Why She Blew Him Off

Here is a recent email I got from a client:

Hi Tom,

I’m going to make some comments in the body of your email in (parenthesis like this):

Hey there Corey,

It’s been a long time! I just wanted to ask you a question about a situation that I have with someone. I met this girl through a friend. She’s very pretty, and I’m extremely attracted to her. Basically, a few months ago we were dating for a few weeks. Then I made an aggressive move towards her, and she wasn’t happy with it, (What do you mean by this? What do you mean by “aggressive” move?), so I apologized and then I took her home. (I need more detail.) Later that week, she wanted to be friends. (Just be friends?) I was like okay, but she didn’t want to stop seeing me. (It sounds like she likes having you as a male girlfriend.) She told me that she really liked me, and she was upset when I made that aggressive move towards her. She thought all I wanted to do was use her for ass. That was so completely far from the truth, so for a few weeks I tried seeing her, but it never happened. (Women vote with their feet. If she is with you, she voted for you. If she would not see you = low interest.) Either she broke off plans or I broke off plans, (Broken dates = low interest), so we stopped talking for about a month. Then one day, I uploaded a picture of my tattoo on my phone through Blackberry messenger, and she responded. (You sent her a copy of your tattoo?) We had a brief conversation, and I joked around with her a little bit. I texted her, “Happy Thanksgiving,” and she said the same. I asked her if she wanted to go out again, and I told her that I liked her, (You made an aggressive move, whatever that was, and now you tell her you “like” her? I think she has figured that out by now), but she hasn’t responded. (This reflects low interest on her part.) I know it’s too soon and who knows, by the time you receive this email and respond back, she probably either would have responded or not. (Dude, I’ve got to eat turkey with the family. I have a balanced and healthy life. I do not spend every minute at my desk answering emails and coaching clients.)

I know that there may not be that much detail I’m giving you about the entire situation. (I need more detail on your “aggressive” move, so I can get an idea of what happened that caused her to give you the, “lets just be friends speech.”) I just like her a lot, and I don’t know if it’s regret, or maybe the fact that I just can’t have her. (We always want what we can’t have.) I believe she isn’t talking to anyone else, but I don’t bother her with constant texts, phone calls, or emails. I do like her, and I shared a few good times with her. (It sounds like you blew it with this girl. If I knew what you actually did, I could give you a better idea of where you went wrong and what to do to correct your approach so you succeed next time.) I don’t know. I just don’t want to beat myself up like crazy with this. Anyway, if you can give any feedback or tips, I’d greatly appreciate it.

Thanks,

Tom

Here is my response to him:

Hi Tom,

I can’t give you any useful advice, as I do not know what you did, in order to help you take corrective action. You made this girl feel uncomfortable. That much is obvious. That is a no no. It lowers interest. Don’t be embarrassed about it. I’m your coach, and I am here to help you succeed. Shit happens, and you will screw things up with chicks until you learn the proper way to handle your interactions with women. You need to look at every mistake as what was needed in order to learn. Each woman you practice on helps you improve your skills for the next, even hotter and more fun, chick you will meet. I have noticed that, the quality of woman you are able to attract gets better and better the more confident you become and the better your skills get.

Corey Wayne