Was My Pickup Attempt A Failure & Her Friend Was Saving Her From Me?

How to know if your pickup attempt failed causing a friend to save her from you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a new viewer who was out having a good time and talking with a woman he thought he was making progress with. Then a drunk neighbor of hers with his wife by his side cut in on the conversation and took over. Once the drunk stopped talking he tried reengaging with her, but she was looking at her other friend a lot and seemed like she no longer wanted to talk to him. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Was My Pickup Attempt A Failure & Her Friend Was Saving Her From Me?”.

Well, I’ve got an email from a dude. He was in a bar I guess, I assume. Some kind of venue. He’s having a couple drinks and he’s chatting a girl up. Some laughs and strong eye contact, he thinks he’s making progress. And then all of a sudden, this drunk dude butts in with his wife in tow, takes over the conversation.

I guess it turns out this guy’s this woman’s neighbor, and he’s drunk. And so he keeps repeating himself. We’ve all been there. You know, they’re with friends like, “Oh, man”, they just keep repeating the same thing every couple of minutes. In this case, he’s talking about doing work for her and he’s going to do a good job and this and that. Kind of overselling himself.

And so eventually, you know, the guy just basically butts in and takes over the conversation. And he wasn’t too happy about it. But as soon as the guy started tapering off and, you know, not taking over, then he tried to re-engage with this girl, but by this point she kept looking over at her friend and kind of looking away almost.

You can just see it seems like the body language has shifted and she was just trying to get away. And so when I read this, I wonder if the neighbor and his wife stepped in because she was like, “Who’s this guy? He’s a bad pickup artist. Get him away from me. I don’t like him.” Maybe she’s being nice. He didn’t pick up on it, I don’t know, but it seems like the conversation was going well.

But if he was sitting there with an angry, pissed off look on his face while this guy ran in for a half hour or 20 minutes, ten minutes, however long it was. The vibe was definitely different when he stopped talking and then this guy tried to re-engage. So let’s go through his email because at some point you’re going to have things like this happen, especially if you’re going out and you’re in the bars or the nightclubs or at parties with drunk people or whatever, this shit’s going to happen.

So you’ve got to have a good attitude about it and not be so humorous. And especially if it seems like she’s not really interested and she’s not as enthusiastic to talk to you. You can just say, “Hey, it was great chatting with you girls. Hey, come by and catch up with me later before you leave, I’m going to get back to my friends.”

You know, in this case, if this guy’s that obnoxious and taken over and he’s doing this, I would I just put my hand out. “Excuse me for a second.” It’s like, “Hey, it’s great chatting with you. I’ve got to get back to my friends. But, you know, come see me before you guys take off.” And like, “Hey, nice meeting you. You know, good luck with your home repairs or whatever you guys going to do. You know, I’ll talk to you later.”

And then go and hang out with your friends. And if she really likes you, she’ll come over and talk to you. If she was just hoping you went away, then she just will walk out and leave and you’ll never see her again. So it’s not a big deal. So you want to be totally indifferent. These things are going to happen. So you always want to have a better, more playful comeback.

And you know, again, if some drunk, obnoxious dude comes in and takes over and it’s her neighbor, you can’t say, “Hey, buddy, I was making progress here. Get the fuck out of here! What are you doing? I’m trying to get my dick wet tonight. What are you doing? You’re cock blocking me.” You’re not gonna, you know, obviously come out and say shit like that.

But, you know, if a guy takes it over and he’s being obnoxious and she’s willing to entertain this, then I would use an excuse to do that. “Hey, come see me before you leave.” And and then excuse yourself and go back to your group of friends or what you were doing. “Oh, hey, you know what? I’ll let you guys talk business. Hey, come see me before you leave, and we’ll continue our conversation.”

And then go and do something else. Go talk to some other people or whatever. Even if you’re alone, go talk to other people. You know, because you look at it, you’re like, this guy’s drunk, he’s obnoxious. I don’t really want to fucking talk to him. Obviously, he knows the girl. I’m not going to get in the middle of that. It’s like, let them talk it out and then she can come over and talk to me. I’ll save her from this guy.

Viewer Email:

Hey Corey,

I just found your videos and book and am learning a lot. I had something happen to me last week and I’m not sure what the proper way to react to it was. I was talking to a girl at a bar having a great conversation, smiles back and forth and eye contact when all of a sudden this drunk guy cut in and started talking to the woman. He kept repeating himself about helping out at her house.

He was not hitting on her as they were neighbors and his wife was next to him. When he finally got bored I talked some more to the woman but she started looking at her friend on the other side of her more. I wonder if I did the right thing by letting him ramble on, should I have told him to cool it or would that make me come as insecure?

Should I have moved to a different spot at the bar and rolled the dice on if she would have followed me? It’s not a situation I’ve seen in your videos or book yet, I’m about halfway through.

I would have told him to cool it. I would have looked at it and been like, you know, I want to have a good time. This is her drunk, obnoxious neighbor. You know, this is her problem. This is not my problem. I like the girl. She’s cute, but I’m not going to stand there and listen to this drunk dude ramble on because the place is full of beautiful women, and if she likes me, she’ll come over and talk to me, let them deal with their home improvement business or whatever the fuck they got going on.

And then maybe she’ll come up and talk to you later. Because I also wonder, you know, because it’s either he allowed this guy to totally derail the conversation and ruin the vibe or the guy and his wife were basically she had to look like, “Hey, come save me from this guy. I don’t really want to talk to him.” It might have been the former, but I don’t really know.

But either way, if either scenario happens, that’s why I’m talking about it either way because this guy needs to learn from this. And so when you’ve got a drunk guy like that and they know each other, it’s like, I’m not going to try to compete with a drunk and I want to talk or engage with an obnoxious guy that repeats himself every five seconds.

And so again, I would just excuse myself. I’d say, “Excuse me.” It’s like, “Hey, Bob, it was nice meeting you. You guys obviously have got some business and some home improvement things to talk about. So I’m going to get back over to my friends and you know, I enjoy chatting with you. So come see me before you leave. And hey, it’s nice to meet you. Nice meeting you Bob’s wife or whatever. And it’s like, I’ll talk to you later. I’ll see you later.”

And then go back to your friends and do whatever. And then if she comes over and she says, “Oh, sorry about my neighbor.” I was like, “Yeah, the guy was pretty drunk and repeating himself and I didn’t really want to listen to his, you know, shitty sales job. And so I wanted to leave you to it. And I figured you come back over and we can pick up our conversation where we left off. So how you been? Obviously, you missed me. It’s nice to see you again.”

And then you just pick up right where you left off. If not, if she really was trying to get rid of you. And, you know, I wouldn’t be looking at her directly. Like staring at her. You know, it would just be go focus on somebody else if you see out of the corner of her eye. She just leaves with her friends or leaves with that group of people then obviously she wasn’t that interested. And it was the easy way to walk away and not make it look bad, not make it awkward for anybody, yourself or her. It’s just like you don’t give a shit.

You know, again, you decide ahead of time you want to have a good time wherever you go, and you’re not going to waste your life with some drunk, obnoxious guy and his drunk sales pitch on one of his neighbors about home improvements or whatever it is he was trying to do. So that’s how I would handle those kinds of situations. Because if she likes you, she’ll come over. And if she doesn’t, it makes it easy for her to dip.

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