What does it really mean to be yourself and live from your heart? It’s the hardest thing you will ever do. Who follows their heart? Most people do not. Why? It’s hard! We all came into this world being totally comfortable being ourselves. However, due to the process of living and the limiting beliefs of society, our family, our friends, neighbors, co-workers, and even those we love, we take on masks that are not authentically us so others will accept us and so we can feel loved.
For most people it’s not until the end of their lives that they finally have time to say fuck it. I’m going to be me. The late great actor Cary Grant only arrived at that place during his fifth and final marriage; only 2-3 years before his death. How sad that someone so loved and admired by millions spent most of his life trying to be something other than himself.
We human beings all have two primary fears. Fear that we are not enough and fear that we won’t be loved.
The more we shed our masks the more we see who in our lives really cares about us and who the posers are. When we let our own light shine through, the more uncomfortable the people around us who still have their own masks firmly in place do not approve of us.
That’s when it becomes time for us to take a stand and declare to them to accept us as we are or get the fuck out of our lives. The more detached we can become from our roles, stories, jobs, careers, relationships, friends, family, material things, etc. the more the people who really matter and who really care about and love us stand out; and the more what is really important to us for our own happiness and fulfillment reveals itself.
The most powerful negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. What truly serves, supports, and loves you remains. What does not falls away.
That is what surrender, letting go, and letting God is all about. The more we trust in ourselves the more magical life becomes. The more we move towards what we fear, the more the illusions and masks will dissolve and disappear.
What and who remains, will truly support and accept us and allow us to be the person God intended us to be. Do not be attached to anything as the only constant in life is change.
Trust that you are being guided and that a plan is unfolding for you. The more you let go and trust that God will catch you, the quicker you can move forward. God sent you here with a specific purpose in mind. The only way that can be revealed to you is for you to be who you really are. The more you accept yourself, the more you will accept others. The more you will see that everyone is just doing the best they can with where they are at in life.
Let go of any past regrets and feelings of guilt you may have. As one of my teachers says… “There is no imperfection; you’ve only ever done what you were meant to do.”- Panache.
You may think that “you” are the one behind all the decisions you’ve made in your life. However, the “you” is actually the field of the human mind. The part of us that thinks I am what I do, I am what I have, I am my reputation, I am my credit report, I am my bank account, I am this, I am that, etc. However, that is all an illusion.
The mind is the part of us that is always judging, always making comments, always saying this is good, that is bad, I like this, I don’t like that, this should be different, that should be there, that shouldn’t be there, etc. The mind is the donkey. However, for most of us the donkey is the one we listen to instead of the feelings in our heart. When we start to listen to our hearts, our feelings, or our “gut” so to speak, that’s when the donkey starts to become tyrannical and terrorizes us. It paralyzes us and creates all the fear scenarios of how things won’t work out, what we are going to lose, etc. The mind only sees limitations, obstacles, and problems. Our hearts or our divine connection to God within only sees the possibilities of what we can be. It knows how to get us from where we are to where we want to be if we would only trust it. We knew this as little children, but we have forgotten how amazing we truly are. By conquering our fears and having the faith of faith of a child or a mustard seed can we change the unchangeable, move the unmovable, and accomplish the impossible. The difficult takes a long time while the impossible just takes a little longer.
The more we listen to our hearts, the more we build our emotional muscle, and therefore the more calm and submissive the donkey becomes to the presence within. Then most of our moments will be filled with peace, tranquility, and inner joy. As many great spiritual masters have stated… “In my world nothing ever goes wrong.”
We will still feel fear from time to time, but when we do we must go within. To the presence that is always there, always peaceful, always calm and that always knows what to do. If we don’t take the time to relax, meditate, and go within it is impossible to listen to the wisdom of the presence.
The presence will take us thru the shadow of the valley of death so we can shed all of the fears of the mind and remember who we really are. We are a distribution of god taking place and one by one the fears of the mind will be destroyed for the illusions that they are.
Our greatest resource is our resourcefulness. When we think its over, when we’ve tried everything we can think of, when nothing seems to work out for us, or we are ready to throw in the towel, we must realize… we are simply lacking another idea. Go within and a solution will come. Most things will not work out at first. Why? God does not give us what we want right away. He gives us what we need for our own growth and evolution. He takes us thru hell so we can get to heaven. Heaven is a life free from fear and the tyranny of the mind.
As our irrational fears subside due to our constantly pushing thru them it builds emotional and spiritual muscle. It’s muscle that we use to lift even heavier weights in the form of bigger challenges. It does not matter how many days, weeks, and years we are on our journey to our goals. It’s about the journey and not the destination of our reaching our goals. Once we shed our fears about what we think we are capable of and what we really deserve in life, we come to realize that there is nothing we can not be, or do, or have in this life. It may take years or decades to realize a lifelong dream. God does not care how long it takes for us to realize he is always in our hearts and that we are divine. He only cares about the shedding of your doubts about yourself and what you are truly capable of.
Once you shed them all you will realize that life and living is a process. I’m a big Orlando Magic fan. They just lost to the LA Lakers in the finals. Last year they played hard but the Celtics made it to the finals and won the championship instead of the Magic. This year the Magic vanquished the Celtics. This year they were three games away from the championship they fought all year for. However, the Lakers wanted it more. Last year the Lakers lost in the finals to the Celtics. The Magic’s spirit was broken in game 4. Game five the Lakers put them away for good. Two of their stars, Dwight Howard, and Jameer Nelson, stayed on the court and watched the Lakers celebrate their victory and get their trophy. The Lakers did the same thing last year.
Will the magic do it next year? They will only if they as an organization want it more than anyone else in the league. They have a whole season to get thru just to get back to the finals again for another shot. There are 30 other teams that will be fighting for the same thing.
Will the Magic conquer their fear next year? It’s up to them and them only. The more they can accept the losses, setbacks and challenges of getting there again next year, the more likely they will be the ones who will be celebrating with the trophy and confetti falling on them.
However the morning after they win will be just another day.
The more they accept what is, the more joy they will feel in their hearts. Everything experienced authentically and accepted turns to joy. That includes fear, suffering, peril, hopelessness, etc. It’s all part of the human experience. Everything authentically experienced turns into joy. That is what god is after.
No matter what happens in life can you authentically experience it, accept it, bless it, and release it? That is what living is all about. To experience the totality of human experience and not let it diminish you, but make you more determined to be who you are.
The more you can be who you are, accept who you are, the more you will enjoy life and its journey; and the less you will focus on the destination. Because winning a race, making a million dollars, a championship, getting the girl, owning your own company is not what will bring you true happiness. Its true all those things are wonderful, however, if you can’t accept all of your moments for what they are, you will suffer and you will not find constant happiness and peace in your life.
The presence, the still small voice deep within your heart that is always peaceful, that simply is, is who you really are. It is the observer, the part of you that is within, always peaceful and always the sense that all is well.
The kingdom of God is within. As Jesus said: “all that I have done, you shall do also, and even greater things than these.”
We are all moving from our heads (minds, i.e. the donkey) to our hearts. Some of us faster than others, but that’s okay. The leaders (the word lead means to go first) make it easier for the rest of us to get there quicker and with less suffering, challenges, and hardship.
The more you accept who you are, the easier life will become and the quicker you will achieve your dreams.
As Marianne Williamson said:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles, Marianne Williamson, Harper Collins, 1992. (From Chapter 7, Section 3)
Are you riding the donkey or is the donkey riding you?
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur