The importance of understanding who and what you’re really seeking and focusing on to ensure you attract the right person for you.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a guy who started following and applying my work two years ago after a friend recommended that he check it out. He discusses the process he went through and some of his dating experiences as he worked on applying what I teach and learning to focus on finding the right type of person for him. He shares how doing the love letter exercise taught in my book caused him to change his focus and zero in on a woman who was already in his life. They’ve been together for a year now, and it is the best relationship he has ever had. Their values, passions and interests are totally aligned. He says it’s effortless and that they are an amazing team. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I wanted to share how finding your work has impacted my life. I came across your website a couple of years ago from a friend that recommended I check it out. This was after I got dumped by this girl I was seeing. While I was reading the e-book, I immediately realized all the ways I had messed up with her and other girls in the past. I had been too needy, asked where things were going, overall talked way too much on the phone and did not create attraction. (In other words, you talked her out of liking you.)
After reading your book the first time, I put it to use with the next girl I met, and it worked like magic! We met at a concert and I went straight for the number. I went for the kiss on our first date and had sex on the second. (The average woman will sleep with a guy by the second or third date, especially if you’re following the seduction progression that I talk about in my book.)
It only took a couple of weeks after that for her to be really into me, and I felt like I didn’t put in much effort at all. (That’s the beauty of this stuff. When you act like a man is supposed to naturally act, nature just takes its course, because after all, attraction is not a choice. Either they like you, or they don’t.)
Once that ended, I decided to go after girls that I wouldn’t have tried to before. I ended up getting rejected more, so I kept re-reading your book, which I’ve read up to 4 times right now. It took a while for me to realize that I was going after girls that I was into, but that were not totally into me. (That’s a pattern I saw early on. It wasn’t until I got older, into my late twenties and early thirties, that I realized I had been doing that. I would get hung up on women that had no interest in me, and I just would waste my life waiting for things to turn around or to change.)
It was at that point that I decided to write out all the qualities I thought I wanted in a girl, and sure enough, I ended up hooking up with this really hot girl that was lots of fun. Even after that, she ended up playing games, so I went back to my list and reorganized what was really important to me. I even wrote that person a love letter, being grateful for having them in my life.
Before I knew it, I started to realize that one of my close friends from my salsa performance team showed all the signs of being totally into me. At first, I only saw her as a friend, but as I kept reading my ideal list every day, I saw that she met most of those qualities. We decided to give dating a try last year, and I can say that so far, it’s been the best relationship I have ever had. We truly match each other in terms of our values, interests, and our passion for life. It really is so effortless, and we really are an amazing team.
(People that like the same things tend to like each other. When you share the same goals and the same values, you’re going to have a lot in common. That’s why I place a big emphasis on doing the kinds of things that you love. When you have a great life, and you’re loving what you’re doing and you’re loving where you live and the kind of activities, hobbies and interests that you’re into, like if you’re a gym rat, there’s a good chance you’ll meet somebody else in the gym who’s also a gym rat, instead of meeting somebody randomly on the street, who might be really attractive, but they have never seen the inside of a gym in their life. No matter how pretty they are, eventually at some point, that’s going to irritate the hell out of you.)
On top of that, being able to have such and amazing relationship has allowed me to take on even bigger challenges. I’m now working with my brother to get into real estate investing and achieve financial freedom. (Well, hopefully you’re doing it, not to earn money, but doing it because you love real estate investing. Having bought and sold and been involved in thousands of real estate mortgage transactions in my life, every time I saw somebody that was chasing after money, instead of doing it because they really had a passion for it, they typically lost their fucking ass. You’ve got to know, why are you there? Why are you investing in real estate in the first place?)
With that said, I truly thank you for showing me the way and encouraging me to attract what I really want into my life. I tell everyone I know about your work and encourage everyone to go after what they want in life.
(It’s a great success story. You focused on your goals and values, you got clear about what you wanted in an ideal person, and there was somebody in your life that you never even considered. But once you got focused on what qualities were most important, you realized you had this girl in your life, you connected, you started dating, and it’s been easy and effortless. You want to be spending your time with people who are easy to get along with, people that share the same goals and values, because it makes life a lot easier and a lot more fulfilling.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“You get what you focus on in life. What you focus on will expand. When you focus on your outcomes, interests and values that are important to you, the universe will organize and align your world with people and circumstances that are in harmony with your focus and actions. Most people tend to just take whatever shows up and then try to hold onto that at all costs while ignoring the reality that it does not serve them. Successful people focus on their outcomes and do not get distracted and settle for less than they truly want while they work to become what they want. Eventually, they attract exactly what they have become.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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