Why Getting Fired From My Job Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me!

Why getting fired from your job can be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is a previous coaching client. He got fired from his job two months ago. He says it’s been one of the best things that’s ever happened to him and he shares some of his wins and successes since then.

He also has a list of questions he’s struggling with. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This particular email is from a viewer who I did a coaching call with him a while back. About two months ago, he got fired from his job, but he’s been a good student and he has the right attitude because when shit like this happens, which this is life, things are going to happen. You might get downsized, you might get laid off, the company might get bought out, your position gets eliminated, the company goes bankrupt. I mean, these things are just going to happen and they never seem to happen at a good time. It’s always a terrible time for shit like this to happen, but you got to be resourceful and you got to ask yourself good quality questions.

So when shit like this happens, when your life completely goes sideways, when your girl leaves you, you find out she’s cheating on you with somebody else, somebody steals a bunch of money from your company, or you get fired from your job unexpectedly, you got to ask yourself, “What’s good about this? What can I learn from this? How can I use this? How can I become better? How can I become more successful in the future? What can I do to learn from this and prevent something like this happening in the future?” You gotta act. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the questions that you consistently ask yourself.

So this guy does a pretty good job of recovering and having a good attitude, because other good things are happening. So he’s got some good wins that are happening despite the fact that he’s lost his job. He’s got the right attitude towards it, which is great. Then he’s got some questions and concerns at the end of what he’s learned and what he’s done.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

Hope you’ve been keeping well. It’s now been two months since I was fired from my job. There have been a lot of downs and there were periods where I felt completely worthless.

These things are going to happen, but you got to focus on the positive. Again, what’s good about this? What can I learn from this? How can I be better in the future?

But if I look back, this may have been the best thing that ever happened to me. I was living life on auto-pilot, afraid to take real action and go after what I want. In the last two months I’ve:

• Read the book nine times.

Talking about 3% Man.

On my 10th read – and watched an embarrassing number of videos.

• Found a new therapist who I’ve been open and honest with from the start.

Well, if you feel like your therapist, whether it’s a one-on-one therapist, couples or relationship therapists is not helping you, fire them and find somebody new. Find somebody who you like, who likes you, and who you feel like you’re making progress, because success is making progress. Quite frankly, there’s a lot of shitty therapists out there. So don’t be afraid to fire somebody.

If you’ve been going to a bunch and you’re not getting any better, your life’s not getting any better because there are a lot of crappy ones out there, and I hear about it all the time. 99% of the guys that are married, in a relationship or with a live-in girlfriend, they’re already in couples therapy, even though they’re on the phone with me, and I just hear a lot of the horror stories oftentimes, especially when they get a woman therapist, the woman oftentimes will side with the girlfriend or the wife just because she’s got mommy issues. The whole reason they became a therapist in the first place is because they were trying to figure out themselves, because they recognized they were fucked up.

So just because somebody has a degree, went to school for a couple of years or got a license to do that kind of stuff, doesn’t mean they’re good or they’re competent. There are a lot of incompetent ones out there.

• Gotten better at holding eye contact and striking up small conversations with people day to day (e.g., In coffee shops).

Elevators, standing in line at the grocery store, that kind of thing. If you have a hard time meeting people, meeting women or starting conversations, what you got to do is you got to practice your small talk. So that’s something you got to force yourself to do, especially if you’ve always been introverted, or maybe you’re a younger guy and you just spent too much of your life and your time having your face stuck in your phone and not enough interactions with other human beings.

• Had interviews with five different companies (No offer yet, sadly).

I would encourage you to read Mastering Yourself. There’s also a video. I mean, I go into extensive detail in the book, but there’s a video that’s like an abbreviated version of How To Get Any Job You Want, so there’s a process to that. Honestly, talking or having five different interviews in two months, you should be going on interviews every week until you get a job. So Google that video, How To Get Any Job You Want.

• Made an effort to reach out to friends and organize meetups (I usually have at least one outing now every week).

Well, that’s important. One of the biggest regrets that people on their deathbed all say is that, “I wish I had kept in touch with my friends,” because what happens is life goes by, you lose touch, people’s numbers change and you have no way of contacting them, and the next thing you know, you’re on your deathbed. That’s a big regret for a lot of people, is that they didn’t keep in touch with their friends because life got in the way, a relationship got in the way, raising kids got in the way, growing their business got in the way and the decades go by. Then when you got time in your hands, those people are either dead or that you’ve totally lost touch and there’s no way to reconnect. You just let the relationship die. So it’s good that you’re doing that.

• Met a girl on Hinge and hooked up with her on the first date (Still going strong on three dates now).

Well, that’s awesome.

• Been more assertive around other people.
• Go to NSA sessions regularly.

That’s Network Spinal Analysis, also known as Network Chiropractic Care.

So I wrote about that extensively, something if you guys want to try, if you haven’t already, on the home page, my YouTube channel, there is a playlist of Consciousness Exercises with Doctor D’Anna and Gracie demonstrating stages one through 12. I highly recommend, at a minimum once a week, and if you got time, three times a week. Spend about an hour, hour and a half, and just go through stages one through 12 in front of your big screen TV. You’ll feel a hell of a lot better, especially if you’re going through a really shitty time, you can reach out to Doctor D’Anna, BeSimplyWell.com, and see if he’s got a recommendation for a good level three network chiropractor in your area. Or if you can afford it, fly to Orlando and spend two weeks there. When he’s in town, I get worked on him a bunch. It makes a big difference.

I’ve ruminated a lot in the last few weeks about everything I’ve missed out on in the last 10 years, but I’m trying my best to take action once again.

Well, one thing that I love that I heard from Steve Jobs, something he used to do every day was he would get up and he would look himself in the mirror every day, and he would ask himself, “If today is my last day on earth, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?” When the answer was “No” to many days in a row, he knew he needed to change something. So that’s why you always should think in terms of like when it comes to your goals, you feel like being lazy, what are you OK with going to your grave, having not experienced or done or tried? Could be asking somebody out, or a specific girl out, asking more women out, starting a business, taking risks, reconnecting old friends, whatever happens to be, because that is a real motivator.

When you really think, we all lose everything. Everyone you love, everything you build, it’s all going to turn to dust. So the real question is, how are you going to spend your life? How do you want to spend the time that you do have left?

In these periods, consuming your content gives me a lot of perspective and a reason to keep moving forward, so thank you.

Well, we all have to have an emotional compelling reason for doing what we do. In other words, we need an emotional compelling “Why?” So first, we need to know what we want. Number two, we need to know why we want it. Number three, we’ve got to have emotional compelling reasons why we want it, because it’s the emotional compelling reasons, the fire burning our belly, our desire to do something, accomplish something or experience something that keeps us moving forward even when life looks hopeless. Like in this case, he’s trying to get a job. He’s been on five interviews and nothing yet.

I have some questions that I was hoping you could help with:

• I’ve realized that the way I view myself is even worse than I thought. How were you able to finally value yourself? What was the turning point that made you realize you were good enough as you were?

Well, when I was younger, deep down kind of felt like I deserved to be successful, I should be successful. I went to high school with lots of kids that came from wealthy, successful families and I got to know their parents, and if I name names, you would know their companies and you would know who they are and what they’ve done. Being around other people like that, I realize they’re just like me. This guy is not any smarter than I am. I can do this stuff. So it really matters who you associate with.

A big thing that really helped me in my early 20s, I got into Tony Robbins’ work, and he really helped me to understand how my mindset was sabotaging myself. In other words, people do more to avoid pain than they do to gain pleasure. I realized when it came to doing things I knew I needed to do, but I was deep down scared I wasn’t smart enough, I would avoid doing them. Then I would drop the classes that I needed to take in order to get my degree. Then that made me feel bad because I kept setting myself back and added a lot of time to my degree because I kept not passing calculus and dropping it before the drop date. So because I didn’t have that class, I wasn’t able to get into upper level. Then they changed the curriculum. So it added like, almost at that point, it was like 30% of the classes that were required for the degree they decided, “Yeah, these are no longer required. We got these other ones instead.” So I had classes that I took, paid for, did well in, went right out the door. They were useless at that point. So you know, the fact I’m only taking two or three classes this semester that added in about another year, year and a half to getting my degree. So that was not fun.

That’s the kind of thing it makes you want to just go “Fuck it” and give up, but I thought, “Well, if I give up, then what? I’ll never get my contractor’s license. I’ll never become a builder developer. I’ll never be able to buy, fix and sell single family homes for a profit. I’ll never achieve my purpose. I’ll never get the girl I want. I’ll be a loser. My life will be a failure,” and that’s the worst. That’s worse than death, is being alive and knowing that you’re never going to reach your full potential. That was awful.

So because that was so painful, and I learned to look at it differently because of what I learned from Tony Robbins, again I really detailed this stuff in Mastering Yourself, I highly recommend, if you’re struggling now to read Mastering Yourself, because I’ve had some really dark times in my life, and the mindset that I learned enabled me to get through it and continue taking action even when I was fearful, even when life looked hopeless, even when it looked like things were going to work out for me, I kept moving forward. So if I can do it, you can do it. I’m just an average, pasty white guy from Pompano Beach, Florida.

• While I’ve had general conversations with women I’m still afraid to show intent (Even if there may be some interest). Do you have any advice on how to make that final leap? I’ve seen your video about improving social skills, but the fear of rejection is still holding me back.

Look forward to hearing from you, hope you’re still living your best life.

All the best,

Bob

Well, it’s not a final leap. What you have to do is you have to practice small talk. There’s videos referenced in 3% Man. One of them in particular is really important, Improving Your Social Skills and The Process Of Improving Your Social Skills. So you got to practice your small talk and taking women through that process to where you’re able to tell that they’re attracted to you and they’re interested in you. When you do it enough and you have enough repetitions, I don’t know how many women it is. Maybe you got to approach 100. Maybe it’s 1,000, maybe it’s 50, but you have to get in the habit of developing your social skills and improving small talk to the point where asking a woman out, striking a conversation up with a total stranger is like breathing to you. You don’t even have to think about it anymore. It becomes unconscious competence because right now what you are suffering from is conscious incompetence because you just haven’t rehearsed it enough. So you’re too worried about rejection because you haven’t done enough.

So if you follow those two video videos that I recommended and you practice those things, you take measured steps, you take more and more risk as you feel comfortable, then once you get to the point where it’s like breathing and it’s no longer scary to you, then you just do the last step, which is asking them for the number or making an instant date on the spot. It’s a case-by-case basis, because you may be on a vacation somewhere and meet a girl and really click with her, and you’re not going to wait three or four days to call her because you might not be in town three or four days. You’ll make a date right on the spot.

So you want to practice all of those type of scenarios. The big thing is it’s not one final leap or there’s a hair floating around or one final switch that you turn on. It’s a process. So you have to commit to the process of improving your social skills until you get to the point where you can strike up conversations with people anywhere, girls, anywhere, and when you feel comfortable and you see it, they feel comfortable and they’re definitely interested. Then you just hand them your phone with your screen open to where they put in a contact, and then they put their information in.

So I think you’re doing great. You got a good attitude. I would definitely, when it comes to getting a job, read what’s in Mastering Yourself, because that stuff goes into detail. There’s some mindset stuff in there and some techniques and strategies, and you can read the book for free, it’s one of the books that I offer for free in the Members Area of my website, and that’s for the free members. So all you gotta do is put your name, your email, create a password, and the books will open up right in your web browser and you can start reading them right now. It’ll take 30 seconds to log into my website UnderstandingRelationships.com, subscribe to the email newsletter and boom! The books will be right there. So I highly recommend that you do that, especially if you’re going through a really difficult time, because I’ve gone through a lot of them in my life and I gotten out of all of them, and I wrote about it extensively in Mastering Yourself. So there’s a lot of good stuff in there that I know will help you.

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