We Kissed, But She Wanted To Escape From Our Date. Should I Ask Her Out Again?

How to know if you should ask her out again if she seemed to want to escape from your 1^st date.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has read 3% Man, about 10 times and recently met a woman who knocked his socks off. He says he got pretty drunk and tried to get her to come back to his place even though she had plans with her friends. He says it felt like she was trying to escape from their date. Now he wonders if he should contact her to ask for a 2^nd date since he hasn’t heard from her. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “We Kissed, But She Wanted To Escape From Our Date. Should I Ask Her Out Again?”

Well, this particular emails from a guy, he says he’s read 3% Man about ten times. And he recently met a woman that really knocked his socks off. So it’s obviously a lot harder for us guys to do everything right when we really like a girl. So he had a first date with her and he admits he got pretty drunk.

A little too many margaritas, and he tried to get her to come back to his place when she was jonesing to get out of there and go meet up with her friends. And now he’s like, should I even ask her for a second date? Because he hasn’t heard from her since then.

Viewer Email:

Hello Coach,

I’ve been following your work for a few years now and I probably read the book about 10 times, but I need your help, found the girl the know my socks off. I recently matched this girl on Hinge, She recently moved from Canada to Australia and I love that she, she’s super beautiful and hot. She’s a Fitness Influencer. And I asked her out after a few messages.

Well, is she a Fitness Influencer because she’s really helping a lot of women become fit and in shape? Or is she just posting a lot of camel toe thirst traps? Big difference. Because if she’s constantly seeking male attention and validation, dudes are sliding into her DMs and she’s constantly doing body shots, body parts, cleavage, and basically looking like a stripper with clothes on. That’s not a good sign.

That’s a major red flag, that you’re not going to be the only guy. Because there are basically two types of women. There are women for fun and women for family. And depending on what you’re looking for, you can’t get the two mixed up. Because when you try to turn a hoe into a housewife, well, hoes are going to do what hoes do. And they’re going to screw you over in a really bad way.

I’ve had two other dates the last month where I could definitely tell the girls were super into me, always asking questions like “why did you ask me out?” “How did you find me on Instagram?” “I like your style” blah blah blah, they both were very touchy at some point too. So on both occasions I kissed them at the restaurant/bar and took them home, win win!

Well, I assume that means that you had a nice session at the Indoor Olympics.

But with this Canadian girl was a bit different. We went on a drinks date yesterday on a Mexican restaurant, and I noticed she was not very touchy at all. She was asking a lot of questions too about my work and lifestyle, but I could not feel she was into me, or at least she was very good at hiding it, maybe because she a bit older than the other two, I don’t know.

Maybe she just had low interest. Again, that’s what you look for in the chapter, “It’s All In The Numbers” in The Book. It goes through what women do based upon their attraction level. And so it’s it sure sounds like she had pretty low attraction for you.

We had a few margaritas than moved to another bar to keep drinking. At some point, she paid me a drink and I kissed her as a “thank you”. We went back to our table, and we had a long kiss, it was pretty hot.

After a few minutes she asked her an Uber home because she had plans with her flat mates. I asked her if she was sure about it, I mentioned about going to my place first and then I could just drop her home on time for her “girls’ dinner” with her flat mate but she refused saying I was too drunk to do so.

I was like, “take me drunk, I’m home. I mean, I’ll take you home, I’m not drunk. I’m not as think. I’m not as drunk as you think I am. I’m not as think as you’re drunk I am, I’m just fine. I’ll be okay. I’ll just. People move out of the way. It’ll be great.” Come on Man, you shouldn’t be getting this drunk on a first date, Dude. Sloppy drunk. It’s just you’re like, “take me drunk. Go home.” So she’s clearly wanting to get out.

At that point I was very confused, she was not showing a lot of interest with her body language, then she paid me a drink and we had a long kiss and then she was trying to “escape” from our date giving me excuses. I’d love to know now if I should message her again for a next date, and how I should do that.

Well, you’ve been following me for years, and you’ve read The Book ten times. At least you claim to. And you’re going, “well, what do I do?” Really? Have you really read The Book ten times? Or maybe you just read it a few times and this is the first girl you’ve gone out with? I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going on, but that’s a rookie question. But I mean, at the end of the day, even if it felt like she was trying to escape, I would wait at least a week, maybe about 12 days, because you were pretty shit faced and she didn’t seem to want to hang out like she wanted to leave.

So I’d wait about 12 days and then reach out and just try to set another date. She’ll either respond and be excited to hear from you or she’ll give you excuses. So at least this way you can cross her off your list. But getting sloppy drunk like that, it’s a bad way to go. And then when you’re sloppy drunk, “Oh yeah. I think it’ll be fine. It’s okay. We’ll just run a few people over.”

I also considered in not texting her because an old bald philosopher used to say, “the best way to get someone’s attention is removing yours”.

Well, you just had one date. And so when that really applies, it’s when you’re kind of dating a girl and she kind of pulls back or is treating you like a second class citizen, it doesn’t mean you go ghost on her. It just means that you spread out the time in between the last time you spoke and saw each other, and the next time you try to initiate a date just to give her enough time to miss you and become uncertain of where she stands with you. Because it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.

And when you had a bad performance like you did on this particular date, and it looks like she’s trying to escape, it would be better to wait about 12 days or so, just because maybe you’ll catch her in a different head space and her feelings will crept up on her. And she’ll wonder, “what ever happened with that guy? He was pretty drunk. Maybe he met somebody else. Maybe he crashed his car. Maybe he’s in jail.” I mean, who knows? But this way, you spread it out.

Because it’s also maybe she reaches out to you, but you shouldn’t be expecting after one date, especially a date where the girl is trying to escape, that she’s going to start pursuing you. That typically happens, like I discussed in The Book, after the second or third date when you actually sleep with her, that’s usually when she starts pursuing. But to go out on a date and be sloppy drunk like this and then expect her to start pursuing you, it’s I would.

If you don’t reach out, you’re probably never, ever going to hear from her again. And it’s also possible when you reach out to her, she’s not going to want to see you again just because you were sloppy drunk. So you got to have some self control, dude, and to go on a first date and get sloppy drunk and then tell, “oh, yeah, I’ll drive you home. Take me drunk. I’m home. It’s gonna be fine. I’m not as think as you drunk I am.”

And when I don’t text a girl after a date, they normally text me first asking when they can see me again.

They only do that when their interest is really high. That’s why I say give it about 12 days.

Is this a good option in this case, especially because she showed hot and cold behavior at our date, or I should try and set another date after a couple days?

I would wait 12 days. Just give it more time because as the time goes by, she’ll look at things a little differently. And you’re trying to see if maybe she’ll reach out to you if you stretch it out a little bit.

Thank you, a lot, for all the content you’ve been sharing on YouTube plus the book you wrote to help men like me.

Have a great day,

Bob

Well, you’re welcome, my man.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.