How you can get a hot older cougar woman to seduce you and make you her boyfriend!
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who, as he puts it in his own words, met a “DIME” piece in the gym. She said something in passing to him one day in the gym making a joke and teasing him (her invitation). They started working out together every other week. They joked and flirted with each other until one day, he decided to invite her to take things further.
Several months later, they are casually dating and she is falling for him. Oh, by the way, he’s twenty-one and she is thirty-three, but looks twenty-five. It’s a really great example of how moving slightly slower than women will cause them to become more aggressive and go out of their way to get your attention. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
I just love this email because he took his time and did a great example of showing how to go slightly slower than a woman is when there’s romantic interest. Because as the weeks and the months go by, especially whether you’re working together, or you see each other in the gym all the time, or they’re part of your social circle, it’s your inaction that shows that you have your romantic interest under total control. In other words, you’re in no hurry, you’re in no rush.
He just did a really great job, and they’re casually dating now. I thought, what a great success story to perfectly illustrate this concept that I often talk about. And I admit, I’m kind of jealous and envious of this guy. If I was twenty-one, man, I would have loved to have had an experience like this when I was his age. All the things I’ve been through in my life that I wrote about in How To Be A 3% Man, it’s nice that I can share these things with the world and have some guy I don’t know, never met before, someplace in the world learn from me, go out and not do all the screwing up that I was doing at his age. He has all of the wisdom and power at his fingertips to create a great life and lifestyle for himself, and I’m really proud of him. It’s just a great success story.
I’m not going to share the picture of her, but apparently she’s got 700k Instagram followers and she has an amazing body — beautiful girl. I’m so happy for this guy. Every twenty-one year old should have these kinds of experiences, especially learning from a woman that’s older, that takes great care of her body. As a young twenty-one year old guy, she can teach you a lot, especially in the bedroom. Those are great things to have happen. Imagine a lifetime of great memories like this. A guy getting started at twenty-one instead of the ten, twelve years that it took me to get to this point beyond where he’s at now.
Man, being twenty-one and being able to know this stuff and master this stuff, it’s so cool. It’s gratifying to me as a coach to see somebody enjoying their life like this at twenty-one, versus having to go through years and years of heartbreak and missing out on opportunities like this. Because these opportunities happen to everybody when they’re younger, it’s just they don’t know how to capitalize on them and maybe they haven’t optimized their life or their body yet to do it. And this guy is a great student.
I think this is a great textbook example of how a man’s inaction or indifference to her actually creates more attraction, especially when he can tell that she’s into him and obviously, she can tell that he’s into her. He’s not really doing anything, but yet she’s curious about him and he’s mysterious.
I’ve been following your work for years because I was always the kid in high school that struggled with confidence with women. Well, fast forward to today, and I now just turned 21.
Oh, so he just turned twenty-one. I remember where I was when I just turned twenty-one. Within a few weeks after turning twenty-one was when I got my job tending bar. This is amazing. This guy was twenty when all of this started happening. Dude, good job.
I am a personal trainer and in college and have really worked hard on my body and my career which has lead me to become more confident. To get straight to the point, I am always in gyms either training others or working out myself, so I come across a lot of attractive women. Especially down here in Miami, Florida.
There’s a lot of beautiful women in South Florida.
Well, one day I am performing a leg exercise and some DIME passes by me and spits out a little joke teasing me a bit.
This is what’s interesting. What I found out in my thirties is that older women, the cougar type, as they get out of their early and mid-twenties and they really start developing confidence, they will start approaching men more, in a much more confident way. And that’s obviously what was going on here. She noticed him, she’s a lot more confident and I’m sure the guys in the toxic part of the red pill community would be going, “Oh, she hit the wall!” But it’s like, she doesn’t look like she’s hitting the fucking wall, dude. Trust me.
So what I’ve noticed is these women have a little more confidence and they’re a lot more forward because they know what they want. They’ve been burned a few times themselves. And when they see a guy they like, they have no problem throwing out an invitation to see what he does with it, to see how he handles it, to see if he knows what he’s doing.
She walks by and teases him, that’s her invitation. That’s basically her saying, “Hey cutie. I like you,” to see what he does. A guy that has game, that knows what he’s doing, he’s going to be unperturbed by that. He’s going to be like, “Well, of course she’s noticing me. I’m hot, I look good, I take care of myself. I’m awesome like that, and these things happen all the time.”
Then I tease her back and we start talking and we exchange contact info.
So, he’s not trying to make a date right away, which is interesting.
So, we started to workout together. She loved the workouts and would always want to work out with me.
Because think about it, if you already have plenty of women in your life and another hot girl approaches you in a gym, you’re used to this kind of thing happening all the time, “Hey, she’s cute. My plate’s already kind of full right now. We’ll exchange numbers. Maybe we’ll work out together sometime, and then I can see what she’s like. I don’t have to take her out and spend any money on her. I’m already going to be at the gym. Let’s work out and see what happens, see if I like this girl. I don’t know about her yet.”
That’s the vibe that a guy who already has too much, already has plenty of fulfillment in his personal life is going to be. “I don’t really need anybody else to date right now, but she’s cute. We’ll hang out, we’ll work out together and I’ll see what she’s like.”
When we started to workout together, I would always flirt with her and she would kind of chuckle but would never take me serious. This went on a for a couple of months.
So, maybe twice a month they hung out and worked out.
We would work out on average once every other week. Until one day I went with my gut and told her that I felt like I was being used, because she only wanted to work out with me and never was open to hanging out or going out with me on the side, and that I didn’t just want to be her gay workout partner. Well, what do you know!? The next time we worked out, I invited her out afterwards and she said yes! And we ended up going back to her place.
So, the argument could be said, that didn’t really sound like a confident line you delivered, but after several months of hanging out and working out occasionally together, he doesn’t say anything about any texting exchange or any of that happening. It just seems like they were working out together occasionally. And as this goes by, she can tell he’s attracted to her but he doesn’t do anything about it. He has total emotional self-control. So, he throws that out there to see what she does with it, which is nothing. She likes it, but then the next time, he invites her to hang out, she says yes. She’s already comfortable with him, because again, he’s going slightly slower. Pretty simple.
Turns out she’s 33 but looks like she’s in her mid 20’s. She’s an Instagram model with 700k followers. I’m only 21, and she knows it and doesn’t care!
Well, quite frankly, she’s dating a hot twenty-one year old. So, from her perspective, it’s good. This is what’s amazing. I don’t know if you guys know who Liz Hurley is. She’s in her mid-fifties now, and she looks fucking hot. She looks amazing. It just goes to show, when you take care yourself, you take care of your body, you eat right and you exercise properly, it really doesn’t take a lot to look pretty damn good when you get older. Because if you’re a slow learner like I’ve always been, as you get older you can really have a great time as you get better. Instead of most people, when they get into their forties and fifties, they’re fat, overweight and they look like shit.
Right now, we’re just casually dating and not rushing into anything, but I’ve heard her tell me “I miss you!” I even heard her say “I love you” once when we spoke on the phone.
You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free. So, I don’t see him displaying any kind of insecurity. I’m not crazy about his line that he said about getting together, but if it’s said as a joke without any kind of attachment — and he didn’t say anything, he just threw it out there and was cool with waiting until he saw her again — that’s more displaying of emotional self-control.
He’s not in a rush. He’s “Slow and steady like the river that never grows stale. No hurry, no rush,” my favorite quote from Rumi.
I’m not rushing into anything nor pressuring her to become something official with me, because of what you talk about in your book, 3% Man.
From a guy that never had a girlfriend in high school and never got the girls he actually wanted to now pulling a dime piece. I just want to thank you so much.
Bro, she’s fucking hot. Nice job, dude. Good on you.
So, for those of you who would like to get my help personally, maybe you’ve got a personal situation or a professional situation you’d like to get my help with and do a phone session, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“When it comes to dating, seduction and building sexual anticipation, it’s always best if a man goes at a pace slightly slower than the woman is. This causes her to be turned on by his non-hungry romantic interest and work harder to get his attention and validation so they can spend more time together and therefore, a relationship becomes her idea. This is what it means to love someone in a way that they feel free. Women love men who don’t try to control or possess them. This is the height of masculinity. A man who has total emotional self-control. He has his strong romantic desire for her, but it is under control and he is in no rush to make anything happen. He instead prefers to let it happen at her pace. A man never has to worry about rejection when the woman is pursuing him.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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