We Spent 6 Days Together, But Now She’s Gone Cold. Why?

Why a woman sometimes goes cold after you spend a lot of time together & how to respond.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a 35-year-old viewer who’s read 3% Man three times over the past three years. He knows he’s been a lazy student. He met an 18-year-old girl he really liked who was blowing up his phone for several weeks. They spent six days together barely leaving his bedroom. She left saying she’d miss him until she saw him again.

Then she went cold and he’s confused as to what happened and what he should do now. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Well, first and foremost you gotta remember, women are like cats. Men tend to be more like dogs. Cats are kind of moody and they’re kind of fickle. Sometimes they’re pretty clingy and they want to sit in your lap and purr, and other times they don’t want anything to do with you, and you can’t take it personally. That’s just the way kitty cats are. So don’t take it personal.

This particular email is from a guy who is 35 years old. He says he’s read 3% Man about three times over the last three years, and he admits he’s been a pretty lazy student. So he met an 18-year-old girl who he really liked. She was blowing up his phone for several weeks and they spent about six days together, he said barely leaving his bedroom. Then he said she left, telling him that she would miss him until they saw each other again. Then she went cold and now he’s like, “She was all over me, FaceTiming me all the time. I’m like a second class citizen. It’s like the kitty cat doesn’t seem to care no more.”

Viewer Email:

Corey,

I hope all is well and thanks for helping me in my journey.

I have to admit I’ve only read the book three or four times over the course of three years and have been forgetting the next steps and shoot myself in the foot.

Well, you got to participate in your own rescue, dude. I say it all the time. You cannot cherry pick these videos and ignore the amount of time that you need to spend to commit the book to memory.

You got to read it 10 to 15 times because as it says in the beginning of the book, each time you go through it, you’re going to maybe retain 6%, 7%, 8% of the material and on a 250 page book that’s going to take you 12, 15 times, because you have to get to know the material so well, you don’t have to think about it. You can actually teach a class on it. If you don’t know that, then there’s just too many things that the average guy is going to do and say, because that’s what we see in TV, in the movies, and we, in essence, have been brainwashed without even realizing we’ve been brainwashed since the time we were little boys and girls. Then when we grow up and we see all these dysfunctional archetypes on TV and in the movies, we in essence, behave and become emotionally anchored to all those dysfunctional ways of being. Women are taught to act like men and be masculine, and men are taught to act like women and be feminine. What that does is it ruins the sexual polarity, not only in heterosexual relationships, but it ruins them in gay and lesbian relationships as well. You have to have highly polarized relationships to keep both people really attracted to one another. The more people act similar and androgynous, then your feelings become more platonic than sexual and romantic. So it’s important to keep things balanced.

I am a 35-year-old man and single living between Florida and Los Angeles. I met this hot model that’s 18 in Los Angeles and she was blowing me up for weeks. She was doing 100% of the pursuing, FaceTiming and texting me and begging me to come back to Los Angeles to hang out with her.

Super high interest. She’s into him. She has a perception at this time that he’s the man, he’s a catch. He’s the older man that’s got his shit together. He’s a world traveler. So she’s built this fantasy in her head of who he is, and she wants to be with him. She wants to experience him and his strength. However, once they spent a bunch of time together and because he wasn’t a very good student, he’s probably still saying and doing a lot of things he should have corrected by now because he’s been lazy and cherry picking videos here and there, which may be great for helping you get laid occasionally or is, but you don’t really take the time to read the book 10 to 15 times, then you’re going to have a hard time transitioning out of the pickup and early dating phase and into the relationship phase. What will happen is you’ll get together, like this guy did with this girl, she’s all over you, and instead of her falling hopelessly head over heels in love with you and wanting to be in a relationship, she gets to a point where she’s like, “Ehh,” she doesn’t really want to be with you anymore. So in essence, you talk and text her out of liking you and being romantically attracted to you and being sexually turned on by you.

When I came back, we had an incredible date and hardly left my bedroom for legit six days.

Well, congratulations! The Indoor Olympics lasted for six days. If you spend that much time with somebody you barely knew, then you should expect a pullback. You should expect her to go and do other things and to kind of miss you, but because we know he was kind of a sloppy student, there was probably lots of things he was doing and saying when he was with her that he just didn’t even realize because he didn’t have the self-awareness, because he didn’t take the time to learn the book. So as the six days went on, instead of her getting more turned on and into him, she started getting more turned off.

After the last day together, she told me she would miss me and see me soon, which was the first time she didn’t set the next date.

In other words, she left and didn’t bring up getting together again. So we have to assume that now the kitty cats got a little bored. I mean, you go from barely knowing each other to living together for six days and fucking each other’s brains out. You should expect a pullback. She got her fill, so you got to be able to just let her go after the last day together. She said she would miss him and obviously she didn’t set the date.

Before, every time she would leave she immediately made another plan to see me and was super in to me.

Yeah, because she had high interest and on some level, she’s probably worried that she wouldn’t see him again, that he would get tired of her.

Now it’s been about four days and I really haven’t heard from her much at all.

I know there’s a few reasons it might have happen: 1) I was certainly into her and got too googly eyed with her. 2) There’s another guy.

Definitely possible.

Or 3) She’s 18 years old and wants to go do other things.

Well, if you spent six days together and she goes cold and she’s still been kind of lukewarm, you should kind of expect that, but I would suspect because he’s not been a good student, he probably was doing and saying things that made himself look unattractive, and he really had no idea if he was doing it because, again, he’s barely read the book three times in three years, so he’s maybe got 20% of it. You can learn enough to get laid for a week or two, but typically start to fumble the football.

I guess my questions is how can a girl go from FaceTiming me, spending six consecutive days with me telling me how much she likes me, etc., to going awol? I know you say don’t take it personal but it certainly is difficult not to.

Anyways, I am back reading your book again and committed to reading it at least four more times by the end of the year (It’s July 5th).

Bob

Four times by the end of the year. Dude, if you put the audio-book on on two-speed and you follow along in a digital physical copy, you can get through it in four hours. So that just tells me most people major in minor things. So you’re really not even taking this seriously. This girl has gone cold, you should get through the book a couple of times, at least in a week, just so you can fill in your knowledge gap and start to see what you’re doing and saying that has turned her off so you can clean up your game. I would say after the six days for her to kind of go cold like that, you spend a lot of time together, so it’s to be expected, I would assume that there were just things you did and said that probably turned her off.

What I would do is I’d just wait to hear from her. Next time she reaches out, assume she wants to see you and make the next date. It sounds like you were strictly waiting on her to bring up getting together. Sometimes they’ll just stop doing that because again, you spent six days together, so it’s to be expected. A couple days go by and she reaches out, “Hey babe, I’d love to see you.” Just make the next date, hang out, have fun, hook up. Part of the problem is that you don’t know the book well enough, so you’re kind of going, “What do I do next?” You’re kind of guessing. You’re throwing darts in a blizzard, basically. So the fact that you’re kind of struggling, you went from doing great at the pickup and the early dating, but then kind of fumbled it after the fact.

Your job is to create the next opportunity for sex to happen, hang out, have fun while you’re hanging out and hook up when the signs are there that she’s ready to be touched, ready to be kissed. As the book says, if you don’t hear from her for a full week, then reach out, try to set the next date. If she’s unsure of her schedule say, “Hey, figure it out and get back to me. I’d love to see you,” and just leave it at that. When she does reach out after that, assume she checked her schedule. She’s ready to make a date. So be direct. Be decisive. Get right to the point. Don’t be going. “How are you? How have you been?” Just say, “Hey, it’s great to hear from you. What’s your schedule like?” Just assume that she figured it out and she’s ready to make a date. That’s all you got to do.

So it’s a slight pullback. Probably some things he did and said that turned her off. Again you can’t take it personally. Women are like kitty cats. The good news is you spend a lot of time with her, wound her up a little bit, but instead of her interest continuing to go up, it kind of went up for a while, then when you spent time together, it just started going down. So that’s not good. We need to turn that around.

You got to spend time with the book. I mean, it’s free to read it in the free Members Area of the website. So there’s there’s absolutely no reason not to take the time to learn the material. Saying you’re going to go through it four more times by the end of the year? You really like this girl. Do you enjoy that pain? Because that’s going to continue to happen every time you meet a girl you really like. You’re going to fumble the football. That’s just the seduction football, I should say. It just shouldn’t be happening. Especially following me for three years and you barely got through the book three times? That’s pretty half-assed, dude. You got to step up your game, homie.

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