What you should do differently if women you’re dating, or trying to date, are continually ghosting you.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who is obviously very frustrated in his dating life. He says he is continually getting ghosted, even after dates he thought went very well. He also says he often calls women after he gets their phone number, and they never pick up the phone. It’s obvious after reading his email that he doesn’t know the book and is not following what I teach. He’s acting needy, neurotic and making stupid mistakes, because he doesn’t know the book.
Then he tries to tell me what I teach doesn’t work and I should change it; despite the fact he obviously doesn’t know what I teach and is doing and saying things to women to totally turn them off. It’s a great email that perfectly illustrates why most people are their own worst enemy when it comes to achieving their grandest goals and dreams, because they continually sabotage their own success. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I’ve read your book a few times, and have also listened to the audio one as well and your YouTube videos.
(All the best success stories are people who have read my book, How To Be A 3% Man, 10, 15, 20 times. When somebody tells me they’ve read it a few times, that means they probably barely, half-ass read it one time. That tells me this guy is lazy, he’s not really serious about his success, and he’s been trying to cherry-pick some information in videos. The idea behind these videos and the podcast version is that you’ve learned the fundamentals in the book, and these specific situations are here to help you fine tune and apply the fundamentals that are taught in the book. But if you’ve just “read it a few times,” you’re not going to really know much about what’s in the book. You’re going to be more confused than anything.
When you’re trying to overcome a lot of bad behavior, you have to understand which behavior makes you look strong, confident and masculine, and which behavior makes you look weak. If you just read the book like you would read a normal book, one time, you’re not going to understand the philosophy. You’re not going to understand the fundamentals. You’re going to be acting like a robot, trying to use techniques. Any time a woman says something to you, you’re going to be thinking, “What’s the perfect line to throw back at her?” instead of understanding where the hell she’s coming from and what she’s really saying to you.)
I keep coming into a particular obstacle over and over again. Here’s the latest that just happened to me on Friday.
(You can see there’s a little bit of a theme. “Oh Corey, you’re not going to believe what fucking happened to me again.”)
I’m at a bar and just playing pool, not really looking for any girls. I end up outside smoking and chatting with a girl and her guy friend. We connected, and she invited me back to her place with her friend.
(So far, so good. Sounds like you paid attention to some of the pickup, dating and seduction skills. Then you picked up a girl and went home with her the first night. This is the kind of thing that makes a a guy think, “I don’t need to read that fucking book 10-15 times. I don’t have time for that. I’m busy.”)
She was all over me when her friend was around, and he got the hint and left. We made out and stayed up all night chatting, and she started asking me personal stuff like my birthday and my last name, etc. We go to bed and we had some oral sex, but not all the way, because she said doesn’t do that with guys she just met, so I said fine.
(That tells me you didn’t learn “two steps forward, one step back,” which is also in the first book, How To Be A 3% Man. This is where learning the fundamentals comes in. You didn’t learn the fundamentals. When a girl invites you back, and you’re fooling around having oral sex with each other, you could have gone all the way if you had known what you were doing, but you didn’t prepare ahead of time. Confucius said, “Success depends on previous preparation, and without such preparation, there is sure to be failure.”)
The next morning, we go and get breakfast and continue chatting and having a great time. We say goodbye, and she says that she’ll text me on Sunday, (the next day), so we can hang out.
(A confident guy who’s used to this kind of thing happening, and it’s not a big deal, he’s going to go, “Oh cool. Give me a call babe. I look forward to it.” Then he’ll kiss her goodbye and say, “See you later.”)
She also said that she likes phone calls.
(In other words, I prefer a man who picks up the phone and fucking calls me, instead of texting me.)
I wait until Sunday, and I call her at 11:30 am, but she doesn’t pick it up, so I sent her a message telling her to call me back.
(She said she was going to call you dude. Obviously, if most girls don’t call you back and you’re used to being ghosted all the time, you’re too afraid to let women get back to you. There’s also a good chance that when you were hanging out together, because you didn’t learn the fundamentals, you probably said some things that made you look weak and weren’t appropriate.
A guy who has a healthy self-esteem and is comfortable and used to having women call and text him randomly, when a woman says I’ll call you later, there’s a 50/50 chance she’ll do it. Sometimes something comes up and they don’t, and you don’t hear from them until Monday or Tuesday. But if you’re insecure, and no woman ever calls you back, you’re not going to wait. You’re going to blow up their phone. And that’s basically what we’re starting to see.)
I didn’t hear from her all day and tried to call again at 4 pm and same result.
(She was probably a little iffy about you, and if you hadn’t called her, you would have heard from her within the week, but you don’t know because you couldn’t take it. You’ve contacted her three times already on Sunday, even though she said she was going to get in touch with you. You never gave her the opportunity to let her do what she said she was going to do.
At the end of the day, you want a woman who says what she means and means what she says. Women that are really great catches, when they tell you they’ll call you, they’ll do it. And if for some reason they don’t, they get in touch a day or two later, the first thing they’re going to say is “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t get in touch with you Sunday.” Sometimes women will tell you they’re going to call you, and then not call you on purpose to see how you handle it. And you just communicated by contacting her three times that you’re an insecure and needy little bitch. Sorry, but that’s the brutal, honest truth.)
I decided to wait and text her in the evening at 8 pm just to see how she was.
(Now, that’s the fourth time you’ve contacted her. Women have encountered enough guys like you to know you’re a needy and insecure jackass. You’re going to constantly blow her phone up, be very insecure, and you’re going to get angry when she doesn’t do the things that you’re expecting her to do, so it’s just better to ghost you, and hopefully you’ll get the hint. You’re getting ghosted, because you talked this girl out of liking you. You’re acting like a fucking beta male.)
Then she replied that she had fun but wasn’t interested in dating and just wanted to be friends. WTF???
(So now she has decided that you aren’t getting anywhere near her box again. Maybe you could just be her friend. You could be her gay male girlfriend. You can come over and fix her toilet or change the battery in her car or fix her flat tire, and more than likely, because you’re a beta male, you’ll probably go along with that.
For the average girl, it’s always nice to have two or three beta males around, because you never know when you’re going to have a project that needs to be done at home with a guy who is expecting nothing. A guy who’s coming over, doing things, buying things, solving her problems, being her therapist and her emotional tampon. And she’s not ever going to have to worry about anything sexual with them.)
How was she so into me the day before, and as soon as I try to contact her, (which she told me to do),
(No, she said she was going to contact you. She said she likes phone calls. She didn’t tell you to call her),
then she just changed her mind?
(Well, you acted like a little bitch. You changed her mind for her. You talked her out of liking you. You blew it dude, because you were too fucking lazy to read the book 10-15-20 times like I say. )
Even if a girl tells you to call her the next day, do you still obey the 3-day rule you prescribe?
(It’s not a rule. It’s a guideline. Obviously, you’re thinking like a fucking robot. The woman told you she was going to call you.)
P.S. I’ve tried phone calls after getting a girl’s number many times and girls never pick up the phone. They all prefer texting. I think you should address that or change the advice.
(Well, you don’t even know the advice, because you didn’t read the book 10-15 times. You’re trying to say there’s something wrong with what I teach, even though you’re not following what I teach. I’ve dated plenty of women that are your age that love it when I call them, because they want to hear my voice. Because most of the guys their age only text.
It’s more masculine to call. It has nothing to do with the fact you called versus texted. What happened was, you blew her up four times in one day when she told you she was going to call you.)
I think it’s probably a generational thing.
(Yeah, I’ve heard that too from other millenials like yourself who didn’t follow instructions.)
Girls aren’t into phone calls anymore.
(Okay, well that’s why I date women in their 20’s and they love it when I call them.)
Should I try again in a few days to see if she’s open for lunch, or should I just give up?
(I wouldn’t call her at all dude. As soon as she says I’m only interested in being friends, just say, “Yeah, I’m not looking for a friend. If you change your mind, get in touch.” At this point, you’ve already formed an impression in her mind, and she’s probably just hoping that you’ll go away. I wouldn’t do anything at this point. What you should be doing is reading How To Be A 3% Man 10-15 times. Learn the fundamentals.)
It’s really frustrating for me because I feel like in order to be successful with women, I have to kill my emotions and not get my hopes up. Anytime I start opening up, it just feels like I’ll get rejected again.
(You’re talking women out of liking and dating you dude. You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. Even if you actually read my book one time, you’re basically doing the opposite of what it teaches. Therefore, you really didn’t change your behavior from the time you came across my work until now. You’re still doing the same things. Maybe you’re doing a few more right because you cherry-picked a few tips here and there, but you didn’t understand the fundamentals, the philosophy and the mindset. That is why you failed. You failed to prepare, because you were fucking lazy.)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Unsuccessful people tend to be their own worst enemy. They know what they want, but subconsciously sabotage their chances for success with half-ass effort, laziness and lack of attention to detail. Then they blame others for their lack of success, in order to absolve themselves from any personal responsibility for their failures. Successful people take extreme ownership for everything in their lives. They know that failure is the result of flawed thinking, knowledge gaps and imperfect action they need to change or improve. They know success is the result of their thoughts, words, deeds, continual improvement and learning from mistakes.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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