What It Means When She Tries To Change Plans Last Minute

What it means when a woman tries changing your date plans at the last minute.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a 30 year old viewer who started dating and hooking up with a woman who later said she was moving in a few months and to not expect anything serious. He was fine with it. However, she changed the plans at the last minute several times and canceled their most recent date with him using the take away strategy. He asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “What It Means When She Tries To Change Plans Last Minute”.

Well, this particular email is from a 30 year old guy. He started dating and hooking up with a woman who later said she was moving in a few months and not to expect anything serious. He told her he was fine with it, handled it well. However, she changed the plans at the last minute several times and cancelled their most recent date with him using the takeaway strategy. And he asks my opinion.

So let’s see what’s going on here.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

I’m 30 years old and have been following your work for probably 10 plus years since I was in College. I wanted to get your take on a situation I’ve found myself in recently. I met a girl through work and got her number and we chit chatted a little bit with me trying to make a date with her.

The restaurant was closed since it was around 8:30 at night but she said I could still come over instead and I figured what the hell, let’s see what happens wondering what the first time hanging out together would bring. We hung out and talked and I was genuinely interested in her and asked her lots of questions, made drinks, and cuddled on the couch before escalating to the bedroom and doing the Indoor Olympics.

Yeah, if a girl’s just she’s trying to make a date and she’s like, “hey, well, restaurants closed. Well, just come on over.” That usually means she’s [pounds fist in and out]. Remember attraction’s not a choice. She already liked this guy. She opened the door and basically all he had to do was walk through it.

That’s what happens when you have high interest to start with. Makes it really easy. You guys that are struggling, trying to get these girls out on dates that are difficult. It’s like, when a girl really likes you, she just opens the door and all you’ve got to do is walk through it. Just like the Adam Corolla quote I’ve got in my book. And if the doors start slamming in your face, well, then you walk away.

Perfect. Hangout, have fun and hook up. I made a mistake by going along with a second date the following week during the day on a hike instead of a fun filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen. Face palm.

Yeah, that’s why if you want seduction to happen, you plan evening dates. Because if you’re going to do day dates or lunch dates or things of that nature, usually what’s going to happen is she’s going to schedule something else right after allowing enough time to go to lunch or whatever. It’s possible if her interest is high enough, she’ll cancel. But why make it more difficult on yourself than you need to be? You want to stack the deck in your favor. Because if you date enough women, you’re going to see, you’re going to get varying levels of interest. Most women are mediocre to okay interest in you, and some are going to be really into you. And the ones that are really into you, like this, they just make it really easy to get to the bedroom. But you know, he does the daytime date.

I scheduled another nighttime date in which she picked up food and brought it over to my house a couple weeks later. She was on her period and so we just hung out and enjoyed each other’s company and watched some TV.

Make sure you take note of when she’s on her period. It will be advantageous in the future to know her cycle.

I was able to make a definite date for the following week, but it resulted in some radio silence for about three days, and she ended up changing the date due to having to plan a baby shower all weekend and no longer had time.

It just shows she’s not super into it. And so if I’m a betting man, if the sex was spectacular, she’d have been coming back for more. If it was just okay, this is kind of what you get. It’s important, you’ve got to understand a woman’s anatomy and her body. Remember a worm? A woman’s nerve endings are all on the outside of her body. And the clitoris. Just like us, all/ most of the nerve endings are in the head of the meat missile. So just keep that in mind. Make sure you stimulate the right areas of her body. It’s not about pounding her pelvis. It’s about really making sure there’s enough friction on the little man. The little hooded bandit on the outside.

I said no problem, and we ended up planning an evening date for the Sunday. I said I was excited to see her, and she ended up ignoring my message until I reached out and made small talk. Facepalm.

So that just shows, you know, she left him on read, and he’s like, oh, he got worried. So you’ve got to be careful with those because you do enough of those, and she starts to realize, “oh, you’re a bitch.” And then she starts really jerking you around. That’s why you want your game to be tight. This is why I say read the book 10 to 15 times. So you just “poof” you’re like a laser beam. You know exactly what to do.

We chatted for a little back and forth until she again left the message and then sent a long message on how the Sunday date needed to be Monday now and she was going to be moving in a couple months and didn’t want to waste my time and was okay seeing me as long as I was okay with that.

So the reason a woman is saying something like that is she can kind of tell this guy is starting to get a little hooked. And when guys get hooked, most of them get a little obsessive and they get butthurt pretty easily and upset when you disappear. Or I should say, when she disappears. And the more she thinks you’re gonna get upset, the more she’s gonna change the plans to jerk you around. But again, a high priority woman is not going to do this. In other words, her interest is high. If her interest is kind of lower. That’s why I say if I’m a betting man, I would bet that the sex was just okay.

I didn’t have any other options at this time and so I was okay with still spending time together since it wasn’t taking me away from other women. Monday came and we had a nice evening date where I showed her around my area and took her out for dinner before settling down and having the Indoor Olympics twice.

So hopefully he redeemed himself.

We texted a little bit after she left and that was it. Two days later she texted me to check in on something that happened at work and to see how I was doing.

Well, that is a good sign because that shows her interest has gone up and she’s probably ready for another boom chicka boom boom. Hey, don’t bark at that. Don’t bark at my porn music.

I thought this was a good sign. I took it as an opportunity to make a dinner date the following week to which she stated she was excited to cook together.

Yeah, that’s important. I’ve seen guys emailing lately, they’re saying, “I made dinner for her.” I’m like, no you don’t. You don’t make dinner for her. You make it together. You do it together because it facilitates physical touch and interaction and seduction. That’s why you do it. And it’s fun. It’s more fun to co-create than to have an audience. But I know some guys like, “I’m a great cook, and I want her to see how good I can cook.” I was like, if you want to be difficult or whatever, it’s your life. You do what you want. I’m just, my goal is to remove all the obstacles that are in the way so you can get to the promised land as quickly and as efficiently and as few steps as possible.

I confirmed a day she was available and asked her if 3:00 P.M. worked due to slow cooking some meat.

It’s funny, slow cooking some meat. That’s like deadpan humor. He wasn’t even trying to be funny, but that’s funny.

This was on a Wednesday, and she didn’t open the message until Saturday. She still didn’t reply until Monday.

Well, this is why you do definite dates.

On Monday she texted the generic “Hey you” and I responded not about the date, keeping it neutral. This is the second time she’s kind of changed plans, so I wasn’t going to bring up getting together again. She said that her dad surprised her with tickets to a show and she wondered if we could do the morning instead.

So once again, she’s just like kind of put him on the back burner like he’s an afterthought. “Oh, I’m moving in a few months.” So in other words, she’s just showing him that he’s not really that much of a priority to her. And so therefore, you want to match and mirror that level of effort. And if you know, this is like the third or fourth time she’s doing this and so that’s when you do the takeaway.

I decided this was an opportunity for the takeaway and I thought she didn’t really value my time and could’ve told me this several days prior.

Correct. Because again, she’s like, “oh yeah, he wants my pussy. So he’ll wait.” That’s her attitude. As Doc Love used to say, “you’ve got to outwait and outwit women.” You’re trying to go slower than she is, even though she’s initiating contact at this point, it just shows that she’s not super into it. Because again, in the back of her mind, she knows she’s moving away.

I told her that unfortunately we would have to get together another time since I had made other plans after not hearing from her for awhile, but I reiterated that if she had a night she was free, I’d love to see her.

That’s perfect dude. Textbook. You’re letting her know in a way that’s like, “hey, I made other plans. I didn’t hear back from you. You basically didn’t respond for a week.” Which he didn’t say it that way. He just said, “hey, I didn’t hear back from you. So I made other plans.”

She asked about maybe the following week to which I said yes just let me know your schedule and let me know what works.

So it’s perfect. So he’s putting the ball back in her court and just saying, “hey, figure out your schedule and get back to me.” Because in other words, if he had other choices and other options, he’s not going to want to deal with a girl that leaves him on read for 4 or 5 days, then reschedules. It’s like, no, if you’re going to treat me like I’m an afterthought and I’m not a priority, I’m just an occasional booty call that’s convenient for you. Well, guess what? I’m going to treat you the same way. Remember, scarcity creates value. He’s not going to say these things to her. This is just what his actions are going to communicate. So good job on the takeaway. This is exactly the time when you want to use something like that. It just shows that you could take it or leave it, and you’re not going to wait around to get jerked around.

She wouldn’t give a specific day and time but agreed to this. My plan is just to continue on and wait to hear from her.

Yes, you must be congruent with that. I see a lot of times guys will say that, and then a week goes by and they don’t hear from her and they freak out and then they start pursuing again. You have to be okay with creating time and space for the woman to follow through on her plans and commitments, or to flake out and disappear from your life forever. So in other words, he’s giving her the space to disappear forever, or to reach out in a week when supposedly she’ll know her schedule, and then he can see her then. Just that, and doing the take away usually will be enough to give an attitude change to where she doesn’t do those things.

Do you think this is low interest by changing plans and not giving an exact counteroffer or legitimate excuses?

This is just low interest. Remember she’s going to leave town anyways so she doesn’t care. You’re a booty call to her and that’s exactly how she’s treating you. That’s why she’s just okay with getting together, bumping uglies, and wham, bam, thank you man. See you later.

I feel like I’ve made my interest clear and have hit the ball over the net and she has to hit it back.

That’s correct.

Sometimes she does though and we hangout and sleep together so I’m confused. 

Thanks Coach.

So again, you did the right thing. It’s just low interest. And, you know, obviously the puppies have high interest in annoying their mother and that’s why she’s snarling at them, because they’re always wagging their tails and sticking their faces in hers. And she’s kind of a cranky bitch. She don’t like it. So the puppies are a little needy, and she’s like, leave me the fuck alone. So take a hint like that. When a woman is just like, “oh, I’ll see you next week. Oh, I’ve got to make plans with my Dad. Oh, I’ve got to do something else.” It’s like when you’re getting that kind of stuff. It’s like, this was a really great email, Dude. So thanks for writing in and you did a great job.

You know, I think you did perfect. So you were flexible. You had the right responses. You inserted “The Takeaway” as soon as you realize that she was just like totally taking you for granted. And then on top of that, he basically said, “well reach out when you figure out your schedule.” He’s not going to continue pursuing. He’s in other words, he’s creating the conditions where she really is not that into him. She’ll just disappear, and he’ll never hear from her again. And then that’s it. But more than likely, if I’m a betting man, I would assume that in a week or so she’ll reach out and they’ll hang out and have fun and hook up.

It’d be great if maybe he could update us in a few weeks to let us know what happens if she does an attitude adjustment and she doesn’t fuck around with the plans anymore. Or again, if she does it again, you do “The Takeaway” again. Don’t let a girl waste your time because once she sniffs it out that she can do that, it’ll happen often. And usually they do it just to see if it pisses you off. So good job to the emailer.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

If you haven’t signed up for our Exclusive Premium Members Only Content in the video description is video. There are links to join on YouTube or you can join on Spotify or our Website UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just click the “plans” tab when you get there. You can do a seven day free trial to check out what content you get for your money. And at the end of the seven day free trial, if you choose an annual plan, you can get a 25% discount for paying the whole year’s premium upfront. So go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the “plans” tab at the top of your screen on any page, and sign up for our Premium Membership trial. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.