Where’s This Going? Nowhere Now!

Here’s why you never ask women “where’s this going” when you are trying to attract or re-attract ex’s or women you want. When a guy starts asking a woman he is dating or trying to attract into his life, where their relationship is going, he communicates that he really does not understand how the courtship process and attraction really works. In every way in our society men are taught through the media to constantly be seeking a woman’s approval in order to get her to fall in love with them. Teaching men to act more feminine instead of acting more masculine, and teaching women to act more masculine and less feminine, is contrary to our natural essence. It also destroys sexual polarity. In the interest of political correctness and trying to keep from offending people, men and women in our society are taught to show up as anything other than who they really are. This feminization of Western society is destroying the family unit, and making a total mess of our relationships and human interactions. Thankfully, men and women who reject this false paradigm of the media are waking up in droves, and taking control of their dating and relationship life by focusing on improving the quality of how they show up in life, and who they choose to spend their time with. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the people you consistently spend your time with. The following is an e-mail from a reader. He gave his now ex-wife access to his bank accounts and assets once they got married. The funny thing is, she spent all of his money on herself and her friends, and not on him. He has recently found out about my work and is starting to realize how much of a doormat he was to her. Despite all of the crappy things she did to him, he has been trying to rekindle things with her. Some people only learn the hard way! My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:

Corey,

First, some background. I am 52 years old. I was widowed 9 years ago after my wife’s long bout with cancer. Soon after my wife’s death, I met a woman who just seemed to be perfect in every way. Yes, I had built the “data sheet” long before my wife passed, no disrespect to her. (You’re still here, she’s not. You got to live your life and enjoy every precious second. Someday, you’re time will be up too. Life is a gift. Enjoy it while it lasts.) This woman I met far exceeded my “requirements.” We dated nearly 3 years before being married. Everything was fine until I became primary breadwinner. Her only friend got divorced and her ex husband divorced; they got into her head. Upon my new role as breadwinner starting Jan 2009, being able to take care of her, which first husband couldn’t, she stopped helping pay household bills, and began blowing an enormous amount of money monthly. (It was foolish for you to give access to your bank accounts to someone who had no money or experience managing money properly. Let her keep her own bank account and you can give her an allowance, or she can get a job and spend money how ever she wanted. When I was married to my first wife, she was the same way. Shop and piss her paycheck away on trinkets and junk. She came from a wealthy family who spoiled her. She could not help herself. If she had available credit or money in the bank, she would shop until she was broke.) Taking vacations with her girlfriend, etc. and doing things that just weren’t right in a relationship. I attempted to stop her self destruction and vacations. I finally reached a breaking point where I told her it was girlfriend or me; she continued on. It all came to an end last July when she gave away a car to her niece, despite us still owing on it and knowing that I was facing layoff in 5 months. I took the car back, she packed. To me, a temper tantrum because I stopped letting her have her way. (No, she knew the jig was up and the gravy train was over. If things were so great between you two, she would have wanted to spend all her time with you. However, she chose to spend her time… and… your money… on other activities and people.)

Since then, she has expressed regret in her communications with me; which she has communicated to me much more. After reading your book about the 3% man, I see where she’s been shit testing me. The last one on March 3, which was my birthday. She knew I was out with a woman. She texted me about an issue. Instead of ignoring it, I ended up texting her back that I was tired of her fucking accusations and blaming. I was not the fucking problem with what went wrong in her life, be it her money or job. I haven’t heard back from her since. (Well, you basically told her off. But at least you were honest. She had treated you like a doormat for years and you took it. Women don’t love men they don’t respect.) I don’t feel any remorse for lowering the boom on her. I treated her so good. Even her daughter told me 2 years ago that I needed to stop it. (You should have listened to her. Most guys ignore things until its too late. You became her butler or man-servant.) That she’d shit on me for that. I continued to treat her as a queen, she bailed out on me. Oh yes, since we’ve divorced, I have seen her for about 6 weeks between Dec and first of Feb. I was seeing her once a week or so. Her body language seemed to show some interest, and she seemed interested in seeing me. Her words: “taking it low and slow.” When I did ask her where this was going, I think I ran her off, (Yep, you basically said, “Are we getting back together?” which was totally inappropriate. You brought up relationship talk when this is the woman’s department. You asked what a woman is supposed to ask. That is why you got rejected.) and I believe that right after the last time I saw her, she started seeing someone. (Good! She’s some other dude’s problem now. Let him deal with the drama and dysfunctionality. That way you can focus on attracting the perfect woman for you by meeting and dating as many new women as possible.)

So, I guess my question is: should I go back and apologize to her for the things I communicated to her? (Do you like the abuse?) Should I ignore her and see if she comes back? (Yep.) Should I write her off as a spoiled brat and a lesson hard learned? (Now you’re talkin!) If she did come back, I’m not sure I’d take her back, unless we saw some counseling. Also too, she turned 50 last year and I hear that women flip out at that age? (No, you trained her to walk all over you. She does not respect you because you let her get away with it for so long. She sounds like a messed up cookie that is now some other guys problem.) We were married 5 1/2 years. (You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)

Jeff

“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” ~ Chinese Proverbs