White Knights, Red Flags & Women With Many Male Orbiters

How to avoid becoming a white knight who ignores red flags and women with many male orbiters.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss three different emails from three different viewers. The 1st email is from a viewer who is a white knight trying to be Captain Savageau with a woman who is cheating on her husband with him. He thinks he’s going to save her. The 2nd email is from a guy new to my work who worries he is blind to the red flags of a woman he’s seeing who has many male orbiters.

The 3rd email is from a guy whose cheating lying girlfriend with too many male orbiters is trying to come back after two months and says that she’s changed and learned her lesson. He asks it that’s even possible. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the bodies of their emails.

A lot of these emails are really around vetting because there’s a lot of guys that don’t vet properly. All you got to do is take a trip through the dysfunctional Red Pill community or, I should say, the Red Pill cult.

The majority of problems that those guys have is they just suck at vetting and they’re still pissed off about it, so they point the finger and blame all modern women and “Hypergamy doesn’t care,” and all those other useless platitudes that are not going to really help you do better in the future. I’m sure some of the Red Pill cult members will be in the mentions complaining and “Oh, you don’t understand Red Pill, Coach.” It’s like yeah, I do.

I understand that the overwhelming majority of their influence is negative and is not helping dudes. I’ve had countless people, especially over about the last year and a half, two years, as it’s really taken prominence. Guys that were doing well with my work, they got into the Red Pill and their success just went to nothing. Got to the point where women just basically hated them.

All you have to do is look at these guys on some of these viral clips that are on Instagram. It’s pretty obvious that women don’t like these dudes very much, yet they make for some great soundbites. Jerry Springer just passed away a few weeks ago, and that type of trash TV, it’s entertaining and dysfunctional, but what’s it really doing to help people have a better quality of life and better quality relationships?

I look forward to all the crying Red Pill guys, the cult members crying in the comments, insulting me. That’ll be fun. Makes you guys easy to block and get out of here, because you’re kind of beyond redemption and hope a lot of them.

First Viewer’s Email:

Dear Coach Corey Wayne,

I hope this message finds you well. My name is Bob, a 26-year-old individual who is currently facing a rather complex, romantic situation. I have recently become involved with a woman who happens to be married for four years, despite her young age of 23.

So this guy is obviously a white knight. Seen too many Disney movies. Captain Savageau to the rescue. You get the idea.

It appears that her marriage has hit a rough patch…

The good news is, he’s here to save her from a rough patch.

…Leading to discussions about a potential divorce.

He’s very clinical in the way he describes this.

Over the past month, we have been engaging in an intimate relationship, mainly driven by her appreciation for my self-assuredness and confidence.

At the end of the day dude, you’re her piece. You’re trying to rip off some other guy’s girl who is willingly cheating and lying to him. If you think she’s going to be loyal and faithful to you, you’re as delusional as the dudes in the Red Pill community. It’s important to note that she has been. This is beautiful…

It is important to note that she has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Oh, it’s a little bit of a fruit loop. OK, sounds great. It’s going to be Mr. White Knight, Captain Savageau, save this woman with BPD from her bad marriage, while ignoring the fact that she has no integrity and she’s a liar and a cheater.

It is totally delusional to think that she’s going to be loyal and faithful to you when she wasn’t loyal and faithful to her husband and probably hasn’t been loyal and faithful to anybody she’s ever been with.

Despite the relatively short duration of our involvement, she has gradually expressed her thoughts on love and relationships.

Oh, how nice.

However, I have chosen to adopt a “Go with the flow” approach. During this time, I have noticed that she maintains conversations with other men…

I’m shocked. I can’t believe it. Other men besides you? You mean, she’s not only disloyal to her husband, but she’s disloyal to you? Huh. What a shock! I just can’t believe it. What an enigma!

…Although she openly discusses matters of love and relationships with me.

Well, that makes up for it, apparently.

We had good sex. She told me I was much much better than the rest of the men she was with.

You’re the number one side piece. All right, congratulations guy.

Recently, I have sensed a shift in her behavior, as she seems somewhat distant and less engaged.

Probably as you’ve started a pedestalized her because I do not think you’ve read 3% Man, and you do not know what’s going on. As she’s backed off, you’ve pursued more, which is driving her quicker into the arms of other men, which quite frankly would be a good thing because she belongs to the streets.

You don’t try to turn a hoe into a housewife, dude. Trying to rip off some other guy’s wife while she’s sleeping with you and sleeping with other guys and thinking, “Oh, I hope she chooses me.” Bad way to go. This is a guy that’s in a scarcity mindset. High value guys just simply are not going to get involved with this. Don’t mess with this. It’s just not worth your time.

You want to see what a high value lady is like? You can go to Instagram. The videos are starting to come out now on YouTube, some of them when Katie was here, my English girlfriend who you guys all have heard about.

For those of you that read the book, she was here about a month and a half ago and we filmed over two or three days, answered a bunch of questions that you guys sent in that you wanted to ask me and her. There’s a bunch of short reels that are now posted to Instagram and they’re slowly making their way to the rest of my social media accounts.

If you want to check out some of those, go to my Instagram @CoachCoreyWayne and check those out. You’ll see from the horse’s mouth even what, 16-17 years since we were together, still thinks very highly of yours truly, because, of course, I’m awesome. You can hear from her yourself. You can make up your own damn mind. Yeah, she’s amazing in person as I wrote about in the book.

Given these circumstances, I seek your guidance on how to navigate this situation effectively.

Well, if you’re a glutton for punishment and you want to keep hooking up with her and the thirst is real, I would never call her or text her for any reason.

When she reaches out, invite her over to your place. I wouldn’t be going out on dates with a woman who’s married, because you never know who you’re going to accidentally run into out in public.

If you want to live dangerously, then I would just have her come to your place, hang out and have fun and hook up, and she could stay the night or she can leave. Probably I guess she’s going to leave if she’s going home to her husband.

Other than that, I would not get involved with her and I would definitely wear a raincoat, because you obviously ain’t like the guys. Who was it, Dennis Rodman? I think he was talking about Madonna. He was like, “I wasn’t the first guy that was in there.”

I would greatly appreciate your professional insight and advice on how best to address and handle the challenges presented by her condition and the changing dynamics of our relationship.

Thank you in advance for your assistance.

Sincerely,

Bob

Well, you’ve got to read 3% Man. You’re not going to be successful cherry picking and trying to rip off some other guy’s wife. Come on, man. Do better. You got to step up your game, homie.

Second Viewer’s Email:

Hi Coach,

I have just purchased 3% Man, and am ready to be enlightened by your knowledge.

Well, congratulations.

Please help me out with this one. I have a question about a girl I have started dating. We have been out around 12 times over the period of around 2 months and I’m unsure if I’m becoming blind to the red flags…

Well, more than likely. If you have to ask, the answer is probably yes. Especially if you know yourself, you know your past and you’ve tended to do that.

…If she is for the streets or if I’m slipping back into insecure and needy behaviour.

I’d say probably a little bit of all of those.

She’s a single mom…

Oh, that’ll drive the Red Pill guys nuts. “Don’t date single moms. You’ll never be a priority.” Well if she’s in love with you, you’ll be a priority, but most of those guys are autistic dunces, and they don’t know how to attract and keep a woman interested in them. There’s a lot of cope going on there, but I digress.

…Works in a bar and nightclub…

Oh, those are just delightful. I’m sure she’ll be loyal and faithful to you.

…And has varied hours. I have to be real accommodating to her schedule. Sometimes she works to 2 a.m. or 3 a.m., and I fear she may bring people home after work.

Really? That would be shocking.

She openly talks to other dudes…

Well, if you’re supposedly dating her for two months and she’s constantly talking to other dudes, you’re just one of the guys. There are women that you hook up with, that you sleep with, that are sex playmates, fuck buddies.

I was hanging out with one of my best friends from high school and we were taking a trip down memory lane of some of the girls in our class. Now, keep in mind, this was Cardinal Gibbons High School. We’re the “Creme de la creme” of Colorado.

I love Cardinal Gibbons. It’s a great school. If your kids can get in there, I would highly recommend sending them there, because there’s a lot of cool people there. There’s a high concentration of the kids of very wealthy, successful people and you are who you associate with.

One of the things that’s great about going to a school like Gibbons or other private schools is the social network. It’s the people that you meet there. We get to go to school with very successful people. If you’re like a middle class guy like myself, I mean, I wrote about this in Mastering Yourself. I remember when I was in Sophomore in high school and I walked into my friend’s, he lived with his uncle, and his mansion is overlooking the Inter-coastal. I’d never been in a house so big. I was like, “I only saw stuff like that on TV.”

Being there and hanging out with him and his family and my other friends that we went to school with, that’s where the wheels started turning, where I started thinking, “I could do this. I could have a house like this. I could be successful like this one day,” because I was there, because I got to experience it.

However, my friend and I, we were talking about one of the girls who was really beautiful back in high school. She was a cheerleader. We all still love her to this day, but she was kind of a hoe back then.

We were talking about how one time, my buddy had gone out on a date with her, but just the week before, she had been taken it doggy style from another one of our friends while she was sucking the dick of another friend of ours all at the same time. Keep in mind, this might have been junior year, so she would have been 17 years old.

She slept with a lot of dudes, junior and senior year. She was beautiful and she was cool as hell. We all love her to death. We had a lot of fun. Cool chick, but where is she now? She’s married. She’s with her second husband. They’re pretty happy, but they’re both extremely overweight and unhealthy, but we still love them. She slept around, and that was just one of the girls.

There was another girl we were talking about, who was an absolute smoke show, and she slept with half the school, I think it was Saint Thomas, was another one. She had a lot of bodies. I think she had probably 50 bodies by the time she graduated high school or more.

You would never know. She looked innocent. She looked cute in her little Catholic school girl outfit. We were in high school and she was sleeping around left and right, and her parents were extremely wealthy, they were still together. For whatever reason, whatever the dynamic was going on in there, she was a freak and she was getting busy.

My friend and I, what we were talking about is, even though we love these girls who grew up with them, we’ve known them our whole lives, we were smart enough back then to know and understand that these are hookup girls. These are not girls that you wife up for obvious reasons. It’s common sense, or at least we thought it was common sense back then.

Then you got these Red Pill, autistic morons that all they do on their channels is have OnlyFans, girls, strippers and sex workers on there, and they present it to the world, “This is modern women.” These type of girls have always been around. You have to be able to understand who’s good family oriented girls.

Even the good family oriented girls, they weren’t sleeping with like one or two guys and then get married and spend the rest of their life with their husbands. Especially when they go off to college. They join a sorority even when they had a few boyfriends. It’s pretty easy for a hot girl to stack a bunch of bodies in a very short period of time, and it happens. It’s kind of like a rite of passage.

For these dunces to think they’re going to marry some virgin or a girl that’s only slept with one or two boyfriends, even back then that was rare. These guys are getting a lot of views these days and they’re getting pushed a lot. It’s a false representation of what’s really out there in the dating marketplace. Character is destiny. A girl that is sleeping around left and right, obviously she’s got some issues. Doesn’t matter if she comes from one of the wealthiest, most powerful families in town.

Chicks are going to be chicks. You got to look at her character. What does she do? Not what she says, not the image she presents to the world and her parents. Look at little Miss Innocent, beautiful little Catholic school girl. Totally innocent, but yet slept with over 50 dudes before she even graduated high school, and this is going back to the 80s. These things were happening then.

Yet on paper, that shouldn’t be happening, but it did. It does. It still does, and it always will. You don’t wife up a girl like that.You don’t wife up a girl that cheats on or is sleeping around or giving one guy the impression that she wants to be his girlfriend, while the weekend before she’s getting reamed out by three different dudes. Anyways, I digress. I hope you all enjoyed the little sidebar there.

…And singers from her club and confirms they are friends. I’m not a fucking idiot to the logistics of male orbiters.

Good job.

She’s also a very sexual person and has openly admitted various sexual partners and how vanilla sex doesn’t cut it anymore.

This is a fuck buddy. This is like the girls from high school. Again, I love the hell out of them, but you don’t wife these girls. If that’s what you’re looking for, to wife them up, have a family. No.

The one I was telling you about that was sucking one guy’s dick while she was taking it doggy style from another friend of mine? She had several kids, actually from her first marriage or her first husband. They’re all grown up now.

We still hang out and we drink when we get together and we have a good time and we reminisce about high school memories. Again, I personally wouldn’t marry her. My buddy, even though he dated her when he found out what she was doing the week before they went out on a date and hooked up, it totally changed his perception.

You learn these things, and he was smart enough and he was enough of a stud to go find somebody else. He didn’t want to be dating a girl that had that kind of a reputation, “But man, it sure was fun to hook up with her.” High five your friends. Tell good stories. Then all 30 something years later, I can share it with you guys.

She has a history of living abroad over summers in Europe, had no father figure in her life, used to live a party lifestyle before having no choice to settle with a child and constantly asks if I’m fucking other people.

Now, why would she constantly ask that? Because that’s what she’s doing. No one will ever do or say anything to you that isn’t a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves in the moment. Often times, these women expect you to be loyal and faithful to them while they’re really not that, but deep down they assume everybody is the same way.

When you see this behavior, you got to be rational, like my buddy was. Even back in high school. We were 17, 18 years old. He understood this crap even though he was participating and banging a bunch of girls and junior sophomore, junior, senior year, even he lost his virginity back in middle school.

He’s been with the same woman for many decades, but he knew back then he didn’t want a girl that was a cum dumpster. He didn’t want a girl that slept with half the class, because you’re going to get ripped about it from your friends. We all would have ripped him about it.

At the end of the day, a young guy like that understood that. Here’s a guy that’s obviously an adult who’s much older than we were back then, and yet the wheels are turning on, “I think I can work with this. I think I can fix this girl.”

When she would disappear after her shifts, I would wrongly implement the no contact rule for a few days and she would kick up a fuss accusing me that I’m fucking other people.

Because she was fucking other people. At the end of the day, if you’re following what the book teaches, you make one date a week. You hang out, you have fun, you hook up. Once she starts reaching out to you, your pursuit is done. You just set dates. If you know she’s a hoe, you wear a raincoat and you have fun with her until you meet somebody you really like. It’s pretty simple. Don’t try to turn a hoe into a housewife.

Me and my friends, we didn’t do those things back then. A lot of guys, especially the dudes in the Red Pill community, that’s a problem they have, and they’re still bitter and pissed off about it. As the late, great Don Shula said, “Strong men blame themselves. Weak men blame others.”

Any guy that’s blaming women or “modern women,” it’s just somebody you don’t want to listen to, because they’re a dunce warrior and they’re an amateur. As simple as that.

She recently asked me if I was seeing other people and were we stood whilst…

This guy must be from the U.K.

…Almost hinting at wanting more, but when but when I asked what she was looking for, it sounded like a situationship. Commitment without the exclusivity (yet).

She wants you to be committed to her while she continues to go fuck the whole football team. Like my one of my female friends from high school. Still love her. She’s awesome, love hanging out with her, but that was a lot of bodies, dude.

Keep in mind, this was just two girls we were talking about. This past week and we were hanging out hoping I’ll get myself into trouble, which I probably will. I’ll hear about it, but that’s OK. I’m used to the slings and arrows.

Due to her job, she also mentioned she was approached by an owner of a restaurant who was drinking in her bar and offered her a job and that she was considering it.

She mentioned they are talking on Facebook Messenger and I personally think this dude is a shark. She mentioned she has agreed to meet him next week to discuss the job further.

I’ll bet. You can already tell. She’s just throwing the leg for whoever. She’s a freak. She says, “I don’t like vanilla sex.” “Ding, ding. Check, please!” Fuck buddy, friends with benefits, sex playmate. That’s it. These are the girls you hook up with. These are not the girls you marry or have a long term relationship with or have kids with. It’s pretty simple.

How do you keep your centre in the early stages of dating and not let the anxiety creep in with the red flags in front of you?

Well, the red flags are telling you something, and you are correct. You have been ignoring them. Again, you’re trying to turn a hoe into a housewife, bro. It’s not going to work. Have fun. Enjoy it while it lasts. Make sure you wear your raincoat.

How do you not allow these other orbiters to not waive you, especially if a dude has more money or resources to throw his weight around?

Easy. Dare her to find somebody. Dare her to run off with one of these guys. Be cool with it. Don’t give a shit. That’ll actually attract her more to you, even if the guy’s got more money and resources.

Deep down, if you know there’s no way in hell you would ever wife her up, you would never get into a relationship with her, you let her know that, “Hey, it’s just casual. I don’t think of you that way,” she’ll try harder to keep you.

Then it gets harder to leave her, but that’s the right approach. That’s the masculine approach. That’s a centered and balanced approach. You’re not going to try to give her the impression that you’re going to want to be in a relationship with her, because then she’ll really treat you like a doormat.

There’s always gonna be a better option but how do you remain the priority option?

I’d appreciate your feedback to keep my sanity.

Regards,

Bob

Easy. Like I said, dare her to find somebody better. “If I don’t take you all the way, then go, but remember, good love is hard to find,” like Tom Petty said.

Third Viewer’s Email:

Hey Coach,

I’ve been reading 3% Man about 3-4 times so far and I’m working on reading it more this summer. 

So, I dated a girl for about over a year and the first year she ended up having a lot of guy “friends…”

Like my girl friend from high school. I didn’t sleep with them. I didn’t partake. They had lots of male friends and they were very friendly with benefits each week. It was a new guy, or two or three different dudes in a weekend. Like, it happens really fast. Girl in high school, it’s pretty easy to graduate with 50 or 100 bodies.

Even in the 80s it was happening. It’s not “modern women.” Women have always been this way. Character is destiny, but you got the Red Pill autistic morons out there brainwashing the incels and the sheep. The guys don’t know any better, because Jerry Springer type content really gets a lot of views. That’s why the stuff always did well. I think the first one was Morton Downey Jr. back in the 1980s. Rest in peace. He was a hilarious character as well.

…Who ended up not really being guy friends. I found out because she showed up to a date once with hickeys and gaslit me to think they weren’t.

Oh, yes. This is why it’s important to have friends. My buddy were talking about, he and other friends are like, “Dude, she was just getting reamed out by so and so and his friend all at the same time.” He heard that and he was like, “What?”

Then he went to these guys, because these guys were good friends of ours. I love these dudes to death. They’re great guys. I take a fucking bullet for any of them. They’re like, “Yeah, it was fun. We were all drinking, but nobody wifed her up.” Well, somebody did. A couple guys did.

During this time we were “exclusive.” Obviously, I knew this was a lie. During this time, I didn’t read any of your work and I took these signs very loosely and gave her faith, which obviously was a mistake. 

In the relationship, she had many guy friends who I knew were previous guys she slept with. I asked her to tell me the truth and she denied it for a while. Obviously, she was a liar…

Yeah.

…And wanted her cake and eat it too. I knew all the truth because I looked through her phone. I even caught her on Tinder and her excuse was, “Oh, I thought we weren’t dating and broken up at the time…”

Oh, man. Is this the thing? Guys that don’t know any better, they get themselves in a situation like this. I can understand why they turn out and they’re bitter and they become Red Pill gurus, and all they do is crank out the same kind of content that everyone else is cranking out.

…Which was obviously not true since she was inviting me over telling me she loved me.

She had also been verbally, and physically abusive in the relationship. 

Sounds like fun. She’s a real peach to date.

Now eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore and I finally got pushed enough to break things off.

Well, good for you. You finally took your balls and your power back.

Later on, about two months later, she came crying back and said she was “sorry” and she’s “different now.”

No, she’s not.

She said that she had bad demons and that her past is not who she wanted to be or wants to be. 

Yeah, but if we bottom line her actions, that’s who she is. Character is destiny. You are what you do, not what you say.

What really kept me with this girl is our personalities really meshed and I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn’t shady.

She’s shady, bro.

But obviously, my trust is gone. 

Yeah, and so here’s the Whopper.

Do you think people change? Can they?

Yeah. They may become a better version of who they are. In other words, they maybe cheat less or they’re better at hiding it, but still, this girl ain’t going to change.

This one girl in particular, the one who’s very obese and slept around a lot in high school? As far as I know, she’s been loyal and faithful to her husband, but she’s obese and so is she. It’s not like dudes are lining up to hook up with her like they were in high school when she was fit and hot and was a hot cheerleader, but I digress.

If she was fit and in shape and she had lots of options, would she partake? Probably, but she’s let herself go, because deep down our bodies are a physical reflection of how we feel about ourselves.

If somebody was sleeping around a lot back then and they completely let themselves go, now their outer world matches their inner world. Whereas when they’re young and beautiful, everybody looks at the outer perception, their outer body, and they go, “Wow.” What’s going on in the inside is the lights are on, but nobody’s home. She belongs to the streets.

I know that these women I shouldn’t take seriously because humans are creatures of habit and it seems from things I saw, that she has this habit of lying, deleting messages and other things on her phone.

Well, I see it over and over. I’ve had a couple people that worked for me in the past year, you catch them in lies and then you catch them in more lies. They don’t stop. People don’t change who they are. They may become a better version, but it is what it is.

Even at 53, I still see it. Young and old. Doesn’t matter. If they’re a ratchet when they’re young, they’re going to be a ratchet when they get older typically. Doesn’t mean you can’t love them and appreciate them if you happen to know them. You just don’t get involved romantically, because they’re a drifter.

Obviously, I can’t take her seriously, and I know if I jump in caring again, she’s most likely going to cheat and be shady, even though she says she’s not.

Of course she will cheat. That’s what she does. It’s the scorpion and the frog. It’s her nature.

I guess her words are more like a “fart in the wind.”

Thanks Coach,

Bob

Perfect. You got it!

Well, I hope you enjoyed those three long emails in my little diatribe about some high school memories that I visited with a dear friend this past week.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.