man, a big part of what the book does is it brings out the best and the best girls, and the worst and the worst goals right away. And this email is just a classic case of the importance; it illustrates the importance of vetting your dating prospects, especially if you’re a guy dating women. And I mean, as I was reading, I mean, I have to admit that I was reading this, I laughed my ass off out loud a couple of times.
It’s just some of the absurd things that this particular woman did. And this guy, she lives like another part of the country from where this this guy lives. And so, they hadn’t even met. They were just starting to talk on the phone and kind of get to know each other, feel each other out for a little bit. And so, when you’re trying to pick somebody to be in a long-term relationship, or even just casual friends with benefits.
First and foremost, you want somebody that’s easygoing, easy to get along with, good attitude, good natured, they don’t get butt-hurt easily because women have low self-esteem, when you tease them, or you mess with them a little bit instead of joking around and laughing.
Especially if she grew up with older brothers, they were always teasing her and messing with her. She’s going to get pissed off and butt-hurt and upset and sometimes mad and angry at you. And I mean, just like they haven’t even met yet. They haven’t even gone on a date. And just the things this girl says and does is just like, wow, these women are out there.
And so, these are the kinds of things; and because he’s new to my work, at the end, he’s like, “Hey, what could I have done differently?” As if you’re going to be able to fix this girl. I mean, because the whole idea is the book is to help you find a good quality woman and weed out the whack jobs and the lunatics, like this particular woman this guy was talking to.
She’s obviously got a lot of issues and you’re not going to want to date somebody like this, but we’ve got to go through it because it’s I mean, number one, it’s Monday; it’s kind of funny and hilarious because some of the things are so absurd that she said, and it’s just this is what you avoid. Easygoing, easy to get along with, communicates like an adult, mostly calm. Obviously, women are emotional, but somebody that’s abusive, and I mean, they haven’t even met.
And she’s like berating this guy and giving him a hard time. And you’re just like “Oooof,” can you imagine even being on a date with her? And I read I just wonder, like she’s a supposedly a devout Catholic, and I’m thinking maybe she’s like a far left, devout Catholic because like some of her behavior, you think maybe she got a little bit of the feminism virus.
I’ve been following your work and started reading your book. I know I haven’t figured it all out yet. So I was wondering if you could give me some advice about a recent dating experience I had. Thank you in advance.
Well, thanks for writing in. And quite frankly, it’s like the things that this girl did were some of them were just so absurd. I couldn’t help but laugh. And so, I appreciate that. But it’s a good email to share because other guys seeing this, it’s like this is not the kind of behavior that you can rationalize or justify or explain away or just say, “Oh, she had a bad day.” He’s like, “No, she’s kind of a lunatic.” And some of the things she says at the end you go, No wonder you haven’t met anybody.
I joined a dating site and talked to a woman who was a devout Catholic and lived in another part of the country. We exchanged phone numbers and she encouraged me to text her the following night.
I mean, how many times have you met a girl? And she said she’ll call you tomorrow. I’ll call you later. Or whatever happens to be. And then she doesn’t do it. You don’t get perturbed, you don’t butt-hurt over that. You don’t get upset. You’re just that’s women are like that. And often times they do it to see how the guy reacts because typically guys don’t react too well. When a woman says one thing and does another, they upset, and they get angry.
And masculinity is calm. So, you want somebody who’s calm and feminine energy is chaos, but you don’t want a lunatic. I mean, everybody should be on their best behavior when you first meet and like when you haven’t even met somebody in person, you just start acting wacky and berating them and controlling. It’s like, whoa, man.
At first, it seemed fine, she sent me videos and pictures of the concert she was at.
You’re like, that’s normal stuff.
On her way home, she asked me if I was “available for a quick phone call” because she wanted to “get a feel for who I was via the phone” but it was after midnight and I had already gone to bed.
First red flag is incoming.
The next morning, I apologized to her for missing her text.
Keep in mind, it was after midnight when she wanted a quick call.
Later that day, she told me that it seemed like I was “fading” from the conversation.
It was after midnight, by the way.
And it seemed like I wasn’t interested.
So right away, instead of, “Oh, it’s after midnight, he’s probably tired. He’ll get to me the next day.” A woman with a healthy self-esteem and who grew up with plenty of hugs and “I love you’s” from Daddy and Mommy is going to be like, “Oh, yeah, he’ll get to me the next day. It is after midnight after all. Not a big deal.”
She also claimed that if I was really interested in her, I wouldn’t have gone to bed.
Oh, never met in person, just some random person on the other end of a phone line he met on a dating website. “Oh, if you’re really interested, you wouldn’t have gone to bed.” So, she takes it personally so we can surmise from this. Remember, people act consistently with how they view themselves to be. It doesn’t matter whether the view is accurate or not. So, she’s obviously had a lot of rejection, probably missing dad in her life.
And so, she automatically assumes that she’s getting rejected and nobody cares about her, because probably dad wasn’t around to care about her. So that’s her go to. So, she’s not reacting to you. She’s reacting to the trauma, if you will, that she experienced in childhood, the missing father, the missing masculine presence, being abandoned, whatever. And this is not your fault. This is not your problem. This is what her family has caused her.
And so, if you’re trying to date somebody, life is hard enough. You want somebody that’s easygoing, easy to get along with, and right away you’re already dealing with somebody that’s already made all these negative assumptions because of her childhood.
The next day, she texted me that she accepted my apology and we had a long conversation. She asked me about one of my favorite hobbies, CrossFit, and I told her about my CrossFit gym.
Probably told her exactly what Jimmy went to.
That night, she suddenly told me that she never wanted to speak to me again. She found my CrossFit gym’s Instagram page and had liked pictures of women at my gym wearing tight clothing,
So, in other words, he’s liking girls that he knows from his CrossFit gym. If you guys have ever done CrossFit, it’s like you’re really there with a bunch of people and all working out together. And so, it’s really good because I’ve got a friend of mine that owns a CrossFit gym. It’s like it’s good for your, your personal life because you’re all working in together and having a chance to chat.
And so, you’re going to get to know girls just if you go there on a regular basis, you’re going to get to know them. And especially if you’re doing competitions or whatever, it’s like, I mean, at the end of the day, if he’s seeing a hot girl and he likes like whatever, that’s Instagram. But she went there, and she saw all the pages of women that he that he clicked the like button on.
So, what does she assume? She assumes the worst.
And accused me of being lustful.
Well, a pretty girl, hey, if he knows her, we don’t know the relationship. But again, this girl’s, you know, she’s using her Bible to whack him over that “you’re lustful.”
She even sent me screenshots of the images,
Oh, that’s so helpful. Thank you.
Which turned out to be of women at the gym I’ve known for many years.
Like, what was I just saying?
When I tried to explain this to her, she became irate.
Remember, easygoing, easy to get along with, if she’s on her best behavior, and she’s trying to win you over, now all of a sudden, she’s getting irate. Keep in mind, they’ve only talked on the phone, and she lives in another part of the country. They’ve never even gone on a date. She became irate.
She called me a “liar”, a “pig” and “disgusting.”
“You’re a liar. You’re a pig. You’re disgusting. Oh, you misogynist. You must be a Donald Trump supporter. I knew it.”
When I called her “twisted” and questioned what kind of Catholic she was, she told me she was blocking my number but the next day, I got a text from her, apologizing for the “names she called me” but also scolded me for “throwing religion in her face”.
She’s the one saying you’re lustful, you’re a pig.
I replied by telling her to stop rushing to judge me.
Well, it’s like she’s a judgmental jackass. So, what you just got was a microcosm of what it’s like in her family. They just go from zero to a 100 just flying off the handle. Can you imagine? He’s only talking to this girl on the phone. Never even gone out on a date. This girl, definitely, if I was a betting man, I’m in Las Vegas. I’m definitely betting on the fact that there was no dad around, or maybe her dad was a lying, cheating, scumbag or whatever, but Ooof.
The following day, she called and said she didn’t think we were “a match”.
Oh, she had to call and tell him this.
She explained that she didn’t like that I had female friends.
It’s like they work out at the gym together. It’s like you’re going to get to know people.
She believes that men and women shouldn’t be friends because that leads to cheating.
Which that is definitely, and especially if you’re a girl, if it’s a girl and there’s a lot of dudes hanging out as her friend, nine times out of ten, those are the male orbiters hoping to get their shot. So that’s understandable. And so, on top of this, keep in mind she should be trying to win this guy over.
She didn’t find me physically attractive, despite never meeting in person.
Well, she’s obviously seen your pictures and you’re probably fit and in shape. And she’s saying that to tear you down, to make you feel bad about yourself. In other words, remember, no one will ever do or say anything to you that isn’t a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves, in a moment. So, what she’s basically saying is she assumes that she’s not pretty enough or attractive enough compared to the gym girls that you’re liking pictures of.
So, she feels insecure. And so therefore, she says, you’re not physically if you weren’t physically attractive, you would have never matched, and you wouldn’t even be chatting with her. So right off the bat, that’s manipulation. That looks like the kind of thing somebody that’s a narcissist would do. Not good.
She even said she didn’t like the sound of my voice.
But why do you keep calling me then? So, somebody says I don’t like the sound of your voice. I was like, Yeah, that’s why you keep calling me. I was like, Whatever. You love the sound of my voice. That’s why you’re on the phone with me.
When I started talking in a British accent, she added that I joked around too much.
See, dating a woman like this, the kind of thing that can really screw up your self-esteem because it starts, especially if you like the girl. And this kind of shit doesn’t happen right away. Like, say it happens two, three months in and she starts doing that stuff. You start going, wait a minute, that’s what the narcissist does, is they get you to question your reality. That’s where the term gaslighting. It’s like you have your perception of yourself. And this the narcissist basically reshapes your perception of yourself, and then you start doubting yourself and then you start to agree with that person.
And then you start trying to comply with their wishes, which you’re never going to be able to comply your way out of, because there’s always something else you did wrong. Because what’s really going on is they feel so shitty in the inside about themselves, that she’s projecting this onto you and trying to get you to feel just as lousy about yourself as she does. These kinds of women are dangerous to be involved with. They can really screw up your self-esteem and your life, especially if you get into a relationship or have children with them and you live in a blue state. It’s like, Oh my God.
I responded by telling her that this conversation was pretty ridiculous.
It is dude. It’s totally ridiculous and it’s not appropriate. I mean, at this point, it’s like she’s already disqualified. There’s no way you date a girl like you don’t even sleep with a girl like this. You don’t even get together with her in person. You stay the hell away from her. But damn, you can sure have a lot of fun and enjoy a lot of laughs at the absolute absurdity of the shit that comes out of her mouth.
At one point she asked me why I wasn’t upset or trying to talk her out of ending it.
Well, there’s nothing to end. You haven’t met. It’s like you’re not trying to talk me out of ending it. It’s like ending what? We’re just talking on the phone. It’s like we’re not even. You’re in another part of the country. We haven’t even gotten to the point where, I mean, quite frankly, the way you’re behaving, it’s like I wouldn’t even want to meet you with the way you’re acting.
I mean, are you on your meds? I mean, that’s kind of funny, but it’s like, “woof.” But masculinity calm. Why would you try? You never try to keep somebody who doesn’t want to keep you. Especially somebody that’s already losing their shit and you never even met in person.
And I explained that she made her decision and I was accepting it.
Yeah. I was like, hey, easy going, easy to get along with. You can take it or leave it. You’re vetting. You’re trying to find out if this is someone who’s easy going, easy to get along with. You can tell her that. It’s like, well, quite frankly, I want a girl who is easygoing, easy to get along with. And over the last few days since we started chatting, you are the opposite of easygoing easy to get along with.
She then spoke about
This is classic. This is so classic. This is called Zero Self-awareness. You want to know the definition of somebody that has no self-awareness? And she’s just it’s like such a mystery why she can’t find herself a man.
How difficult it’s been for her to find someone since her last relationship ended after she discovered that her boyfriend was cheating on her with multiple women.
So, on top of that, she’s reacting to you in the same way that in other words, she’s reacting to you the same way she reacted to her ex-boyfriend who was cheating on her. And so, she probably stuck around long enough, and he didn’t want to stick with her.
When I asked her if she thought that her approach was the problem, she abruptly ended the conversation.
Ha! That’s classic dude. That’s called triggering. She was definitely triggered. I love that. When I asked her if she thought that her approach was the problem, she abruptly ended the conversation. Ding, ding. We have a winner. There you go. She’s definitely the problem, my friend. It’s not you.
How do you think I could’ve handled this differently?
The only thing I would have maybe done differently is maybe busted her balls a little bit and had some fun with it because there’s no way you’re going to meet this girl and date her. Do not. Do not. But man, you can have some fun with it, because the things that she’s saying, as you said, were ridiculous and you told her it was ridiculous. It’s like you’re going to hold the phone away and you’re like, did she just say that to me? When I asked her if she thought that her approach was the problem, she abruptly ended the conversation.
That’s the beauty. The book worked perfectly. It brings out the best and the best, and it brings out the worst and the worst. So, when you see this kind of shit, this woman is dangerous to your mental health and well-being. You do not proceed. You do not get involved. Quite frankly, now you’ve had your fun and your laughs about the whole thing and her, and how absurd it is. You should definitely block her number and never speak to her again.
Because this this this is the definition of toxic. This woman needs to be in therapy and counseling. Maybe she’s on meds. Maybe she needs to be on meds. Or maybe she wasn’t taking her meds. But, man, you can’t make good wine from bad grapes. There’s nothing that’s fixable in there that is all on her and her family. But you as a man, when you see this kind of shit, you must disengage.
You got to eject, eject, eject, eject out of your little love plane with her. It’s like, oh, my God, that’s, that’s nuts. So, well, I hope you enjoyed this, this laugh, this absurdity, though, on a Monday. But there are women like this out there and there are guys that will think, I can work with this. I can fix her; I can change her. Maybe if I’m calmer or nicer to her, she’ll be nicer to me. It’s like this woman’s a lunatic. It’s like, no wonder her ex cheated on her. It’s like, quite frankly, with her attitude and the way she behaves, she deserved to get treated that way. It’s like her behavior is just out of control.
And the fact that obviously she hung up on him. And ended the conversation. So deep down she knows she’s the problem, but she’s unwilling to do anything about it because probably there are so many thirsty guys out there. At least she’s talking to dudes that are willing to put up with it for a while. But you know, I’d be blocking her name and number and I’d never have anything to do with her. That woman is just dangerous to be involved with. Plain and simple.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.
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