This email is from a reader. He was pretty cocky and full of himself right up to the point where his girlfriend unexpectedly dumped him. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I hope your day is going well. I had a woman that I thought I was in a serious relationship with break up with me about a week ago. (You obviously were not paying attention to her interest level and instead only focused on your interest level in her. See page 120 of my book for interest level info.) We had miscommunication about her coming up to see me on her spring break. I had told her it was okay to come, but that I would be working and would not be able to spend a lot of time with her. She took it as, I didn’t want her to come. (It’s not so much what you say, but how you say it that matters). I offered to purchase a first class ticket for her to come, because of the short time frame. (That sounds like a bribe for sex… “I will buy you a first class ticket if you give me sex.”) She chose to go see her mom, her sisters and her friends and attend the Music Festival in Austin that weekend. (She had a higher interest level in spending time with others rather than you.) While driving through Houston, she saw a bad wreck where someone died, and somehow it became my fault. (She was using the event to punish you for hurting her.) We talked on the phone, and I thought we had it worked out. (You have to stop thinking logically when it comes to women who are emotionally based.) She sent me several postcards and a letter, and it seemed things were okay. Then, I got a call about a week ago that she no longer felt the same way about me and no longer wanted to stay in touch. (Awesome. Time to meet some new single ladies!).
My initial response — I was hurt. (The person that gets dumped always sees their interest level skyrocket. It’s always better to be the dumper than the dumpee.) I tried for several days to work through it with logic, (bad move), and get the relationship back on track. I said all of the wrong things, “I miss you,” and “I love you.” (That comes off as a bribe for forgiveness, and not any real acknowledgement of what you did to hurt her and lower her interest level.) At this point, I have decided to just go into No Contact, until she calls. (Yep. She is the one who said she no longer wanted to stay in contact. That usually means she stayed with you long after her interest level went below 51%. Never try to keep someone who does not want to keep you.) I am also back in the gym, (Why did you stop? Dominant males work out because they like taking care of their bodies and staying in shape. Uncentered men work out to get a girl; then when they get one, they stop), and making plans to do some fun things over the next month with old friends.
I’m not sure what else I could do at this point. (Nothing.) I have to admit, not calling her is hard, but necessary. (Calling her would further validate her reasons why she broke up with you, and guarantee she’s gone forever.)
Have a great day,
Here is my response to him:
It always sucks to get dumped when you thought everything was okay. So what happened? You stopped paying attention to the details and got a little too cocky and full of yourself. You probably started acting like you did before you read my book. Her interest level was slowly dropping, and you were not paying attention. In order to find out specifically when everything went sideways and what to do to prevent it with the next girl, I would need more info than you have provided. Read my book again. You need to read my book 10-15 times, and learn it to the point where you could give a seminar on the topic. I hate to say I told you so, but that is why I suggested you let me coach you once a month — so things like this would not happen. It’s unnecessary. Had you taken the time to invest in yourself, (aren’t you worth it?), with my coaching over the past few months, this should have never happened.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur