Together For 10 Months. She Often Brings Up Getting Married

What it means & what you can do if your girl often brings up getting married.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been with his girlfriend for about 10 months. Things are going well and she often brings up getting married. However, he feels it’s a little too soon for that and asks my opinion.

There’s also some things he wants her to do more of and asks how he should go about it. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

In this particular email, this guy’s been with his girlfriend for only 10 months. Things are going really well and she often brings up getting married. However, he feels it’s a little too soon and he asks my opinion. He’s also got some other things that he would like her to do more of, so he’s unsure of how he should approach it, but overall, things seem to be going well with this particular lady.

Viewer Email:

Good day Coach,

I am one of your premium members on YouTube. I have been following you now for a year and a half now. I have read your book five times, reading between 3% Man and The Way of the Superior Man. I am going to read both books 10-15 times. I know I need to read them both that many times, not the strongest weed strain in the dispensary when it comes to attraction. I actually don’t even know how I found your work. I went through a terrible break up with a narcissistic woman (Would never recommend), everything with her was a constant battle. But I was just on YouTube and you literally popped up. 

Well, how convenient. Congratulations! Good for you!

So when I saw the video I’m like, “What the fuck does this small bald headed man know about attraction?”

I know more than most.

I started watching your videos one after another. I’m like, “Damn, this man does know his shit!” LMAO. I first read your book online and then got a physical copy. I went to speed dating events (I would say it’s a great place to meet women and apply your teachings) and a great way for people to get their social skills up. Let them do most of the talking, ask them questions and just be funny, and I got a few numbers from the speed dating events.

I met my current girlfriend who I have been dating for 10 months now at one of the speed dating events, and man, everything is smooth and easy with her with applying your teachings. She even said during the first month she loved how I didn’t force anything and everything just happened naturally. She loves being in her feminine. I got a lot of sex. She always says she loves my masculinity, leadership and emotional intelligence. But I have two questions: 1) She keeps bringing up she can’t wait to marry me, etc. Should I be worried about or hesitant about it because we’ve been dating for 10 months and never experienced that with other women?

Well, typically you should wait two to three years before you get to that point and see how she is, see if she’s willing to be patient with your timeline, but it really should be a compliment, because if you’re following what’s in the book, women are typically going to be in love with you by about week seven or week eight. If you’re really applying it well, they’ll continue to be in love, and when they’re in love, they’re going to want to know where it’s going, and they’re going to be constantly focused on the future together and focused on a future with you. So that looks like it’s a good thing. I just wouldn’t be in a mad dash to get to the finish line of the marriage altar. I would be taking my time.

Is that normal with your teachings for women bringing that up a lot?

Well it’s like, define “a lot.” Maybe once a month, “I can’t wait till we get married,” like what is she saying specifically? If she’s giving you ultimatums and being angry about it after only a few months of dating and being mad that you haven’t bought an engagement ring, that’s not a good sign, but if she’s got a good attitude and she’s just telling you she can’t wait to be married, can’t wait to have your kids, it sounds like she’s just happy and in love. That’s why you should date for two or three years and see what happens after you’re out of the honeymoon period.

2) She does some things for me, but it seems like the bare minimum (Ex. I want her to cook for me more without me asking).

You got to ask. You got to say, “Hey babe, I love your cooking, and it would mean the world to me,” say she’s cooking for you three nights a week, “If you could cook five nights a week,” or whatever. Or if she’s only cooking once a week, get her to cook a few more meals, or maybe meals you can make together.

Feminine energy grows through praise. So whatever you love about her and you want her to do more of, praise her for it. Ask her to do it more often and tell her how much you love it when you do those things for her, but you can’t expect her to be a mind reader and be psychic. “Hey, you know I love your cooking. It’s so amazing. You know, it would mean the world to me if you cooked more, if you cooked a few more meals during the week.” If she says, “Oh, I can’t wait to get married,” it’s like, “Well, I’d love it if you would cook more. You know, as they say, ‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,’ and you’re a really good cook, and I know you want to get married and all those things, but I want to see that you’re going to be a good woman consistently. You’re not going to just cook for me so I put a ring on your finger, and then after we get married you stop. I want to see that you do it because you love doing it.”

Sometimes I want her to do things without bringing it up just to show you appreciate your man. How should I go about that?

Bob

Well, you got to ask. You got to communicate. You can’t get butt-hurt, mad or upset if she’s not doing what you want her to do. You got to communicate. You have to ask for it, and it’s a good test. If you praise her what you love about her, you ask her to do it, and then she promises to do it and she does it for three or four weeks and then kind of slowly backslides, you got to call her out on it, but is it something that she just constantly backslides and doesn’t do? Because if she’s always talking about marriage and you told her how much you loved her cooking for you, and she did it for a few weeks and then just backslid and she hasn’t cooked for you in a while, you gotta bring those things up. This is part of the vetting process. You go to a relationship to give. Is she willing to give you the home cooked meals that you like and everything else? Is she willing to treat you the way you want to be treated? Does she have a similar goals and similar values that you’re looking for? These are all things you got to pay attention to and ask.

So based on her response, if you ask her to do these things and she just does it and you don’t ever have to bring it up again, that’s what you’re looking for. If she does it for a short period of time and then stops, well she’s not doing it because she really wants to. She’s only doing it because you asked her to, and this should be something that she should want to do for you if this is important because again, she’s the one that’s talking about marriage. Before you marry somebody, you want to see that they’ll consistently do these things for two or three years, not just because you asked for it or not “Just in case” or “Until she gets the engagement ring.”

What typically happens is the girl gets fit and in shape, or is fit and in shape when they start dating, maybe puts on a little bit of weight during the dating phase, and then she gets her wedding dress order and orders it a little few sizes smaller, and she’ll lose weight to fit in it by her wedding day. Then after you get married, she starts gaining the weight back. Then after you have a couple kids, she doesn’t lose the baby weight and just lets herself go and she just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. A lot of guys have that experience. That’s why it’s important to date for two or three years if you’re one of those guys that wants to get married and involve the state in your relationships. Other than that, I mean, I like what I see. It’ll be interesting to see what happens after you ask her to make dinner for you more, or to cook more to see if she actually consistently does it without you having to use a cattle prod to basically get her to do these things.

You shouldn’t have to constantly nag and remind her to cook when she promised to do that. Will she keep her word? Will she do it just because she loves you? Or will she only do it if she thinks she’s going to get an engagement ring? If she doesn’t think the engagement ring is going to happen, then she won’t do it. You’re looking for a woman that naturally is a giver and does these things. Once you ask and she knows how much you appreciate it, she’ll just always do it for you because she wants you to know that she loves you. Some women are givers. Some women are not. Some women, you’ll ask to do these things, and they’ll only do it for a short while if she does it perpetually and you don’t have to keep bringing it up, then maybe you got a keeper. You got to wait and see.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.