Why approval seeking behavior ruins chemistry and causes the romantic spark to evaporate, and what you can do to ensure that mutual chemistry grows to increase attraction and desire.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who says he has hooked up with fourteen women over the past few months, and that six of them wanted to be exclusive with him. He said he was not interested in any of them on a serious basis. He recently met a woman through online dating that he really liked, but when they kissed on their first date, she pulled away saying that there was no chemistry or spark. He has a second date set up with her and asks what he can do to make chemistry happen.
The second email is from a viewer who started a long distance relationship. After several months of dating, she was introducing him to her family and telling her father that they planned to get engaged to be married. Then one night during sex, something happened. It started a slow relationship death spiral that led to him getting friend-zoned and causing him to over-pursue, act needy and like a stalker. He asks what he can do now to get her back as she is non-responsive to him.
“Approval seeking behavior in romantic relationships is the hallmark of people who do not feel worthy of their lovers attention. They feel they need to make up for something they mistakenly believe that they lack on the inside. This can manifest itself as changing one’s opinion to match someone else’s, going along with things you don’t really want to do in hopes that they like you, thinking you have to do something external or give some kind of fantastic gift or ultimate date to make them love you, allowing others to walk all over you for fear that they will leave you if you stand up for yourself, etc. Chemistry and a romantic spark, happens as a natural by product of two people who are at the same place emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically, and who are authentic, honest and respectful of themselves. They don’t hold back and perceive themselves, and each other as a gift. They simply do not allow or tolerate others in their lives or social circle who don’t lift them up or who insist on keeping them small.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne