What Do You Do When All Hope Is Lost?

What you should do when you feel like all hope is lost and things will never get any better.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a viewer who was in a very dark place before finding my work. He had no girlfriend, and his social circle consisted of family and “friends” who were mostly negative and sandbagged his goals and dreams. He even contemplated taking his life at one point and then looked at his dog while out for a walk at how happy he was with him. He had raised his dog since he was a puppy and thought how selfish an act it could be on those who did love him.

Two years later, he’s in great shape, he has a great career and an amazing girlfriend. It’s a great success story that no matter where you are or how bad things seem, with enough time and the right strategies, you can completely change your life for the better. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

I think this is a great success story, because I know people come to me and they don’t typically show up on my YouTube channel because things are going well. They’re there because something has gone sideways, and they’re trying to figure out what they can do to turn things around. And this is a great success story that took place over the course of the last couple of years, even through all the lockdowns and stuff that we’ve had.

Viewer’s Email:

Hi Coach,

I’ve emailed you in the past about how reading your work has completely changed my life. Even with this last year that has halted so much. I now believe in keeping a positive mentality throughout any challenge will only result in reward in the end.

So, after many years of being a beta bitch with no purpose, women or true friends in my life and being at my lowest point, so low I questioned the idea of suicide, and as strange as it sounds, I was walking my dog, who I’d raised as a puppy and looked at how happy he was with me, and I began to realize how selfish an act could be on those who did love me.

I’ve had this experience in my own family. My dad’s fiancee took her own life, and my dad really struggled with that, because they were engaged to get married and it was hard for a couple of years. And he read a book, I don’t remember the title of it, but what made it easy for him and helped him move on was that people that do take their own lives, they have convinced themselves that the world and everybody else will be better off without them. It’s a place where they come to.

My dad took that very personally, but at the end of the day, it’s a very selfish act and once it’s happened and there’s really nothing you can do about it. You have to accept it, because when you don’t, you just suffer. My dad suffered for a couple of years after that, so it’s an incredibly selfish thing to do to all the people that you leave behind.

You know, what’s interesting is people that have jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and some of those other high-up things then lived, the first thing that came to mind once they jumped was how small and insignificant their problems seemed and how easy they could be to overcome. And they wanted to live on the way down. And obviously, these people lived because they lived to tell about it. But that was the first thing they thought after they jumped. The first thing that popped in their mind was how silly it was and how everything was solvable with enough time. So I thought I’d share that with you.

I decided to make a change, and by fate in 2019, not too long after those thoughts, I stumbled across your work on YouTube. I loved your positivity. You said things that I’d kept telling myself, and it was reassuring to hear. That’s when I realized the people I had around me were very negative.

I don’t know who said it, but there’s a quote out there and it goes something like this, “If you think you’re really depressed, first make sure you’re not surrounded by assholes.” Therefore, you want to make your life an asshole free zone. Cheers to the Teespring mugs, at the Coach Corey Wayne store, if you’re so inclined, to remind yourself to keep your life asshole free, because there’s plenty of them in the world. All you’ve got to do is get out on the road, and they’re everywhere.

You see, I’d always been very talented at drawing, and I think the friends (and some family) I’d grown up around couldn’t accept my growth/potential and kept putting me down and neglecting me from nights out or social gatherings.

Well, you’ve got to remember, most people tend to major in minor things. And deep down, they know they should be striving for more, that they’re living a life that’s way less than they’re capable of. And so, when you decide you’re going to do something and go and try to reach your full potential, they don’t like having their boat rocked, and that’s why you get attacked with all of that negativity. Because they’re trying to reinforce their model of the world.

They’re trying to reinforce the way they’re living. And so, they’re trying to sell you on why you should be more like them. Because if they can get you to be more like them, then it means all their life choices, as bad and as negative as they may be, are valid. And it actually causes them to want to stay stuck where they are. So, it actually serves you and it serves them for you to go for what you want, even when you have to leave them behind, because maybe someday they’ll think, “Well, he did it. If he can do it, I can do it.”

To then finding out they spread falsehoods about me behind my back. God, am I glad to be away from them, reflecting on it now!

Yeah, if you get a lot of negative people in your life that have no goals, no dreams, and no ambition, you can’t help but have that rub off on you. It’s like a negative tape. If you think about it, it’s like negative self-help. So, if you’re surrounded by people that have negative self-help that they’re constantly spouting, that’s what you’re putting in your mind.

Whatever you focus on expands, and so eventually, with enough of that being immersed in that kind of a negative environment, you’re going to start to think like them. Your actions that you take and the actions you fail to take are strictly determined by what you’re telling yourself in your mind, the story that you tell yourself. And we all have stories that we tell ourselves about everything in life, whether it’s our bodies, or our relationships, or our life, or our career, or our business, whatever it happens to be. People that don’t reach their full potential, it’s because of the story that they tell themselves.

Just like Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, either way, you are right.” He understood, even back then, that it’s all about your mindset and what you tell yourself. And I go into extensive detail in my second book, “Mastering Yourself,” on all the struggles that I went through in in my life and how I overcame them. And it’s a great compliment to “How To Be A 3% Man.” I mean, the strategies that are in this book will help you optimize your personal and your professional life.

And the reality is, most people simply aren’t willing to do that. That’s why socialism and communism and having the government take care of and solve all your problems feels so good to most people, because wouldn’t it be nice if you didn’t have to worry about paying your bills? Wouldn’t it be nice if you just got a check from the government every month deposited in your bank, and you could just do whatever you wanted?

The government will protect you and take care of you, but the reality is, I think most of us see that most of these idiots that are in the governments throughout the world are just incompetent fools that feel good about themselves by trying to run and regulate every aspect of our lives. That’s why you see so many obese and out of shape and really messed up people in government, that basically stay in government even when they’ve got dementia, even when they can barely move around. And yet, they literally die at their desk after decades of being in office. And that’s that’s not good.

As Steve Jobs said, “death is life’s change agent.” And unfortunately, we’re at the mercy of these people that just can’t let go of power, because it’s the only thing that gives them significance in life. And so, we’re stuck having to put up with their B.S. and their incompetence and stupidity. But the promise that, hey, they’re going to take care of you if you just vote for them, it really sounds good.

Self-help is not easy. Taking control of your own life is not easy. Same thing with self-defense, whether it’s guns, or jiu jitsu, or martial arts, or whatever you happen to do. It’s much easier to just delegate that away to somebody else. Or something as simple as asking for a raise from your employer. Most people just simply won’t do it, because they don’t want to rock the boat. And if they don’t get the raise, how many people are willing to say, “Alright, I’ll just go look for a job somewhere else then, and screw you”? I mean, that was always my attitude. I’m not going to sit around and wait for a handout. You’ve got to go out and get the things that you want in life.

So, I removed all negativity from my life. I removed toxic people from my phone, socials and in person interactions. I started working out and creating a routine.

It’s so important to have routines and success rituals, if you will. These are things you do on a constant, daily basis. Like, for me, the first thing I do every morning is I get up and I run a couple of miles. And there’s plenty of days I get up and I’m like, “I’m kind of sore. I’m kind of tired. I don’t really feel like doing this,” but I always feel better after I force myself to do it.

The same thing with making green juice and smoothies and all these things — all the stuff I talk about health-wise that’s in “Mastering Yourself” that I do. Most people aren’t willing to do them, but I don’t really have a choice, because of different ailments I’ve had over the course of my life and skin problems I’ve had. It’s the only thing that keeps it at bay and keeps me healthy. That’s why I stay motivated to do it, even though it’s a real pain in the ass.

Working out at 6 am in the morning, heading to my studio at 8 am and spending my hours in there until late in the evenings.

So, that’s what you do when you love something and you’re obsessed about it. You just lose yourself in the process. And in his case, he’s losing himself in his art and what he’s creating, because he loves it and he’s obsessed about it.

That hard work paid off, and now I have a permanent role creating illustrations for a magazine here in the UK, creating drawing workshops via Zoom and a picture book which will be released by a top publisher across the world in September, with more to follow.

See, just like all the benefits of having an asshole free zone. You got rid of all of those boat anchors, all of those people that told you you couldn’t do it, and immersed yourself in my videos, you learned what was in “Mastering Yourself,” what was in “How To Be A 3% Man.” You applied these things, and you got the results. I like to say, these two books are going to give you the cheat codes to life, your personal life and your professional life. All the cheat codes are in here — how to completely optimize your life and get results, way better than anybody else that you know.

I would love to send you a signed copy of my book as a thank you for all the advice, that has improved the quality of my life drastically. If you have a business address to send it to that’d be great! As you mention in your work, focusing on your purpose will draw women to you.

It’s absolutely true. People can see it. I remember back when I was in real estate and we had that big office, whether it was a customer coming in there or people from other companies that we were doing business with, people always said, “It’s just buzzing like a beehive in here. People are happy, they’re excited, it’s full of high achievers in here,” and they knew something special was going on there. And so, we really didn’t have to go looking for people. People tended to find us and wanted to come be a part of our team.

It did exactly that! I’ve been in my longest relationship with a wonderful woman for over a year now. She’s incredibly supportive of my goals.

That’s super important. If a woman doesn’t support your goals and dreams, she’s the wrong one for you, end of story. That’s it. If she doesn’t support, and love and cherish, and celebrate what you do and she’s not your biggest cheerleader, she needs to be gone from your life. She’s a boat anchor. That’s just the way it is. You can’t achieve your full potential when you have sedition in your own house.

We work together as a team and she can’t keep her hands off me most of the time. The sex is incredible! I’m fully in control of my masculine core, and I now attract high-quality people into my life.

For anyone who watches or has only partially read your work. Seriously, from viewing my own success you need to fully immerse yourself in the Coach’s teachings. It won’t happen overnight, it takes time, investment in yourself and the rewards are truly wonderful.  I would be really happy for you to share my story with the community, and hopefully for anyone else struggling, it can be a catalyst to make a change in their lives.

Best Wishes,

Bob

Well, dude, over the years, that’s exactly what this video is going to help do. There will be people that’ll come, and this will be the first video they ever watch of mine, and they’ll be inspired by your success story. So, go get the cheat codes of life for free at UnderstandingRelationships.com. All you’ve got to do is subscribe to the email newsletter.

And if you’re having a challenge in your personal or your professional life and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

“Success in any endeavor in life comes down to your actions and the strategies that you use to optimize your personal and professional life, so you can achieve your grandest goals and dreams in the shortest time possible. Whatever you focus on tends to expand. That’s why it’s always best, when things seem hopeless, that you focus on what you must do each and every day before you go to sleep at night. Bad times never last forever. They sometimes may even last several years, but with an emotionally compelling vision of what you want to create for your life, an action plan to make it happen and the willingness to constantly change and adapt your approach, as you learn to optimize your results after each failure, eventually with enough time and repetition, you will finally succeed. Time is going to pass no matter what. So, it’s always better to be grinding towards your grandest goals and dreams.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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