Why A Woman’s Feelings & Desires Changes Like The Weather

Why a woman’s feelings & desires are valid for 24 hours & change like the weather.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who got dumped by his girlfriend of 3 years. She moved away because he refused to let her move in when her parents moved to another state. They didn’t know about him. She said in her culture they only tell parents when they are certain of marriage. His parents knew about her however. He can’t understand why she dumped him despite her previously saying she wanted to get married and have his kids and couldn’t imagine dating anyone other than him. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Why A Woman’s Feelings & Desires Changes Like The Weather.”

So this particular email is from a viewer who got dumped by his girlfriend of three years. So she actually moved away because he refused to let her move in when her parents decided to move to another state. And the reason why, you know, she wanted to move in with him, but he says, no way, because after three years her parents didn’t even know that he existed. Whereas his parents definitely know he’s been dating her. So she claimed that in her culture, they only tell their parents when they’re certain to marriage. I think, you know, they’re both Asian, as a matter of fact.

But he was like, hey, I mean, at the end of the day, my parents know that I’m dating you. It’s like, but your parents have no idea that I exist after three years together? That’s like, and you want to move in with me? He’s like, I don’t think so. And so she decided, I guess she dropped out of school and then moved to go be with her parents. And so he was thinking, okay, well, we’ll do long distance. But after, he got there, she dumped him, and he’s like, I don’t understand. She was telling me, I want to have your kids. I want to get married to you.

I’ll never be able to date anyone else after you. I’m completely yours. And he’s like, how can she change so quickly? So what you have to understand, and I wrote about this in 3% Man. And if you’re new here and you haven’t read it, 3% Man is free to read at UnderstandingRelationships.com. Subscribe to the email newsletter when you get there. And you can also read Mastering Yourself, my second book that’s in the Members Area as well for free. All free members can read it. So go to UnderstandingRelationships.com.

Click on the “free e-Book” tab at the top of your screen, and then sign up and you can start reading it. So again, he’s perplexed. He’s like, I don’t understand. So you gotta understand that when a woman says, I love you, that lasts for, it’s good for 24 hours, then poof, it’s kind of like a WhatsApp (Corey means Snapchat Story) message, you know? Or it disappears after a while or a, you know, a Snapchat (Story) that disappears after a while. So how a woman feels about you, all the plans about the future, this and that. It only matters in that moment.

It’s good for about 24 hours and a lot of guys make the mistake of, well, she said all these things, but that was a while ago. That was months ago. And she’s not seeing him now. And so that’s why you got to live in the present moment with women. You gotta respond to how they’re showing up today, not how they told you they wanted to marry you and have your children six months ago. But the last few months, all she says is she hates your guts and can’t stand you.

Well, whatever she’s telling you now is how she feels about you now. And that’s what really matters. You don’t get any credit for what you did in the past. So understanding that can help understand why women are the way they are. Whatever you’re doing, however you’re showing up and however you’re making them feel is what they’re going to say. But again, it only applies in the present moment.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

I’m 27, have a Master’s in Data Analytics, work in Aerospace/Defense, earn six figures, and am an avid kickboxer. I’ve read your book close to 30 times.

So a serious student.

I’m going through the toughest breakup I’ve ever had, and I need your perspective because I feel too close to it. After college, I moved to Colorado and met a 20-year-old woman on Tinder I’d been talking to for a couple of weeks. She was 4’11, a bit overweight, and at first I wasn’t sure I was physically attracted. Over time, she became someone I could rely on. She was genuine, kind-hearted, and hardworking. She told me things no woman had ever said to me before. “I want to have your kids.”

Well, when she said that, she felt it, she meant it. But that was then. This is now.

“I want to get married to you.”

That was then. This is now.

“I’ll never be able to date anyone else after you. I am completely yours.”

Well, again, that’s how she felt then. But now she clearly feels differently. Women vote with their feet. If they’re with you, they voted for you. But if they dumped you were, then clearly they didn’t want to be with you anymore because they weren’t feeling it.

We were together for three years. I never met her parents. In her Asian culture, meeting parents often means marriage, and she wanted a firm marriage commitment before introducing me. I told my family about her; she kept me a secret from hers. When her family decided to move to Wisconsin, she wanted to stay and move in with me due to the high cost in Colorado.

So you can imagine that the parents lived in Colorado, their daughters in a relationship, has a boyfriend for three years, and they have no idea that he exists. That’s just not normal. At the end of the day, if a girl is in love with you, she’s going to be gushing about you because her parents are going to be like, hey, are you dating anybody? What’s going on in your personal life? But like, no mention of this guy? That would tell me that a woman that does that knows the deep down she’s not really sure of this dude. Because again, women vote with their feet if they’re with you, they voted for you.

I said no not because I didn’t care, but because her parents didn’t know I existed. She saw this as rejection and moved into her own place in Wisconsin, quitting college in the process.

So she moved to be wherever her parents were. That’s who she felt closest to. Not him, her boyfriend, but her parents. So she was willing to move long distance away to be further away from the man she supposedly wanted to have his children. Well. I mean, at the end of the day, if you’ve been together three years and you’re not excited about living with her and I, I understand that, you know, you’re like three, that’s just not normal. That’s fucking weird. How can a woman who is in her 20s be in a relationship for three years and never, ever mention that guy to her parents, ever?

If that’s the case, then she doesn’t really care that much about him. That’s just the bottom line. Because if she’s happy and crazy in love, she’s going to want to tell people and she’s going to tell people the closest to her, meaning her parents. I mean, she moved to be with them. She even got her own place because the cost of living was cheaper there. But the boyfriend of three years, the guy, she wanted to have his kids, and be married to, couldn’t imagine herself dating anybody else. And yet they didn’t know he existed.

We tried long-distance. I flew her to meet my family at Christmas.

Again, her family doesn’t know you exist. So this tells me at this point, you’re way more into her than she is into you, because you’re introducing her to your family, and her family doesn’t even know you exist. Women like you a lot more if they think that they’re more into you than you are into them. So it may be when she moved away, he got a little serious, started to over pursue, and her interest started to drop. He’s bringing her around to meet family and again, she’s in another state now.

I flew her to meet my family at Christmas, visited her in February, and sent flowers for our anniversary.

Well, again, if you’re long distance, once a month you go see her, the next month she comes to see you. That’s what should be happening. So that way at least once a month you guys are getting together.

Soon after, she texted that we needed to talk and called to break up. She said she’d been thinking about it since the move, nine months earlier.

So she was away for nine months. So that’s a long time to be apart and yet you saw her a Christmas time and in February. And then there was a long time with not seeing each other. So the fact that nine months and you saw each other twice, and it sounds like just in the beginning her interest was dropping and declining and he didn’t realize it.

It was sudden and shocking.

Well, again, you hadn’t seen her. I mean, it sounds like you hadn’t seen her for half a year at that point. So whatever she felt before she felt then. And so instead of getting closer, you guys continued to move further apart. You continued to act less invested in the relationship. Women want to be in a love story, and it’s basically the love stories seem to stop after about three months of her being in Wisconsin, that’s what it looks like based on the timelines that he drops in here.

Again, she was nine months after she moved away, and it looks like they went six months without seeing each other. Why wouldn’t she come to see you? And why wouldn’t you go to see her? You either didn’t care that much or maybe it was a money issue. But again, I mean, how much is a plane ticket? A couple hundred bucks. It’s like, come on. So clearly it wasn’t important for one or both of them to see each other. It’s like they saw each other initially, but after that, they stopped seeing each other.

It was sudden and shocking. She had been loving, feminine, and consistent for years, and then it was gone overnight.

Well, it wasn’t overnight. It was over nine months.

I suspected marriage pressure was part of it, but I hesitated because it felt like she was trying to force me. Immediately I flew out to see her, $1,200 ticket.

Yeah. You’re booking at the last minute. It’s very expensive. But if you’re, you know, booking it weeks or months in advance, it’s a lot cheaper. I’ve been filming a lot of videos and my voice is starting to crackle.

She was dolled up. We laughed, talked about the future, and I told her I was ready to meet her parents. She made out with me but still said, “I just don’t think I can make it work.”

So the reality is her interest was low at this point, but he’s looking at the fact, oh, she wanted to have my kids. But yeah, that was like 9 or 10 months a year ago. Maybe it was two years ago. Whenever the last time was she said it, that’s when she was last feeling it. She clearly ain’t feeling it now.

It’s been a month of No Contact. I don’t think she’s coming back.

Yeah, I would say she broke up with you when she was no longer feeling it. So again, you can’t go a long distance with somebody and then not visit each other for six months. But as soon as she breaks up with you, you drop $1,200 to go see her. So neither one of you guys were making the effort or willing to spend the money because quite frankly, it wasn’t that important to you. And so remember, rejection breeds obsession. I would say more than likely he didn’t care until she rejected him. Then he’s like, I gotta fly out there to see her. Well, why didn’t you fly to see her every other month? And why didn’t she fly to see you every other month?

I keep telling myself, if she wanted you, she would be with you.

This is correct. But you know that nine months apart, she fell out of love with you. And she no longer felt the same. Because again, The Courtship Never Ends” that’s part of the book. There’s a chapter. And you ended the courtship. You know, like I said, based on your dates that you put in your email, you didn’t see her for six months. So you know a woman looks at that and just goes, if you really cared, you’d be wanting to see her more. You only cared once she dumped you.

If she’s been with another man, it’s ruined for me forever.

Relax, dude.

We had so many beautiful memories and what I thought was a strong, deep connection. The best relationship I’ve had. 

Well, again. You didn’t see it for six months, bro. I just look at your actions, you clearly didn’t care about her. Again this is what happens. Rejection breeds obsession. And so now you’re acting obsessed because you got dumped, whereas before you got dumped, you’re okay with not seeing your supposed girlfriend and love of your life for six months. That just tells me you weren’t that into it. And obviously she wasn’t either. She wasn’t willing to come visit you. It’s like you both were, after three years, or it just seemed like you were kind of going along with it.

My frustration now is: how do you trust a woman who tells you those kinds of things, swears lifelong commitment, and then walks away?

Again, it only when she told you that it was valid for 24 hours, and then after that it didn’t apply anymore. So when she stopped saying that is when she stopped feeling it and you didn’t notice because you didn’t notice, you didn’t understand this stuff. Maybe you haven’t read the book yet. That’s why you need to learn what’s in here. Then it wouldn’t be so confusing.

How do I believe anyone after this?

Well, you gotta live in the present moment. And you were living in the past. Your relationship had changed. You weren’t into her. She wasn’t into you. But as soon as she got dumped, it wasn’t of your choosing. Rejection breeds obsession. Now you’re like, oh, this is my life. Obviously not really. You were okay with her moving away?

I feel like next time I find someone, my whole “kingdom” will already be built, and I’ll have to question why they’re really with me.

Well, you got to read the book, dude. You got to fill in your knowledge gap. Because your girl fell out of love with you. And not only did you not realize it, you still don’t realize it.

Corey, what do you make of this what happened? How do I move forward without becoming permanently guarded?

Bob

Read the book. Fill in your knowledge gap. Because you’re basically throwing darts in a blizzard, and you’re frustrated and you’re angry that when she told you something, it wasn’t valid for a lifetime. It’s valid for 24 hours. That’s how women are. However, a woman feels about you is about as valid for as long as the weather report is valid. Once the day has passed, it’s just like a concert ticket. You missed the concert. Well, you can’t get your money back and the ticket is now worthless because the event has come and gone, just like your ex-girlfriend has left the building. And more than likely because you went six months without seeing her, she moved on. She lost interest.

You didn’t continue to date and court her properly. “The Courtship Never Ends”, it’s a chapter in my book. And you ended the courtship. So when you ended the courtship and you told her you were okay with her moving away, all she had to do is look at your actions. And you were no longer that serious about the relationship. It’s like you only became butthurt and cared once she dumped you. And the reality is you just didn’t care anymore. We just, all we have to do is look at your actions. That’s what matters.

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