What to do when you are frustrated with constant fighting & breakups so your relationship becomes what you want. It can be very frustrating when you are dating a woman you love, but who you constantly argue with or butt heads over her saying she does not trust you. I remember when I was dating my wife before we got married, and that she was often jealous, needy and insecure about our relationship. There was a period of time of where she was constantly accusing me of sleeping with or hooking up with other women behind her back. Deep down she could tell I was not fully present and in love with her. However, at that time I was too weak to admit that the relationship was not what I really wanted deep down, and I therefore stayed in it longer than I should’ve. I got married to her when my heart was telling me otherwise. I finally got to a point where I got tired of her jealousy and insecurity because I never had any intention of cheating on her. I was faithful to her and I simply put my foot down and told her that she needed to get over her feelings of insecurity and inadequacy and to never bring it up to me again. She never did after that. When a woman does not feel you are totally there and present in the relationship, she will often become bitchy or upset with you. The following is an e-mail from a reader who broke up with a girlfriend he is still hooking up with. When she comes back, he chases too hard which pushes her away. He’s frustrated that it’s not going anywhere and writes to me asking for my help. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
Thanks for all of your advice. I am going to order your book today. (You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.) Here is the situation. I was with this lady for 3 1/2 years. Our relationship was full of sex and fights. (Men who understand women do not argue with them. They communicate in a loving and mature adult manner.) The fights were about her not trusting me. (That tells me that she did not feel you were fully present in the relationship. There were things you should have been doing that you were not. When men tell women they will do things and then they do not, it causes them to become bitchy because they don’t trust your masculine core. This ruins a woman’s ability to feel safe and comfortable in the relationship.) I am and was totally into this woman and took great offense to her thinking I was not true. We eventually moved in, but the fights won out and she moved out 3 months later. (You don’t understand women, that is why you fight with your girl.) Since then she has been manipulating the crap out of me and I keep letting it happen. She had me over 4 times for sex and to tell me that she loves me. Finally she said “no more, leave me alone, I’ve moved on.” (Sounds like you were chasing her. Chasing women guarantees rejection.) I stopped contacting her. Two weeks later I get this bullshit email to pick up some stuff. (They usually do that to see how you react and if it bothers you that you are not with her. Women will often do things like this when they are unsure of where they stand with you.) She saw that I was doing well and I saw her for a few minutes two days in a row. Hugs and kisses and she says she loves me, but we can’t be together, etc. (Translation: “There’s too much drama being with you.”) I got some help when she moved out. I changed some things in my life and I am now better than ever. (Awesome! Good for you!) She seems the same. (People don’t change, they only become better versions of themselves.) The thing is I truly love this woman, and if there is still a chance I don’t want to give up. I will not contact her as I didn’t last time, and figure a message will come from her at some point. (That’s all you can do. She told you it was over and you should never try to stay with someone who does not want to stay with you.) I’m guessing I should just state what I want and she can take it or leave it? (Stick to what you want when she contacts you, if she is unwilling to give you what you want or treat you the way you want to be treated, then walk away and tell her to call you if she changes her mind. Get busy reading my book and applying what it teaches so you can meet & date better quality women & master your skills of seduction.)
Thanks for any and all your help.
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things:
From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Arguing with your girlfriend or wife is a fools errand.” ~ Corey Wayne