Why Women Date Losers & Stay With Them Too Long

Why women date losers & stay with them too long.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email update from a viewer whose girlfriend lied about her ex boyfriend. He’s really struggling with why she would still sleep with a guy who was a loser and keep giving him chance after chance. He says he thinks logically and he just can’t understand why she would do this.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Why Women Date Losers & Stay With Them Too Long”.

So this email is an update from a viewer whose previous email answered in a Newsletter a few weeks back. So he’s been in a relationship with this girl. I can’t remember how long. I think it’s under a year. And so, when they first met and started dating, she had told him that she had broken up with her boyfriend, didn’t talk to him again.

Told him to have a nice life. He was a jerk. He was terrible in bed and all these things. Well, as the topic came up, occasionally in conversation over the next 6 to 12 months that they were dating, she basically revealed that actually after they broke up, she ended up going back and hooking up with him. I think he came and stayed with her. Or maybe I’m confused with somebody else.

But at the end of the day, she hooked up with this guy again after talking all this trash. And he’s like, “How can I even trust this girl now?” And so it still bothers him. They had a long conversation about it after I did the Video Newsletter. But the thing he’s just really struggling with, and obviously guys that are new to really understanding why women do what they do, is, “How could she possibly go and sleep with this guy again after talking about what a loser he was?”

And “Why did she stay with him so long?” Because he’s looking at it going, “I’m 100 times better than this guy. I don’t understand why a woman of her caliber would date this dude?” Because at the end of the day, the short answer is, it’s all about the emotions. Women care about how they feel about you. It doesn’t matter how much you like them, or what a good dude you are, or whether you’re a loser or not. The only thing that matters is the emotions.

And unfortunately, a lot of losers are good at manipulation and getting women hooked. So let’s go through his email. Because this is something that’s really important to understand, because a lot of guys do this. They compare themselves to who she used to date, or especially if like you’re working in a big company and you know, she used to date a different guy and you’re thinking, how could she date?

I think all of us have had that happen, where you meet a girl and you’re just so into her, and then you find out who she used to date, and you’re like, “What the hell was she thinking? Are you kidding me? That guy’s a douche. She’s a loser. Like, what the hell?” It’s about the emotions. That’s what matters most.

Women care mostly about how they feel about you. Not what a great dude you are, how big your bank account is, or even if you’re handsome like Tom Brady, it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is emotions. And you have to accept it because they don’t think like us. This guy’s thinking logically, it doesn’t make any sense.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

Thank you for answering my email, I really appreciate it. If you want to know an update we are still together but to be honest it’s hard for me to stop thinking about it sometimes. That she told me they broke up in December never saw or talked to him after that than that happens. 

In other words, so it was December of last year, December 2025, that she broke up with this guy. And so I assume they started dating sometime earlier this year. She’s like, “Oh, that guy’s he’s gone. He’s in the rear view mirror. I never saw him again. Screw him. He’s a jerk. He was terrible in bed.” And then he finds out, well actually, she did hang out and have fun and hook up with him.

I don’t know how many times after they broke up, but she did, and he just can’t wrap his head around it. And if you don’t accept reality, that’s why you suffer. This is just the way women are. If you don’t like it, talk to the big man upstairs. That’s why being the nice guy and doing things for a girl and fixing her plumbing or rotating the tires in her car, that shit doesn’t matter. What matters is how they feel about you.

And to be clear she never said he was like bad in bed.

Okay, I thought she said it.

But it wasn’t something special it worked. 

So she didn’t say it was bad and bad. It just was like “eh”. But clearly if she went back, she was thirsty. She obviously had to have liked having sex because if he really was terrible in bed, she wouldn’t have hooked up with him.

I wonder how she could stay with this loser when I heard stories of him thinking of her being with other guys throwing her out of the car because of that thought. Him asking her if she came and got mad if she didn’t than she lied about it to avoid arguments.

So we know this woman also lies when she’s in bed. “Oh, you were so great. You’re the best.” Most guys are like, “Yeah!”, they can’t tell.

When I hear this shit I question why she would still end up with him.

Because her feelings, that’s why. Remember human beings, we all make our buying decisions based upon emotions. And then we use logic and reason to justify that. Every woman that you date or will date or have dated has dated guys that were not as good as you. They weren’t of your caliber. And I know that’s disconcerting and frustrating, but that’s the way it is. You look and you think, well, women make pretty crappy decisions a lot of the time. Yeah.

Because asking a woman if she came after sex then get mad if she didn’t what the fuck I laugh how unattractive it is. If one of my guy friends would do that il slap him. She also said she didn’t get wet etc. and he also got mad because of that.

Well, she clearly wasn’t turned on. She’s not getting wet. She’s not turned on or she’s got a medical issue. So keep that in mind. If it’s not like Niagara Falls down there, she’s not that turned on. And you need to slow slowed down. And take your time.

Like all those wired things. I’m like okay. Why be with that fucking loser then?

Because of her feelings. That’s it doesn’t have to make sense. It won’t make sense. It has nothing to do with logic and reason.

I understand they had it good in the beginning and she fell for him.

Well, she is emotionally bonded, and at the end of the day, most women are gonna be like, “He’d be such a great boyfriend IF, I could just fix this thing about him. Just stop from being a loser. If he could hold down a job more than two weeks.”

Just wondering if this is normal or am I having a stupid girlfriend? 

Well, it’s definitely possible that your girlfriend is stupid, but it’s normal. Every girl I’ve ever dated, no matter how hot they were. When I see pictures or I hear about some of the antics of previous dudes they dated or were in a relationship with, I was like, “oh man.” And I’ve had that experience where I remember meeting a girl that I had a long term relationship with many years.

And I actually also met the guy that she used to date. And I was just thinking, “Why the fuck would she ever be with that guy? I was like, are you kidding me? Like, doesn’t she have good taste?” Like, doesn’t matter. He acted like an alpha male. This is why you see the hottest women you’ve ever seen in your life with some dude that’s fucking butt ugly. Because he has it, that it factor is masculinity. The guy’s short. He’s ugly, fugly. Not a handsome dude, but yet she’s all over him.

Just wondering if this is normal or am I having a stupid girlfriend? I’m logical and don’t understand how a woman could be with this type of guys since I see myself 100 times better.

Well again, this is why the more you talk about the exes, especially when you start seeing pictures, you’re like, that guy’s not even attractive. Like I don’t. What did she see in him? It’s how he made her feel. So that’s why I say it’s not really want you’re trying to find out when you talk about a woman’s past or who she dated, was she loyal? Was the guy loyal she was with? Does she make good decisions? Like what was going on there? Is this somebody that I can trust? Her word.

I know sex a lot I know how stuff works with girls since I had a bunch. But this thing I don’t seem to understand how she could still be with a guy like that. Well she left him at the end but like why?

Because of her feelings also. Because her feelings were gone. She didn’t feel the same way. And at the end of the day, you could be the best dude in the world. I mean, let’s look at Tom Brady. We talked about him off and on over the years. They presented the world. What a great marriage and how happy they were and had the perfect family. When in reality he was checked out. He wasn’t showing up. He wasn’t present as Giselle said.

And despite Tom’s good looks, his success. He’s a multi-millionaire. He’s a goat at what he did as a NFL quarterback. Had kids with him. Nice house. They did commercials together. They had businesses together. They had property together. She still left him and cheated on him with a Jujitsu guy, and married him and had his baby.

You say, “Why? What the hell?” It’s about feelings and emotions. He was present for her. He listened to her when Tom was too busy playing football and doing other things, because eventually she just gave up and she really torched him bad publicly. She was not a good person.

Why have sex again she said it could be with a random dude but he was there so like whatever. As a guy hearing that it’s just. You are stupid and stop lying you wanted him. 

Like girls make dumb decisions. Again, they’ll say there’s no way I’m sleeping with a guy. And then they come over, I think this is the same guy. I could be wrong. I just can’t remember. Um, there was a girl who had broken up with her boyfriend, and they were on good terms. And he’s like, “Hey, you can stay in one of my rental properties.” I don’t know if it’s the same dude. It might not be.

But anyway, she goes and stays in a rental property and then he basically just shows up and he’s like, “Well, I’m staying here. This is my place.” And he seduced her and he’s thinking like, “Why? Emotions?” She said no. But at the end of the day, he was masculine. He probably knew how to push her buttons. So she got turned on and he seduced her, plain and simple. It just happened. What does the book say about sex?

It’s got to be the man’s fault. Because women submit to the guy, they get overpowered, they want to be overpowered, but they also want to be able to say no and have you stop. But they also, like a hairy beast plowing away, sweat flying everywhere. They like that. I didn’t make them this way. It’s just, women are freaks, man. Any guy that has ever gotten the hall pass to the land of women, as Anne Perrin would describe it.

And you sat in a room full of women talking about sex, they are more graphic, and more dirty than guys are. And most men never experience that. And it’s appalling when they do hear it. But that’s the way they are. I mean, look at it. It’s like all the stuff they have to deal with, with raising babies, puke and poop and piss and vomit and snot and crap smeared on the walls. Fluids.

I know you talk about this in your book but it’s just weird for me.

I know it’s hard to accept. Because you viewed the world a certain way through your like Disneyland, and then you got a cold dose of reality. And it’s like it doesn’t make sense. It’s just the emotions. If you act masculine enough, women are gonna do stupid things. I mean, just look at all the women that over the years, because every time something like this happens, it’s on the news and everybody’s talking like, “Why would she throw her life away?”

A woman’s an attorney, she’s hijacks a helicopter, makes the guy land by the prison, the dude comes running out. There was a famous one a couple years ago as a woman in New York. She’s cheating on her husband with two guys that are in prison for murder, and she’s hooking up with both of them. And she’s like, “Yeah, let’s kill my husband.” And so she leaves some doors unlocked and was going to basically meet them where a manhole cover was, I guess, somewhere where they would come out.

And their plans were to go to Mexico and live happily ever after. But she opened all the doors and everything for them, and they got out. But she didn’t show up to pick him up and she went home. And then obviously the prison figured out who it was that opened the doors and left the doors unlocked and let these guys out. And the crazy thing is, after all of that, after finding out that his wife had planned to have these murderers that were in prison, I think for life, come and murder him so they could go run off and live happily ever after.

But then she chickened out the last minute. And you know what happened? He’s like, “I love my wife. I’m gonna stay with her.” It’s like, what the fuck is that? She’s gonna have you murdered. And yet “I’m gonna stay with her.” So I know she got sentenced to prison. I don’t know for how long, but he’s like, he’s a cuck. He’s gonna stay with her. And so those two guys got out. They ended up getting into a gunfight with the police. I think one of, I know one of them was killed. I think maybe they both were actually killed, but it’s just.

And the guy’s like, “I can work with this. I can fix her.” And you say, well, that doesn’t make any logical sense. Any normal thinking human being would go, when they find out their wife was planning to have them murdered by these guys, she was fucking in prison. Not only did he forgive her for the cheating, he also forgave her for planning to murder him.

Because the way I guess the way he looked at it was, “Well, she didn’t follow through. She kind of left him hanging.” But at the end of the day, these guys, you know, somehow got a hold of guns. They got a hold of money. They went on the lam. The police tracked them down and died in a hail of gunfire. They died of lead poisoning, actually. So again, you look at that it’s like, that’s a dude and a girl. That’s how powerful emotions are. This is just human behavior.

How can you fall for someone and then keep being with him after all those unattractive behaviors.

Well they stay until the respect and the interest is totally gone. And then when they leave, that’s why they’re usually gone for good.

How could she leave him but have sex because you want dick is okay with the guy that made your pussy dryer than the dessert in Libya. Thanks again for you answer coach keep the good work up.

Regards,

Bob

Well, I mean, it’s again, you just have to accept that that’s the reality. So you have to look at yourself and realize it doesn’t matter what a good dude you are, being a good guy is not going to get you laid. Being a good guy is not going to keep your girl faithful and loyal. Acting like a man who she respects, admires, and looks up to is the right approach. And you just have to vet it for character to find out whether or not she’s somebody that will actually be loyal.

And obviously, like I discussed in the previous email, it was mostly around you’re vetting her for character. Can you trust her? So she lied a little bit about that. But long term, is it going to work out with this girl? It just depends on what other things she lies about. Because it’s easy for us to sit here and just go, “Oh yeah, dump her, dude, screw her.” But at the end of the day, he’s decided to stay with her. He’s not happy. And so but the important thing is, is he has awareness.

Now he’s paying attention. He’s laser focused on, “Can I trust this girl? Can I trust her, and is she worthy of my commitment long term?” Because she has to earn it. And if she doesn’t earn it, he can always kick her to the curb and go on down the road recognizing that he tried, but she just had too many character flaws, too many red flags. So thanks for the update. Let us know what happens in a few months if you stay with her, if you decide to leave.

But this is pretty much every girl you’re ever going to date or hook up with when you find out everything about their past, who they dated, who they hooked up with, you’re going to be appalled. You’re like, what? It’s like, don’t try to make sense of it. It’s just the way they are. Just here to tell you how it is. You don’t like it, again, you can bitch to the big man upstairs. I’m just a messenger.

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