Why Does She Bring Friends On Our Dates?

What you should do if a woman is bringing friends with her on your dates and what it really means.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who is obviously new to my work. He met a girl on Tinder and hung out, had a good time, but didn’t try to kiss her. For their second date he made a date for the movies, but she brought a friend with her. He later vomited his feelings to her, and she told him she wasn’t ready for a relationship. The last time he saw her, she had a friend with her once again.

She is distant and they now haven’t spoken in over a week. He asks what he should do now. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This is obviously from a guy who’s new to my work and I don’t even think he’s read my first book, How To Be A 3% Man, once yet. But reading an email like this. It just takes me on a stroll down memory lane. It reminds me of back when I was young and dumb and didn’t know any better. And you can see that guys who grow up in the society of the West, they’re just nice, they’re too accommodating and they don’t really understand what’s going on. They come across women who either are taking advantage of them or who are jerking them around, because they’re just weak and don’t know any better. So, obviously, we can laugh at this guy’s expense because, quite frankly, pretty much every guy that’s watching this, when he was younger and didn’t know any better, probably did similar things.

Obviously, anybody that’s read 3% Man knows that if you’re trying to get to know somebody, you don’t take them to a movie, because you can’t get to know somebody if you’re both sitting there watching a movie in a quiet movie theater. So, he did that and she brings one of her girlfriends with her. And then, he starts getting nervous, she’s not replying as fast, then he pukes his feelings up. I mean, predictable things that, like I said, when I read through it, it’s like, man, I did all that stupid shit when I was young and I didn’t know any better. And so, here’s a guy that’s in that place. So, hopefully we want to steer him in the right direction, so he can have some good experiences and get what he wants, instead of basically being this woman’s manservant, or her butler or entertainment director.

Viewer’s Email:

Corey,

So, I met this girl on Tinder, we spoke and got along. We moved our texting to Snapchat and continued our conversation.

Well, we all know the phone is for setting dates. And instead of moving it to Snapchat, you should have moved it to a phone call to see what the interaction will be like. Do you like talking to her? Is she interesting to listen to? Is this somebody that you can see yourself sitting across from, having a drink or dinner with and really enjoying being there with them? Because if you don’t enjoy the phone conversation or she doesn’t seem to enjoy it, there’s no reason to meet, or spend a dime on her, or waste any of your time driving somewhere to go meet her.

A Few days later she was eager to meet up with me, as we go to the same university. I said sure, and so we met up. I took her out to dinner and played mini golf while getting drinks afterwards. We had a few moments where the touch barrier was broken, we held each other’s hands from a high five and we hugged before we left.

So, if you high five her and she grabs your hand, then you pull her in and kiss her. You just go for it, because you can tell, if she’s touching you like that and holding on a little too long, she likes it.

She reached out later that night and asked if I got home alright, then we started talking again. I initiated a second date which was the cinema.

And survey says, wrong. You don’t go to a movie for your second date. And, case in point, you’re going to see exactly why. This is exactly why. I learned the hard way why you don’t do this. I did a lot of stupid movie dates when I was younger, and most of them never went anywhere.

Now, if you have a girlfriend and you’ve been seeing each other for awhile, and you’ve been hooking up for a few months, sure, go to a movie. But for your second date, it gets in the way. Because the whole purpose of a date for a man is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. It’s hard to do that in a theater when it’s totally quiet. There’s nothing going on except both you staring at a movie screen and listening to the munching and crunching of popcorn.

She said yeah but brought her friend with her to hang out before me and her went alone to see it.

The friend was the blocker. That already tells me that she wants to have a friend there, because she could tell you like her. She’s also recognizing that you don’t really have any game, and she’s been out with enough guys your age that don’t have game to know that guys tend to get frustrated and upset when they get friend zoned, because they’re thinking, “Hey, I’m taking this girl out, I’m spending money, I’m going on dates with her, and now she’s bringing her friends along and I’m paying for a friends too.”

And then, they want to progress things, they vomit their feelings. She says, “Well, I’m not ready for a relationship. I just think of you as a friend.” And then the guy gets upset and frustrated. And so, she’s probably had a number of those experiences, which is the reason why she wants to bring the friend. Men who have game and value themselves are just going to be like, “No, let’s just you and I go out,” and he’s going to politely decline that, because he knows better. But, obviously, this guy does not.

She had to go home after the film. I didn’t get a great chance to talk to her alone that day.

That’s exactly why you don’t go to a movie. She brings her friend, you can’t really talk to her because the friend is there, and then after the movie, she’s like, “Well, thanks for the free movie.  See you later.” You should have at least had plans to go for drinks or something afterwards. But logistics is the man’s job. It’s your job to create an opportunity for sex to happen – to hang out, to have fun, to hook up.

Say you were playing miniature golf and you high-fived her, and she grabbed your hand. Then you pull her in, you kiss her and start making out. When you finish the game, you continue. As she bumps into you, you make out again. Then you let her go, you play some more golf, she bumps into you, you make out a little bit more.

Then after you’re done with golf, say, “Hey, why don’t we get a get out here and go back to my place and open a bottle of wine?” There’s a good chance she’ll say yes. Or she may say, “No, let’s play another round” or “Let’s go to this jazz place and have a drink there.” It’s the trial close. And again, I discuss all of this in “3% Man.” Because it’s a process. It’s a process of her feeling safe and comfortable with you to open up and eventually let you have your way with her.

A few days later the response times were becoming longer…

You can see what’s coming, right?

…so I confessed my feelings to her.

He’s vomiting his feelings, thinking, “Oh, that’ll solve it.” Because if you ask a woman, what’s she going to tell you to do? “Oh, just tell her how you feel. Tell her how you like her.” Women don’t know. Don’t ask them for advice.

She told me in a long paragraph that she realizes that she isn’t ready for a relationship and that a lot is going on, which has been proven to be true, and that she still wants to hang out with me. I accepted what she said and carried on talking to her.

“I’ve got a lot going on. I don’t have time for a relationship.” So, he’s giving her relationship vibes. He’s wanting to lock her down already after he had a first date. I don’t think he has even kissed her yet. And he’s already talking about a relationship, putting the cart way before the horse.

Again, if you see a lot of movies, that’s what happens. The man is supposed to confess his feelings and then the woman goes, “Oh, okay. I guess I’m in love too. It’s great. Let’s live happily ever after.” That’s what happens when you have geeks writing movie scripts that have no experience with women.

Then the movies gets made, and you have other guys that either grow up in a family that’s messed up or they don’t have a healthy example at home, and they see the same theme over and over and over and over again, without realizing you’re getting brainwashed and propagandized to basically think and be the way the geek was, that got no ass in high school, and who sat in the back of the class all the time and just daydreamed of the way he wished the world was. And so, it just it screws people up.

I asked her if she wanted to get some food, she said sure and asked if it was fine to bring her friend.

“My friend would like a free meal to.” She didn’t say that, but it’s kind of implied. She’s bringing the blocker. But she likes the free stuff. Everybody love socialism because it’s free shit, right? As long as somebody else pays for it.

Before the day we met up, she was blowing up my phone and started sending kisses which had me wondering if I’m in the friend zone or not from what she said before.

She’s probably telling her girlfriend, “Yeah, he’s going to take us out. He’s going to buy us stuff. He’s going to buy us drinks, he’s going to buy us food, it’s going to be great. He’s a great friend.”

The day came, and it went great, but I couldn’t do anything, as her friend was there most of it.

Exactly. That’s the whole point. You showed her and her friend a good time, and what a great friend you are. Men who have game, men who are direct and decisive and get to the point are going to be like, “No, thanks.”

Before I left her, she said, “I’ll see you sometime,” and hugged me. I reached back out after leaving it a day, and her replies grew longer until it became a text a day.

So, you can tell he’s texting and trying to get her attention, and she’s just kind of blowing him off like one of her fans. He’s treating her like a celebrity, and she’s just walking all over him, bringing her friends along. The friends are getting free food and drinks, and it’s great. She doesn’t feel guilty. Hey, she’s saving her cash. She ain’t spending any on him.

We were supposed to meet the week after. She kept saying she was really busy to make up for the long replies.

He was like, “Why are you taking so long to reply to me?” You could tell. He obviously brought it up because she’s saying that, “Oh, I was real busy. That’s why I was taking a long time to reply.” No, it just means that she already decided that you were potentially an emotional tampon and a guy who she could get plenty of free shit from for her and her friends. So, you’re Mr. Nice Guy, because you’ll just wait around and you’ll be at her beck and call. And that makes her pussy dryer than a bucket of sand. It’s not what she wants.

And as it grew closer to the day we meet up, she said she had an assignment to do then and can’t come.

Aw shucks, an assignment, darn it. “Gosh darn it. If it wasn’t for that assignment, I could have had a date with her.” Yeah, sure.

I ended up seeing her on that day anyway…

You probably begged to see her.

…and we spoke for 5 minutes before her friend had to leave, and as they were leaving she turned back and said, “I’ll see you sometime.” I replied back saying tell me when you wanna do something. We haven’t spoke or texted in over a week and I’m not sure what to do, if I should reach out or not.

No, no. Never reach out to her again for any reason.

I would appreciate it if you are able at any point to answer my question in a future video. Love the content.

Many thanks, 

Bob

So, you stuck yourself in friend zone and you’re the guy who’s the socialist king. When she wants free shit and free entertainment, she’ll bring her and her girlfriends along and you’ll pay for everything. It’s great. It’s a great deal for her. She doesn’t have to do anything. Maybe give you a little peck on the cheek or a hug. “You’re such a great friend. You’re so great.”

But if she reaches out in the future, I would assume she wants to see you and make a date in the evening, just you and her. If she wants to say, “Can I bring my friend? I’d say, “No. I’d rather just you and I get together.” And then, see what she says. If she tries to back up say, “Alright, call me if you change your mind. Call me when your schedule frees up.” Never, ever agree to go out with a woman and her friend. Don’t ever agree. When she says, “Can I bring my friend?” You say, no. “Can I bring my sister?” No. “Can I bring my brother?” No. “I’m not interested, no.”

Never, ever do that, because you’re getting a cockblocker thrown in there. That’s what’s going on. And this is a great email to illustrate exactly why the book says don’t do this, but I don’t think he’s read it yet. But anybody else that’s seeing this can go, “Oh, now that makes sense,” because I think pretty much every guy universally has probably been on a date like this, especially when they’re younger and they don’t know any better.

This guy spent all this time, he’s done all his texting, he’s hung out with her like three times, paid for everything for him, for her, for a friend. His bank account has gotten drained, his time has gotten drained, and his blue balls are ready to explode on him, the poor dude. But, hey man, you did it to yourself. You employed a crappy strategy that communicated you had no confidence, and you didn’t know what you were doing.

And then when her and her friend left, she probably went over to some dude’s house, Chad ThunderCock, and he rearranged her insides. And his friend Chad ThunderCock 2 rearranged her friend’s insides, while their bellies were full of the food that you bought them. Isn’t that nice? That’s how it works.

You don’t get what you deserve in life. You only get what you negotiate. And if you want to negotiate effectively, go get “How To Be A 3% Man,” get “Mastering Yourself.” Also, you can read “Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations.” Just subscribe to the email newsletter on my website.

And if you’d like to get my help – maybe you got yourself into a jam with a girl and things are going sideways, you don’t know what to do, maybe you’re trying to figure out your purpose in life – go to UnderstandingRelationships.com click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.

“Women who bring friends with them on dates are using their friends as blockers to prevent any physical intimacy or romance from happening. They also may be interacting with a weak and gullible guy who is easy to manipulate and use for free fun and entertainment, especially if he has more money than common sense. Smart men know that women who have genuine romantic interest and who respect them will never ask to bring their friends along on dates, nor will they entertain it or agree to it.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne