Why Women You Don’t Want Are Crazy For You & Those You Do Are Indifferent

Why the women you want don’t want you & the ones you don’t are crazy for you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a new viewer who after finding my work realized why a girl he started casually hooking up with is all over him and the ones he really wants are indifferent, aloof and have low interest.

He shares the epiphanies that he’s had since reading and starting to apply 3% Man. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

I think every guy has had this experience at some point in his life. I know, I sure did when I was younger in my teenage years and my 20s. It’s like, anytime I met somebody I was really super into and who seemed to be really into me, at least at first. I’d get about two or three weeks in and then poof! I get ghosted or friend-zoned, and I couldn’t figure out why, and when I asked, I always got explanations. It didn’t make any sense and weren’t helpful. Yet, the women that I dated that I didn’t really give a shit about I wasn’t that into were all over me like white on rice, stuck to me like a sucker-fish. It made no sense back then, but it sure does now.

This particular emailer is a new viewer. After he found my work, he realized that this girl that he just started kind of casually hanging out, having fun, and hooking up with was just all over him and just easy and effortless to be with. Yet this other girl who he was really super into just couldn’t even give him the time of day, and he realized why that was. In a nutshell, the simple explanation is, the girls that we don’t care about we’re indifferent. We could “Take it or leave it.” We’re aloof. We’re unpredictable. We’re mysterious. They can’t read our interest. They can’t figure this out. There’s just something different about us. They have to work. We’re a challenge for them. In other words, they have to work to get us and get our attention, which is the way it should be, because women are designed to do that. They naturally and innately do this unprompted. It’s natural for them. When we’re dating somebody we’re really into and we don’t know any better, we act completely different than we do with the girls who we don’t care about.

The idea is, like I talk about in the book, you got to treat all women the same. You got to treat the ones that you’re super into as if you’re not that into them and you’re a little skeptical because quite frankly, when women start dating a guy, they’re wondering whether or not he’s a good guy for them, he’s a good match, or if they should or should not be dating him. They have the attitude of like, “Well hey, let’s just live in the moment and see what happens,” but most guys, since we’re visual creatures, they see a hot girl and they think, “Oh, I want her to be my future ex-wife or my future ex-girlfriend” or whatever. “I want to make her mine. She’s the one.” Then what happens is we’re terrified of losing them because it doesn’t happen very often when we meet somebody that knocks our socks off and who feels the same way.

So what do we do? We’re extra nice. We’re extra compliant. We’re soft. The woman starts testing us a little, trying to push us around, trying to change the plans a little bit. When you’re extra nice and extra accommodating, that’s when they start trying to jerk you around, cancel plans, change plans. Do things you don’t expect, leave you on read, leave you hanging, and you just don’t behave the same way. You allow them to treat you like a doormat or disrespect you, and as the weeks go by, they realize you’re kind of soft, squishy and too scared to stand up for yourself. So you just put up with the BS and it just doesn’t go well.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach Corey,

I stumbled upon your channel after a nasty breakup with someone I thought was my person. I made every single mistake during and after our relationship ended. Total beta male bitch!

Dude, we’ve all been there.

I began following you and watching your videos for some guidance. After about two months of watching, I purchased How To Be A 3% Man on Audible and play it on repeat while I work.

Well ideally, the best way to learn the book is to put the audio-book on two-speed and then follow along with a digital or physical copy. In this case, because it forces your eyes to look at the words and hear the words as they’re being spoken without being distracted, because when you’re just listening to it while you’re at work, it’s kind of background noise. You’re in and out of consciousness, you’re in and out of paying attention to it, and it’s just going to take you many more times to go through it to really get it, but if you sit down, you put the audio-book on two-speed and then follow along with a digital or physical copy, you can get through it in about four hours and you’ll really be focused on it.

I mean, maybe you do it in two hour blocks or one hour blocks four times a week or whatever. So once a week you get through a complete read in. It’s much better to concentrate on it. It’s just going to take you longer to learn it if you’re listening to it as background noise.

It’s my third time through it this week and I had an epiphany or moment of clarity. 

I wasn’t sure if these techniques or masculine skills and traits were legit until I realized that without actually try to use them on someone I wasn’t interested in they began working. 

Well, that’s why I say all the time, even if you think I’m totally full of shit because I don’t look like somebody that would know this stuff or be a Jedi master at it, if you apply what’s in this book and also what’s in Mastering Yourself, you’re going to get way better results than you’ve ever gotten before. Like I said, this guy just kind of stumbled upon that, and here’s his feedback on that.

I wasn’t intending on being the hang out, have fun and hook up kind of guy with this particular women. I also wasn’t intending on only initiating contact 20% to 30%, or having a “Take it or leave it” attitude.

Which is basically being indifferent. In other words, you don’t get upset if she takes longer to reply. You don’t get butt-hurt at things she does or says you’re amused and enchanted instead of butt-hurt and pissed off. You don’t get perturbed because masculinity is calm. Feminine energy is chaos.

It just kind of happened without me knowing.

Well, it’s like I said, every guy’s kind of had this experience. Girls you don’t really care about, you could “Take it or leave it” one way. It’s like hey, you’re totally indifferent to seeing them or not. If they’re like, “Oh, I’m not really sure if I can get together this week,” you’re like, “Hey, no problem. Well, figure it out and hit me up. If I haven’t made other plans with my buddies, we can still get together.” That’s the indifference. That’s the “Take it or leave it “kind of attitude.

Then when the woman hears that, she’s like, “Oh.” Then she tries harder because you’re a challenge, but the beta male goes, “OK well, please let me know. I really want to see you,” and she says, “OK, I’ll text you Friday and let you know if I can make it,” and Friday is your only night open and she knows it’s your only night open. Then Friday rolls around and you’re like, “Oh man, am I going to see this girl? I haven’t heard from her.” Then you don’t wait for her to reach out, and then you text her, “Hey, are we still on for tonight?” “Oh, darn it, I’m so sorry. My best friend’s parakeet died because it choked on her goldfish, and I gotta go comfort her and be there because it was really a special goldfish and parakeet. You know, I gotta help her with her grief therapy,” but when she gives you the, “Oh, I’m not sure if I can make it,” you’re like, “Hey, if you’re not sure you can make it Friday, why don’t you give me a day when you’re definitely available?” And she’s like, “Well, I’m just not sure. My schedule,” just say, “Hey, no problem, figure out your schedule and get back to me.” That’s what indifference would do.

You’re not going to block out Friday night and give her Friday night. If she’s unsure of it, you’ll say, “Hey, Friday is my only day off, and if you’re not sure we can meet, let’s just do it another time when your schedule is more firm.” If she really doesn’t care to see you, she’ll go”OK,” but if she wants to see you, but is not sure about you, is kind of testing you. Then you do the, “Well, let’s just do it another night. When your schedule’s more open, she’ll say, “Oh, I can definitely make it Friday. What time?” And her attitude would totally change, and it’s a beautiful thing.

Meanwhile, the woman I was actually interested in and wanted back got the basic beta male bitch version of me.

You guessed it. After weeks of beta male bitch boy, ex stopped responding ghosted and is in a new relationship.

Ouchy! Well, we’ve been there. Pain is life’s change agent. It’s life’s way of saying what you’re doing is sub-optimal and you need to change your approach.

While the woman I didn’t have an interest in came closer and closer and tried harder when I inadvertently and naturally was implementing these practices from the book. 

The proof is in the pudding man. The masculine shit works even if you don’t want it to or aren’t trying LOL, and the beta shit doesn’t no matter how hard you try.

Well, scarcity creates value. A man who loves and values himself and his time does not allow anybody to waste it or jerk him around, no matter how hot she is, because his attitude is, “There’s another bus every 15 minutes.”

Continuing to learn more and follow you while I grow and master the implementation of this way of life.

Thanks again! This stuff works!

Bob

I know it does, and if you’re watching and going, “I don’t know that fucking shaved head guy on YouTube. His voice is kind of annoying, and he’s got these fucking dogs and puppies and all these noises and shit that happens in the background, man,” just apply what’s in the book. That’s the beauty of it.

Even if you think I’m full of shit, if you apply it, not only you apply it in your own life, but you can observe other people and watch. Watch the interactions of men and women out in public. You’ll spot the behavior. You’ll spot that basic beta male bitch behavior in men, and the women are disgusted and annoyed by the guy. Then you’ll see the men that are the leaders and the women are all over them, touching them, holding hands, loving on them, following them everywhere. “Anything you want to do? Wherever you want to go, honey? Sure, baby.” “Yes, daddy.” You can see it. That’s the beauty.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.