What you should do if things have started to fall apart with your girlfriend, such as, when you contact her to set dates, she seems to be disinterested, busy or gives you answers like, “maybe” or “we’ll see.”
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a viewer who has been dating his girlfriend for nine months. At the six-month mark, she still had never said that she loved him. He seemed to be doing all of the contacting and when he asked her out for dates, she always gave him BS, non-committal responses such as, “maybe” or “we’ll see.” This led to him thinking he had to do more.
He started buying her gifts, writing cheesy love notes, etc. This only made matters worse. After he started watching my videos and reading my book, he made some major changes to his approach. A few months later she’s doing all of the calling, texting and pursuing. She also tells him that she loves him and has even been revealing her kinky sexual fantasies. He credits my work with saving his relationship.
To start off, I want to say that I found your newsletters online just at the right time in my life. When I first saw them I went crazy, and I’ve probably watched a coupled hundred already in a month. Your material is crazy-good, and I soaked all of it up completely, just like I’ve been soaking up my girlfriend’s desires lately.
However, this wasn’t the case before. My girlfriend and I have been dating for nine months now. At the six-month mark, things started to fall apart. I could see she was getting distant more, never texted me at all, and she seemed to never be free at all during the week. (It sounds like you were calling and texting too much. She could feel she was starting to lose her freedom.) I realized this was my fault after listening to your stuff. I was always texting her, asking her to hang out and even trying to make several plans during the week. (You were definitely guilty of over pursuing.) She would always reply with, “maybe” or “we’ll see.” When this happened, I thought I wasn’t doing enough, so I started writing cheesy love notes and buying her gifts. Little did I know, these were all of the wrong moves. (Those gifts were a bribe to spend more time with you.)
Now that I’ve listened to hundreds of your newsletters and read lots of your book, not only do I have the hang of things, but it’s rather fun. (Hang out, have fun, and hook up. It’s the best formula for a guy to focus on, because everything else just complicates things.) The last few weeks I have been applying your principles, and they are gold. I backed off and stopped texting her all the time. (The phone is for setting dates, not for chit chatting.) She began to pursue me and send me texts. I now use texting as a way of making dates and plans, and I limit our conversations to a minimum on the phone. (It also helps you remain mysterious and look forward to your date.) I only make dates when she texts me first, and she seems to love this. Now that she texts me first and I respond with making a date, she ALWAYS says yes, and seems so excited to see me. (Yes, because it builds sexual tension.)
The best part of all of this is that since I’ve backed off, displayed more alpha male traits and actually stood up for myself a few times, her interest for me has sky rocketed. For the first time the other day, she told me she loves me. (It’s easy, effortless and natural.) This probably would have never happened if I stayed on the path I was on. I know it took almost nine months for her to say it, but at least I’m on track now. (Women don’t dump guys when they’re in love with them.) Did I say that was the best part? Well it’s not. This past weekend when we were on a date, she brought up her fantasy bucket list to me, which consisted of sexual fantasies like doing it on the ski hill outside, in our neighbor’s pool and many other naughty things. I was so surprised and so excited about this, we ended up checking one of these off her list by the end of the night!
Thanks so much for what you do Corey! There are people out here like me whose relationships you’ve saved. Also, if you could do a newsletter on this, that would be great! I realize there are others’ emails who are more important, so I know this could take up to a month, but I would like to eventually see the video on what you have to say about this, and so others can hear about my situation too!
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“When most guys feel their girlfriend starting to slip away, they often mistakenly assume that they need to do more. They often start buying gifts, writing cheesy love notes, etc. When they do this, their actions are no longer a gift of the heart, but a shallow attempt to manipulate, force things or bribe her to spend more time with them. They don’t realize that when a woman starts saying, “maybe” or “we’ll see,” to their attempts to set dates that they are starting to make her feel smothered and like she is losing her freedom. It’s always best to back off and tell her to contact them once she figures out her schedule when that happens, and then be patient enough to wait to hear from her.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne