In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a female viewer who asks my opinion on how she should deal with her verbally abusive boyfriend who calls her a slut and a prostitute when they are arguing. She says that he verbally abuses and bullies her in their relationship to get what he wants.
She says she watches my videos any time she feels down and needs support in her relationship. I give her my opinion on the best way to try and correct his behavior, and what to do if this does not deter him and cause him to treat her in a loving, healthy way.
I am a woman, not a man, and I have a question I hope you could answer on YouTube. (This is something a lot of people suffer from. If you constantly find yourself in abusive relationships, you should read up on codependent behavior. As you grow and become more confident, you won’t tolerate verbal abuse.) I follow your videos whenever I need support and I feel down in my relationship. How should a woman respond when a man disrespects her and verbally abuses/bullies her in a relationship? How does she respond when her so called loving boyfriend calls her a slut and a prostitute when they are arguing?
I’m hoping to hear from you soon in one of your videos. (You need to let him know, if he can’t talk in a loving, adult manner, you will walk away. Part of the problem is, you are tolerating his behavior, which enables him to continue verbally abusing you. People act consistently with how they view themselves to be, whether that view is accurate or not. Like attracts like. You are who you associate yourself with. Surround yourself with people who are smarter, more loving, more compassionate, healthier, driven and more successful than you are, and they will lift you up. If you hang out with people who are below your level, they will drag you down, criticize you and make you feel like shit. Some people should go. Don’t be afraid to hit the delete button.)
“People who tolerate verbal or even physical abuse in any of their relationships put up with it due to a variety of reasons: 1) low self-esteem, 2) low self-worth, 3) fear of not finding anyone better if they leave, 4) lack of self-love, 5) they convince themselves the abuse is their fault, 6) they incorrectly learned this is normal behavior in childhood, 7) they mistakenly believe it will get better, etc. The reality is, no one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do. When someone tries to abuse you, lovingly communicate how you expect to be treated. If they don’t stop, you must walk away and never look back. By tolerating this dysfunctional behavior, you are enabling and inviting them to continue treating you this way.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne