The White Knight Beta Male Orbiter

Why you should avoid being the white knight beta male orbiter trying to take another guys girl.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a naive and gullible guy who has allowed himself to become infatuated with a woman who has a boyfriend. He’s waiting around for her relationship to end hoping to get his chance without realizing he’s become part of her Frankenstein Boyfriend Project.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This particular email is from a guy, obviously I assume he’s new to my work and he’s probably young, kind of naive, little gullible, he’s allowed himself to kind of get infatuated with this girl who happens to have a boyfriend. Of course, she’s not super happy. She’s had a rocky relationship with the boyfriend. He’s kind of become part of her Frankenstein boyfriend project.

Particular women do this, usually the ones with daddy issues, because they weren’t raised in a balanced home and they don’t they just didn’t get exposed to what balanced masculinity was, and they naturally are going to seek it. So when they get into a relationship, if it’s not ideal and it’s not exactly what they want, they tend to have other male orbiters, guys that have interest but are in kind of various stages of some buy her gifts, some take her to lunch, some are the emotional tampon, which it kind of seems like that’s what this this guy is. He’s kind of become the emotional tampon. So when she’s not happy with her boyfriend, she complains to him that kind of thing, but he’s put his whole life on hold waiting for her to potentially get freed up.

As a man, this is just not someplace you want to be. You’re looking for a girl who’s single, ready to mingle, not a chick who is in a relationship with somebody else, because quite frankly, it can be dangerous, literally to your life and your health to be trying to rip off some other dude’s girl. I live down in South Florida, and you may have heard me talk about a Hialeah divorce before, which is murder, suicides are pretty common in situations like this. Woman leaves her husband, leaves her boyfriend, he’s unhappy about it, finds her with the guy she’s been cheating with, he takes out her and the new boyfriend, and then he offs himself. It’s almost like a nightly occurrence down here. It’s kind of like a running joke with people I know that are in law enforcement. I mean it’s sad, but shit happens all the time. Guys that see too many Disney movies, they think, “Oh, that poor girl. She’s unhappy in her relationship,” or “The boyfriend, he’s a jerk. I’m going to save her from that terrible marriage or that terrible relationship, and then we’re going to live happily ever after,” like they do in the movies. In real life, you literally get people that come after you, and it can be dangerous to your life and your health. So it’s just the downside risks in these situations, it’s just so huge.

On top of that, when you look at stats, 95% of the relationships that come from cheating tend to end in cheating, and guys think that, “Oh, I found the perfect woman,” it’s like, she cheats on him, she’ll cheat on you. They never look at that because the guys are totally focused on their interest in her, and they just can’t objectively look at the situation. They think they’re doing a good thing. They’re rescuing this woman. They’re rescuing the damsel in distress. “She needs me. I’ll save her from her boring life. I’ll save her from that neglectful boyfriend or husband.” You never should mow another man’s lawn, that’s the bottom line.

Viewer Email:

Dear Corey,

I hope you’re doing well. I’ve been following your work for a while now, and I’ve learned a lot from your advice.

Well, you got to read the book, dude. Stop cherry picking videos. I can tell that’s probably what you’re doing. You might get some attainable success, but you’re not going to sustain it. The fact that you’re thinking it’s a good idea to stay engaged trying to chase after some other dude’s chick? That’s a bad way to go. If she’s not available, say, “Hey, if it doesn’t work out with you and your boyfriend, get in touch. If I’m still single, we can go out on a date. That’d be wonderful, but I’m not going to be your side piece. It’s not appropriate for us to talk and get involved when you got a boyfriend.”

I’m reaching out because I’m in a tricky situation with a girl I’ve developed feelings for, and I could really use your perspective on how to handle things moving forward.

Here’s the context: She has a boyfriend…

Well, that’s it. “Hey, give me a call if it doesn’t work out.” You just do not go forward. hat’s not a situation you want to be in. You develop feelings, well those are your feelings, but she’s in a relationship with somebody else. What happens is people deep down that don’t believe they deserve to have what they want, they don’t believe or feel that they deserve to have love, they get involved in situations like this because it prevents them from getting an actual relationship. There’s no real risk. If you grew up in an environment like I did, where loves and hugs and, “I love you. I’m proud of you,” you never heard things like that. You never got affection. You become starved for it. So what happens when you come across a woman like this who’s unavailable? You want love desperately from her, but you can’t get it because she’s taken. That feels normal to you. That feels, “Oh, this is how it was growing up,” and you don’t realize it, but it’s totally a dysfunctional situation.

If you love and value yourself, you’re just simply going to spend your time with women that are single and ready to mingle. Girls like this, you can be like, “Hey, I think you’re great. I think we got great chemistry. If you were single, I’d love to get together with you if it doesn’t work out with your dude. Get in touch. If I’m still available, we can go out on a date. That’d be great,” That’s it, you move on with your life. You don’t become an emotional tampon and talk for two hours on the phone every day or constantly be texting all day, every day, because even if you do that, you’ll firmly and permanently get yourself stuck in friend-zone and you won’t be able to get out. Then when she finally does get freed up, then you find out right away she’s already riding some other dude’s cock and not yours. Then you wonder, “Why is that?” Because men who love and value themselves, and who women like and want to date and sleep with, they’re not going to get involved in these situations. They’re just going to say, “Hey well, maybe she’ll get freed up in the future and we’ll see what happens.”

…And while they’re still together, their relationship has been rocky lately, especially since he’s currently studying overseas.

So he’s saying, Ah, the boyfriend is not around. I can get her.”

They’ve been through a lot together, including an abortion they had to go through due to their school situation.

I’m sure he’s probably been on the phone a lot with her and listening to her cry about her situation and be there for her. So he’s kind of fulfilling the emotional connection that she doesn’t have with her boyfriend who’s overseas.

She’s told me that she’s emotionally tied to him, and his family has done a lot for her, like taking her on holidays. However, despite this, I feel like she’s been flirting with me…

So what? She’s disloyal to him. She’ll be disloyal to you when she’s not happy. That’s just the reality of it.

…And we’ve built a strong connection since we’re in the same major, take classes together, and even go to the gym together.

So you’ve become her gay male girlfriend. Congratulations, I’m sure you’re enjoying the blue balls.

I’ve confessed my feelings to her…

You say you’ve been following me for a while. This is exactly what’s in the book says, don’t do this. Women don’t care about your feelings for them. They don’t care how much you love them or like them or what a great dude you are. They only care about how they feel about you. Of course, in the movies, when you vomit your feelings, it works out. Women don’t love you like puppies do. Puppies, especially the male puppies, are always at your side. He’s always cool to be there, but girls, they’re like kitty cats. They’re a little finicky.

…But she said she couldn’t reciprocate because of everything she’s gone through with her boyfriend.

In other words, she’s like, “Hey, I’m with him, but how about some friend-zone? How about some more blue balls? I got a big giant helping of that for you.”

However, she also mentioned that in another life, she would have wanted to be with me.

So he hears that and he’s like, “There’s a chance! So you’re saying I got a chance?“

I’m feeling conflicted because on one hand, I want to respect her relationship…

Which, I hear what you say, “I want to respect her relationship.” No you don’t. You’re hanging out with her and going to the gym. You ain’t respecting the relationship. You’re hoping to get your chance and rip her off.

…And her emotional situation, but on the other, it feels like there’s something between us…

That’s because you’re only focused on your feelings, and she’s already come right out and told you, “Hey, I’m going to stay with my boyfriend, but you can buy me lunch, you can buy me drinks, you can take me to the gym, give me rides, buy me stuff, listen to me cry about my problems and be my emotional tampon. I may give you a hug and a peck on the cheek, but it ain’t going any further than that. You got not getting anywhere near the box.”

…And the time we spend together only makes it harder for me to ignore my feelings.

Again see, he’s totally focused on his feelings, and she’s come right out and said, “Hey, I got a boyfriend. Can’t do anything. Sorry.” Full disclosure on her part.

I’m unsure how to proceed.

You don’t proceed. You don’t spend time with her. It’s inappropriate. You’re putting the vibe in the universe that you’re OK with disloyal women, because then what will happen is the universe will send you a girl who’s disloyal, who’s actually available and she’ll really rake you over the coals and cheat on you, and then you’ll be going, “Oh, why did this happen to me?” Because it’s the vibe you’re communicating to the universe that you’re OK with disloyalty and being cheated on, trying to cheat on and cause somebody else to cheat on their significant other. You reap what you sow in life, dude. This is bad karma. You should not be doing this.

Should I distance myself and give her space to figure out her relationship…

Yep!

…Or is there a way to maintain our friendship without overstepping boundaries?

Dude, it’s not a friendship. The friendship is fraudulent. You’re only friends with her because you want to get in her pants. Don’t give me that shit. “I want to protect our friendship.” Fuck off. It’s ridiculous!

I want to be respectful and avoid putting her in a difficult position…

No, you don’t.You’re already doing it. Your actions communicate that you don’t care. All you care about is ripping her off.

…But I also don’t want to stay in limbo, constantly wondering what might happen.

Well, nothing’s going to happen as long as you do this. If you are a high value man and had choices and options, you’d be dating other women and you’d have the attitude of, “Hey, if it doesn’t work out, give me a call, and if I’m still single, we can go out on a date and see what happens. I think you’re great.” That’s it. If she likes you or really likes you, then she eventually gets freed up, she’ll get in touch. If she continues to get in touch after you’ve told her that and she’s still with the boyfriend, you got to reprimand her a little bit and say, “Hey, this is not appropriate. You have a boyfriend. I’m not going to be the other guy. I’m not going to be your side piece, because at the end of the day, if you’re willing to cheat on your boyfriend and be disloyal to him, then you would do that to me, so I can’t get involved with you, but definitely if it doesn’t work out, get in touch.” You may have to reiterate that to her several times, because in your case, when you pull back and tell her that, she’s not going to just go away and go, “OK, I’ll contact you.” If it doesn’t work out, she might go a few days or a few weeks and then she’ll be back with, “Heyy,” because usually they know you’ll just cave because you like the attention and you think, “Oh, now’s my chance.” Only interact with women that are single and ready to mingle, not with somebody else’s chick. It’s just a bad way to go. You could get lead poisoning from it, which happens very often. It’s a bad way to go.

I just saw a video the other day on Twitter, a guy was pissed off that his girl was screwing around with some other dude, and I watched him basically take her life in front of everybody in their apartment community. I mean, his videos are constant, and that dude’s going to probably spend the rest of his life in jail. It’s just stupid. No girl is worth that. Especially when she is willing to cheat. She cheats on him, she’ll cheat on you. Don’t lose your life over a disloyal hoe. It’s not worth it.

You don’t have a friendship. It could be a potential romantic prospect if she’s ever single, because you guys seem to like spending time together, but I’m sure she likes the attention and validation and whatever money you probably spend on her, or give to her or whatever ,fix her car, unclog her toilet, whatever the hell you’re doing.

I would really appreciate your advice on how to approach this in a way that honors both her situation and my own feelings.

Thank you for your time, Corey. I look forward to your thoughts.

Best regards,

Bob

Well, your feelings are irrelevant. She’s unavailable. She’s not possible. She could end up staying with this guy, and look how much time you’ve wasted. When I was younger, I would waste sometimes a year and a half, sometimes two years, hung up on a chick like this until it happened enough that I was like, “Man, that’s a tremendous waste of time. You’re either in or you’re out.”

Yeah, that’s the fun of living in a condo… All of a sudden you’re middle of video and some asshole decides to start banging on the concrete, and it just echoes through the whole building. Drives the dogs crazy. They keep barking.

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