These are questions that have boggled men’s minds for thousands of years. Even the late great psychologist Sigmund Freud. He lamented despite all his success and study that he was unable to answer a simple question… “what does a woman want?”
Women are emotional beings. They want to feel the feelings of attraction to a man. They want it to “just happen” the way it does in a love story. It unfolds naturally for them.
Its not about who you are, its about letting who you are flow and intermingle with the essence of a beautiful lady that enchants you, but does not diminish you. A man who is comfortable with himself, is confident in going after what he wants, has goals and a purpose in life. A man who is in control of his own emotions and feelings and does not become a pleaser around women. He is the same way no matter who he is with.
Men that turn into pleasers around women are looking for a woman to make them happy. They are uncomfortable being themselves and do not act normal around women they like.
The needy guy smothers a woman he is attracted to. It makes her feel like she will lose herself in a relationship with him and not be allowed to be herself. This is because a needy man will need constant re-assurance of her love for him. If she becomes bored of him and pulls back, he can’t handle it. He thinks it will be forever. He fears this. This causes him to pursue more. She pulls away more because it feels suffocating. I have dated insecure women and that is how they make me feel also. It was surprising to me once I conquered my fear of women and learned how to interact and have healthy relationships with them, at how insecure needy women made me feel when I dated them. It was like the shoe was on the other foot. I realized how I made other women feel in the past when I still acted needy and insecure.
When a guy is needy and insecure, he pursues to get certainty about where he stands with her almost constantly. He literally chases her away. If he would just chill out, relax and be cool, she would come to him if he just gave her the space to do it and showed thru his actions that he would accept any outcome. An alpha male feels if a woman does not choose him, its her loss. They’ll be another bus along in 15 minutes. Life is too short to be trying to keep someone who does not want to keep you.
Guys tend to focus on their own interest level and project it onto her. They assume she feels the same, instead of paying attention to the signs. When she blows him off and no longer takes or returns his calls he is stunned. What happened? One minute he thinks he’s got the woman of his dreams and the next, she is gone! He has literally talked her right out of a relationship with him.
A man who has a purpose and mission in life is sexy to a woman. Why? He is confident and pursues his dreams relentlessly. As much as he may come to love her, he will not be deterred from his purpose in life by her. Even though she may beg him to blow it off for her, he will resist her. Chasing his dreams makes him feel alive and exciting. She shares in his successes and happiness. Its a thrilling ride. If he gives up his purpose and career for her, she will lose interest as masculine energy is all about breaking thru barriers and conquering the dragons so to speak.
I remember I had a girl on the back of my jet ski that was really hot for me. It was fast and had a lot of horsepower. It had such a powerful motor that I could adjust the jet thrust down and it would push this 600 pound jet ski under water like a submarine (even with 2 people on it). She held on to me tight and we jumped little waves and turned sharply. She screamed and yelled at me to stop and slow down, but I knew she was excited by the wildness of the ride (her smile and laughter said so). A man and a machine she could not control. A man who would do anything he wanted. She desired to let go and have me take her any way I wanted. Total submission to my desire and my will.
It really turned me on to know she wanted me that much. She would whisper in my ear and tell me. She was holding me onto me real hard and I knew she wanted me to throw her off the back and take her in the water. Its amazing as a man to know you can make a woman feel that way about you. It makes you feel powerful, successful and alive!
“Life in abundance comes only through great love.” ~ Elbert Hubbard
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur