When Brutal Honesty Is & Isn’t Appropriate

The importance of being empathetic, understanding and trying to put yourself in other people’s shoes when giving advice to friends, family or lovers so you don’t hurt their feelings and cause them to no longer seek your council, or want to spend time with you. How to know when it is appropriate and not appropriate to be brutally honest with people.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who has ejected all of the toxic people from his life. He is working to replace them with better quality people. Recently, he became friends with a guy in one of his classes. He basically started telling this guy that he had no confidence and did not understand women. He basically made his new friend feel like a pile of dog dung. He asks my opinion on whether or not his brutal honesty was too much for this guy to handle. They were supposed to hang out a few days later. The dude was a no show and has not returned his phone calls.

The second email is from a viewer who asks women he is seeing if they want him to listen or if they are seeking his advice during conversations. Lately they have mostly been seeking his advice. He says that when he gives them an honest answer, they usually disappear for several days and seem to become cold and distant. They don’t seem to handle the truth of his opinion too well. He asks me how he should approach giving women advice in the future when they ask for it so it does not drop their attraction and interest in him.

“People will not always remember what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel. A true friend is someone to whom you can speak aloud, and without being judged, being wrong for your opinions and with who you can give and receive loving, blunt and brutal honesty. Acquaintances or people who you do not know very well, will often not handle brutal honesty or truth without getting butt-hurt, pissed off or offended by you. Therefore, save your brutal honesty for your true friends and family who really know, love and understand you, and only give advice to people who ask for your honest opinion. Unsolicited advice from strangers or acquaintances is rarely welcome, sought, appreciated, understood or valued. The average person is simply not ready, willing, able or capable of being woken up from their ignorance. Some people simply can’t handle the truth. Carefully choose your battles.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne