What Are The Odds She’ll Be Back After Dumping When I Turned Her Off?

The odds that she will come back after getting dumped due to unattractive behavior.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has had an on again/off again relationship with his ex. He says due to his own insecurities and fear of loving and being loved, he acted unattractive too many times and she left him once again. He wonders if she’ll be back despite the emotional rollercoaster he put her though. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter in the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “What Are The Odds She’ll Be Back After Dumping When I Turned Her Off?”.

So this particular email is from a viewer. He’s had an on again, off again relationship with his ex, and he says due to his own insecurities and fear of loving and being loved. He just basically acted unattractive way too many times. And every time he does it, he acts like an emotional Jack-In-The-Box. It turns her off, and she dips.

And now he’s wondering despite the emotional roller coaster that he’s had her on for several years, and all he’s put her through, he still believes she’ll still be back. But you know, I’d say probably 80% of the guys that come to me are in a similar situation. They lost somebody they really liked due to their own behavior or ignorance of how attraction works.

And when they start focusing on reading 3% Man and implementing it. And then the girl eventually starts reaching back out. And through 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back and everything else I teach, they’re able to turn things around and rekindle it. So the other thing I’ve learned is, when you really truly own a woman’s heart, you own a piece of it, if you will.

And women will say things like that. You’ve got a piece of my heart. It’s like they’ll always stay in touch. That’s why I have ex-girlfriends going back over 20 years that are still in my life today. So not many guys can say that, that they have old (ex) girlfriends that think so highly of them that they’re willing to come on their podcast.

And just like Katie was willing to come on the podcast, and still stay in touch just because they want to know what I’m up to because they care. So it’s pretty nice as you go through life and you collect people that love you even if you’re not together, because that’s what true love is. When you really love somebody, you want them to be happy, even if it’s not with you.

Viewer Email:

Dear Corey, 

I’ve read the book close to 20 times, but still I lost the woman of the list I made while reading your book. We had a relationship of a year in 2019, we split up and didn’t communicate till the end of 2020, when we became friends and then friends with benefits. At the beginning of 2021 we both had other relationships. From June 2023 to January 2026 we have been friends with benefits again, and had an actual relationship without the label. 

Even though she was deeply in love with me, I couldn’t reciprocate because of my insecurities, fear of loving and being loved, and other problems. My brother is schizoaffective, that I didn’t deal with, and eventually she ended things because she was suffering too much.

Well again, don’t make your woman your mommy or your therapist. You’ve got to have your shit together and you’ve got to be a leader. It’s one thing to read the book 20 times, but again, if you turn your woman into your mommy and your therapist, that’s a quick way to dry her up and turn her off. So something that’s very helpful is doing a lot of Network Chiropractic Care.

And I would suggest starting with the Consciousness Exercises, which are on the home page of my YouTube channel. If you go to @CoachCoreyWayne on YouTube, scroll to the bottom. It’s Consciousness Exercises Stage 1 through 12 that are demonstrated by Doctor D’Anna. If you do those three times a week, spend an hour, hour and a half in front of your big screen TV, doing it on the floor, in your living room or wherever you have your big screen. That’ll make you feel a lot better.

And if you can afford it, I highly recommend you go spend at least two weeks in Orlando or Winter Park, specifically where Doctor D’Anna’s office is. Obviously, you want to call and make sure he’s going to be in town for the two full weeks, but you want to get worked on in the morning, in the afternoon, as many times as you can over the course of the two weeks. And obviously he’ll be working with you and the Consciousness Exercises, and whoever the facilitator that he has. And that can really help.

Especially because part of your problem and the why you keep going back to this is that it’s a pattern that you’ve rehearsed so much, it’s literally ingrained in your physiology. Your muscles and your spine. In other words, as they say in network care, the shape and tone of your spine is the shape and tone of your life. And what’s beautiful about network care is it can help you get out of those patterns. I mean, just think about it from this perspective. What is the physiology of somebody who’s depressed?

Their shoulder is going to be rolled forward, their head is going to be cranked forward. In a fear of the future pattern, because that basically, the C5 vertebrae, when your head goes forward all the way, it’s like a way of checking out. In other words, the world is too difficult and you’re always afraid of the future. And so you’re, you know, whenever you see somebody their head crank forward like that, it’s like the way their reality filter is fear of the future. Fear of everything, fear of the unknown. And if you’re depressed, what happens?

Instead of your back being straight, you’re going to tend to be hunched over like this. And what happens over the decades is you’re living the muscles in your spine hold you in this position. And so as you go through life, you’re literally your whole reality filter is the reality filter of a depressed person or an emotionally hijacked person. And so by going to Network Care, it helps you drop all the muscle tension so your brain can reconnect to those areas of the body.

And what happens is your back starts to straighten out your shoulders roll back, your head goes back, and you’re in a peaceful and relaxed state of an alpha. Where your chest is out, your shoulders are back, your head is back. And you know, you’ll feel a hell of a lot better. And if you can swing it and you can afford it, I highly recommend going and spending a couple of weeks in Orlando with Doctor D’Anna, because it is life changing. It was life changing for me.

Even though she was deeply in love with me, I couldn’t reciprocate because of my insecurities, fear of loving and being loved, and other problems.

Just as I decided to finally go into therapy to heal myself, there was nothing I could do to keep her. I couldn’t convince her, there is another guy that she says she’s interested in, even though he doesn’t live in our city, and I gave her the 7 Principles to get an ex back speech. 

She wanted to stay friends and said she would hate my absence, that she wanted to keep seeing me, and I trust her with all my heart, because I know she’s a woman of value. We really have a deep emotional, spiritual and physical bond that goes beyond the romantic aspect. She’s not like the others and I can’t stand the idea of losing her.

That’s why you’ve just got to let her be. The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. You never try to keep somebody who doesn’t want to keep you. If she just wants to keep you in friend zone while she goes and dates and sleeps with other guys, emotionally that’s going to be horrendous for you. Because what you will do is make it easy for her to meet somebody else and move on.

And then you’re thinking that you’re going to get somewhere and she’s going to come back, and then she goes and gets with somebody else and in a relationship, then it’s going to take you probably a year and a half to get over it. So that’s why you go No Contact. You say, “I’m not interested in something platonic. I’m interested in sex and romance, or we can go our separate ways. But you’ve got my number. Hit me up if you change your mind.”

I’ve been in no contact for three weeks. I know we’ll be something in the future, maybe only friends. 

Well, the only way you’ll be friends only is if you agree to it. So if you’re interested in sex and romance, you can’t ever agree to something platonic. If she wants something platonic and you want something romantic, then you’re just not going to be able to hang out with her.

You can say, “Well, maybe someday when I get over it and I have a new girlfriend, maybe we can go on a double date or something like that. But right now, for the foreseeable future, I want you to move on with your life. I’m going to move on with mine. Because if we keep hanging out, especially if you’re dating somebody else, it’s going to make it very difficult for me to move on. And I’m just I’m not interested in that.”

Because I’ve never had a bond like this with anybody else, but I feel lost. I keep training and working but I’ve lost my appetite, I have bad sleep and dreams and poor motivation.

Thank you for all your work.

Bob

Well, at the end of the day, this isn’t a microcosm, this is what life is like. Like Andy Andrews said, “We’re either in a crisis headed for a crisis, or we’re coming out of a crisis.” So when you have these shitty parts or weeks or months or even years of your life, you just have to keep moving forward. You’ve got to continually ask yourself, “What do I have to get done today before I go to bed? What is a must in order to move my life forward?”

And you’ve just got to keep moving forward because at the end of the day, we’re all going to die anyways. So in 100 years it’s not going to fucking matter. And so you might as well keep moving towards the things you want, even if it looks hopeless. Like in this case, even if it looks like she’s never going to come back. That’s why you need to continue mastering this. And what would really help you. I know you don’t feel like it, but what would really help you is to get out there and start meeting and dating other women so you can practice what’s in the book.

Because it looks like you’ve only been practicing what’s in the book with this girl. And, you know, because you’re so emotionally invested, it’s really hard to do more things right than wrong when you’re emotionally hijacked. And again, that’s why I highly recommend, if you can afford it, go spend a couple weeks in Orlando with Doctor D’Anna and let him work you over and help get your physiology and your nervous system back to a peaceful and relaxed state, because you just won’t feel this way anymore.

It’ll be like night and day difference, but the very least, do the Consciousness Exercises three times a week. They’re on the home page of my YouTube channel. Because they will absolutely, completely change your life.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.