How and why the no contact rule works to facilitate re-attraction, getting an ex back or turning things around with someone you may have done and said things to that lowered their romantic attraction to you.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is from a man who details how using the no contact rule, my book and videos is helping him to get his girl back, who had started dating another guy after they broke up. He talks about what he did and said over the past several months to cause her to fall back in love and want to be with him again. This includes her ditching his replacement. The second email is from a woman who has turned off a guy she was dating by texting too much and coming off as being needy and clingy. I discuss what she needs to do to rekindle his interest and get him back to making an effort to see her again. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the bodies of their emails:
First Viewer’s Email:
Damn! Trusting your advice, following your videos and reading your book helped me get my girl back. Please note, as the pessimist I am, it took a real deal to make me believe in your methods, but then again, I was quite down spiritually and needed guidance. (If you apply the things I teach in my book, and you read it 10-15 times so you don’t have to think about it, it will work for you. It doesn’t mean 100% of the time you will get your ex back, but it will give you the best possible chance to get her back or get somebody better the next time around.) To be honest, I read your book once, watched a lot of your videos and made myself a step-by-step action program regarding my situation, and it worked. During your coaching, I managed to extract the most important information for my case and applied your teaching. (That tells me you’re cherry picking, however you need to know everything — pickup skills, dating skills and relationship skills. If you’re missing some of it, eventually, at some point, you’re going to be tested on it.) Long story short, I got dumped for being needy, or as the girl said, “I need to work on myself,” and after your teachings, I managed to get a business for myself, take care of myself and have been meeting and banging new girls. (You focused on being the guy you were before you met your ex.)
I started out with the “No Contact” rule and applied the “Contact me only if you want a relationship with me,” leaving the door open with the gift of a set of keys to my flat. (That’s right out of my article and video, “7 Principles To Get An Ex Back.”) The silence, getting out of the offered “friend zone,” leaving the door open and the “walking away and meaning it” did the job for step one. (The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. If you had agreed to be her friend, she would have just kept you in friend zone while she started up things with this new guy, and eventually she would have chosen the new guy. Scarcity creates value, and that’s the beauty of what “no contact” does. When you completely become scarce and she doesn’t hear from you, it creates value in her eyes. She starts to miss you. Plus, there’s a 90% chance the new guy will be making mistakes, while you are focusing on yourself.) I managed to do all of this shit for a period of 3 months, so putting my girl in place with your advice in step one and starting to work on myself triggered the reaction of her checking on me and my progress each week by her reaching out. (If a woman is chasing you, she isn’t dumping you.) Step two on my part was the “Rejected twice and walk away,” as I offered a date on two occasions and got turned down, (If she turns you down on two consecutive occasions, she has to earn another chance with you and do 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing. That way, it becomes her idea), but still stayed in touch to be checked on as my progress grew. So far, so good. I had said my final words, left the door open and got rejected twice, so now I waited as she was going out with another dude. This was all in a period of 2.5 months. (It made no sense for you to reach out to her. The only way you would bring it up again was if she brought it up.)
Last week, when I understood that I had to go to my girl’s hometown for a show, I’m a rapper by the way, I simply posted pictures of the event on social media, and to spice things up, I posted a photo shoot that I did not too long ago, just as a reminder of how I look for the female fans. All of this was made for my girl to see and trigger her emotions, jealousy, lust and desire to see and feel me, which had the effect of her sending a text via Facebook asking me if those hot pictures of me were posted as a reminder to her of what I looked like and to trigger her emotions as I was coming by in 2 days. (If the ex is trolling your Facebook, and other women are vying for your attention, your value is slowly going up. Your scarcity will create value in her eyes.) My reply, keeping it short and sweet: “I play the mind games baby,” which ended up with HER making a date. I just upgraded it from dinner, to walking her dog, to her visiting my show later, to having coffee the next day at her place, which ended on her couch after that, dinner, a text via Facebook the next day, telling me she loves me, and an immediate phone call telling me, “I love you, and just don’t get scared, but I want you to be the father of my kids. And the guy that I’ve started dating, fuck him.” (You did nothing, lived your life, and she reached out. Good job dude.)
So coach, thank you for being the player that you are. (I’m not a player or a pickup artist. What I am is a coach, and what I teach is negotiating and getting the terms you want for your life.) Keep up the good work, and as for me, I believe that I now have to just continue creating romantic, fun-filled opportunities for sex to happen, without putting labels on us and not mention the past, as that’s her job and mine is to work on myself and continue to court her. (And read the book 10-15 times dude! There are no shortcuts to success. Build on the momentum you’ve got, because you’re going to need those relationship skills if you’re going to maintain it.)
Second Viewer’s Email:
I watched some of your videos and found them very interesting, however I noticed they are all catered towards guys, or so it appears that way. (Not true. A lot of my clients are also women.) Recently, I have been dating a guy I really like, and I’ve been on a dating rampage for the last 2 years. I was in a 5-year relationship prior, only one boyfriend all my entire life of 27 years. Anyhow, I need help, because I really like this guy and don’t want to screw it over. I usually contain an aloof personality when it comes to guys, because I am aware I am attractive and not that dumb. I do have more guy friends, however I attribute it mainly to the fact that I love playing video games, the good stuff, not apps, and I have a career in a male dominated field.
We met online, and our first date was Oktoberfest with his friends. It was nice. Then we met up again at his place, and I gave in. (Hang out, have fun and hook up.) We have been doing similar dates ever since. (I highly encourage you to read my book 10-15 times.) I think he likes me, because he has told me, however lately his texts are becoming less. (When this happens, you have to realize, “Dating Is Like Tennis.” You hit the ball over the net, and you have to wait for him to hit it back. The quickest way to get somebody else’s attention is to remove yours. You’ve been talking and texting with him too much.) I don’t understand why, because we have similar personalities and crack each other up. (He’s a little full of himself, especially if you’re blowing his phone up, and he’s not at the same place emotionally. You’ve got to look at a person’s actions — what he’s doing, saying, thinking and feeling. You need to learn to back off when the other person is not investing as much. If he’s texting less, you have to text less. Remember, scarcity creates value, and that’s the beauty of no contact. Once he perceives you has having more value, he’s going to make more of an effort.) I really try to refrain from texting him, but sometimes I give in. (More than likely, when you become fearful and worry about the future, you text him to see where you stand.) Usually he does the texting. Should I be patient and let him continue initiating the texting, (Yes), or should I talk to him about it? (At this point, there’s nothing to say. You’ve admitted you tend to text too much, and you probably come off as being a little needy and a little clingy. Therefore, your value in his eyes has dropped. The way to regain that is to become scarce again. Then when he starts to doubt and become unsure, he’ll reach out to you.) We have been seeing each other for about 7 weeks. I am not good at keeping track. I usually just go with the flow. I’ve asked some of my guy friends, but they are inexperienced in dating or have horrible relationships. (It’s smart not to take advice from people who don’t have awesome relationships. Only take dating advice from a person that has the kind of healthy relationship you would love to be in.)
Thank you in advance for any input.
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The purpose of life is to enjoy it. To become self-realized as a divine being having a human experience, who is able to influence the creative forces of the universe to conspire with you, to create any kind of life and lifestyle that your heart desires. However, in order to reach your full potential, you must overcome any and all tests of your faith, doubts about yourself and irrational fears. The universe will send the perfect people at exactly the right time to help you make your dreams a reality, and to help you overcome your limitations, so you can reach your full potential. Your imagination gives birth to your heart’s desires, which then becomes your grand, compelling vision and the outcomes you seek to manifest. Your compelling vision is the fire and passion that fuels and inspires your actions. Your actions produce results and experience, which leads to wisdom. Your mind can then be utilized to learn from your experiences, refine and adapt your approach, learn from others who already have the success you want and then influence your future actions. With enough time, persistence, repetition and action, your vision eventually becomes your reality. Therefore, success is not a matter of hope, but simply a matter of time.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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