The importance of trying to get a little better each day in every area of your life that you would like to improve, and how incremental progress and success eventually adds up to accomplishing your grandest goals and dreams.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who is nineteen years old and has been following my work for the past year. He shares how he went from being unsuccessful with women and in life, to describing how he met his current girlfriend, even when another guy was hitting on her, to how he has started a successful business, and all of the things he is doing now to achieve his goals and dreams.
He used to hang around people who really did not want him around, but now his life is full of supportive, driven and motivated people who have nothing but positive and uplifting things to say to him to encourage him to achieve his goals and dreams. It’s another great success story of how anyone can dramatically turn their life around for the better by simply focusing on the right things and taking the proper action to make steady progress and incremental change in a relatively short period of time. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
You hear this a lot, but I’d really like you to know what an impact you make on men all over the world. I’m a 19-year old, just finished college, and I’m about to go to University in the UK. A year or two ago, I was literally the typical love drunk, nerdy kid that would freak out and jump up and down with excitement if I even got a text back from a girl. In hindsight, my behavior was pitiful, yet helps me understand how not to behave. Here’s a good example… back in April 2014, I went on one date with a girl where I took her out for coffee and movies, and on the date, everything seemed to be going great. I kept it relaxed and fun, with a sole aim to make her laugh and have a good time. By the end of the date, she was making out with me, with her hands wondering all over. Unfortunately, I was living with my parents at that point, and even if I weren’t, I wouldn’t have had the courage to ask her to come back to my place. Well, here is where the face-palm began. I texted her immediately after the date, ending up professing my undying love for her, love hearts left, right and center, blowing up her phone in the next few days and asking why she wasn’t replying. (You will never get a straight answer when you ask those kinds of questions of a woman. They don’t want to hurt your feelings.) She never met up with me again to this date. I wonder why.
November 2014, I stumbled upon your work looking for a way to get over a girl I had been in a relationship with, which ended on my behalf due to her bitching and both of us being poor communicators. (At least you got to have a relationship.) We fought at least twice every day over small things, and eventually I told myself this is hurting both of us and ended it. After I found your work, I realized a lot of things I was doing wrong, such as the correct way with arguments and how couples don’t argue, they discuss, and that arguing gets both parties nowhere, (One key facet of that is, it presupposes the person you’re with is a good communicator. A lot of people grow up in families that don’t communicate, and they refuse to talk); the key point also being that, the focus was on the girl in question, and not myself. I was 18 at that point, and my grades had dropped, my social life wasn’t great, while people tolerated me, none of the people I knew particularly wanted me around, I didn’t have a part time job due to “not having the time,” and had even quit kickboxing, which I had reached an international standard at, to make more time for my ex. (You gave up things that were important to you to make her happy, but those are the things she was attracted to when she met you.) From November 2014 to January 2015, I made it my sole purpose to change my life. (You got tired of it and began searching for an answer.) I read your book 27 times, (Dude, that’s impressive), and I still refer to it to this date, I restarted kickboxing as well as karate, and I began running frequently. (Good for you. You’re a man on a fucking mission.) I had a look inside to my dreams and goals and set decisive goals to achieve them, learning to code within 2 months, and have set up an online business around men’s fashion accessories and style, which turned over the first milestone of £100,000 last month. I am also currently developing an indie mobile game, which is scheduled to release in September, and my goal is to set up a business empire worth 10 million within the next 2 years, as well as go to University to do Computer Science with Artificial Intelligence. (Very smart. That is a huge industry. It’s all about adding value.)
During a night out clubbing in May with my friends from kickboxing, I met my current girlfriend. I was at a table, leaning back and generally enjoying myself as my friends bantered with each other before she and her friend approached us and asked if they could join the table. (If you want to know how to do this, check out my article, “How To Get Women To Approach You First.”) It was very funny that everyone looked at me for my decision, (You’re the leader, and people respect you), and I thought to myself that would have never happened a year ago. I smiled and beckoned for them to join, and as the night progressed, I saw her frequently catching my eye and playing with her hair. A guy came over to hit on her asking if he could “buy her a drink”, and I slyly smiled as I could tell she didn’t want him there through her body language being turned away. I watched the poor bastard get brutally shot down as he tried to compliment her dress and desperately looked for a conversation opener. With the signs there, I quickly picked up my drink with one hand, and grabbing her hand with another, I said to her friend, “I’m going to steal your friend,” then to her “I like this song, I hope you can dance,” with a cocky smile and a wink. (Getting out there and having fun shows you’re comfortable with yourself.) She laughed and went along with me, as I excused myself from the group. Within five minutes of dancing, she was making out with me, and I didn’t waste anytime saying simply, “So, are we going to skip the awkward bit when I say let’s get out of here?” We had a great rest of the night back at her place, and most of the morning as well. (That’s impressive.) She called me five days later asking outright if we could meet up, and well, I couldn’t let a damsel in distress down. We’ve been hooking up every 2-3 days a week, and she brought up getting together exclusively last week. (He read the book 27 times. That’s why it’s easy and effortless for him. He prepared himself.)
My life’s a drama free zone, thanks to you and your work. I have a kick-ass support network with friends who are very alpha themselves, driven through business and success with girls, and always offering positive, uplifting comments and inspiration whenever I need it. (Those are true friends, because they’re like-minded.) I have a stunner on my arm, and while my goals are seemingly unreachable, every day I know I sleep with the satisfaction I have taken one step closer to achieving them. (It’s all about adding value, living your truth, not giving a fuck what other people think, and doing the right thing. If you treat women right, they’ll treat you right. Now you can focus 100% of your energy on growing as a man, by focusing on being a little bit better each day, and practicing the fundamentals I teach.)
Thanks once again Coach,
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Success is a process. The best and most successful athletes, CEO’s, entrepreneurs and high achievers, tend to focus relentlessly on trying to get a little better each and every day. Accomplishing big goals over a long period of time is the result of constantly achieving small daily goals. Feeling like you are making progress is essential to feeling happy, fulfilled, remaining focused and staying motivated to achieve your dreams. Time, repetition, learning from your mistakes, adapting your approach and perseverance are essential components to achieving your grandest goals and dreams.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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