Why You Must Walk If She Insists On Being Friends Only

Why you must walk away & never look back if she insists on being friends only.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is trying to date a woman he really likes. However, she won’t make dates and keeps insisting on being friends only. He still believes she really likes him because he’s only focused on his interest in her while ignoring she is adamant about being friends only.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Well, you don’t get what you deserve in life. You only get what you negotiate. If you want sex and romance and a woman is insisting on friends only, friends first, or any other kind of nonsense like that, you got to politely decline. Tell her you’re not interested in that and what you do want, and for her to reach out if she ever changes her mind.

So this particular email is from a viewer who is trying to date a woman he really likes. However, she won’t make dates and she keeps insisting on being friends only. Yet he thinks if he just keeps asking and pestering her, she’s magically gonna be attracted to him and want to jump his bones. This is what happens when you only focus on your interest in a woman and you completely ignore the fact she wants nothing to do with you. So he still believes she really likes him. Again, he’s only focused on his interest in her and doesn’t pay attention to the fact that she keeps saying friends only.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

I hope everything is going well. I’m a Pakistani student pursuing his masters in Germany and started my first read of the book when I started talking to the girl. So my sad story starts with meeting a Portuguese girl (Germany born) at my dorm party at the end of June. She came with a friend of a friend. We hung out at my place and then went to the party. She was vibing with me and at the end I got her Instagram and contacted her two days later.

You should have gotten her phone number, not her Instagram. Girls typically will give out their Instagram because they want you to follow her, and they want you to be their fan. They’re not interested in getting in your pants, especially if you ask for the phone and then you accept. When she says Instagram, you just say, “Well, I don’t use Instagram. Just put your phone number in there,” and just handle your phone with the screen open to the input contact screen.

I could see from her texts that she was really into me…

Are you sure about that?

…And set up to meet in the afternoon for bubble tea. I know my mistake as our schedule wasn’t aligning as she was gonna go to work later.

So he’s doing like a lunch date, basically. “Hey, let’s meet for tea in the afternoon.”

We had a great time. She was touching me and I was touching her and she was doing most of the talking, but at the end, I chickened out for the kiss and gave her a hug and said goodbye and she went on her train…

Well, if you hesitate, you will masturbate.

…As she lives in another city 30 minutes from mine. Minutes later, she texted me, “Thanks for paying” (She wanted to pay for her own drink because of German culture)…

Is that what she told you? The reason she wanted to pay for her own drink is because she didn’t want you thinking it was a date, that’s why. That’s why women will do that. It has nothing to do with the culture. You bought a bullshit excuse.

…And thanked me for the day. Later on, we used to chat a lot after the date. I know my mistake as she was the one initiating, but I was not able to arrange a second date as her exam was close. 

So that tells me you were probably talking and texting on the phone constantly, but not meeting in person. So you talked and texted her out of liking you, and then she realized you could be one of her Harry Honda’s and her gay male girlfriends, and you could do things for her, take her out, spend money on her, and all she’s got to do is give you a hug or a kiss on the cheek, and you’ll be jumping up and down and doing cartwheels in the parking lot, thinking that you’re getting somewhere, but you’re not.

In between, my friend asked me if I was serious with her and I said yes.

I would be like, “What? Serious?”

Then he revealed a detail she was friends with benefits with the friend she came with and something happened between them after the party on the day I met her (Not sex) and the fuck buddy was about to get engaged and she knows that.

So she was fucking a dude that had a girlfriend. Sounds like a real high quality woman.

On our first date, she told me she was hanging out with a guy friend, and girlfriend of the man showed up and wanted to punch her out of the blue and now, “If any of my guy friends are in a committed relationship, I stay away and not get too close to the person,” which is contradicting with the thing above my friend told me. The guy is engaged now.

She contacted me after the exam, but was flaky about meeting and she took longer to respond, but the texts weren’t shorter and I never double texted.

Well, you’re still the one doing the reaching out, the chasing and the pursuing. Chasing after a girl who doesn’t even want to hang out with you. She’s fucking somebody else but can’t make time for you it’s like dude, wake the fuck up! You are in a world of delusion.

So I told her to get back to me when her schedule opens up. I reached back to her almost two weeks after we chatted a bit…

Dude, you told her to get in touch when her schedule opened up, and then you didn’t wait. Hello? You said you read the book. Come on, man! This is the opposite of what the book teaches. The book says, don’t do this.

Dating is like tennis. If she says she doesn’t know and you’re waiting for her to get back to you when her schedule opens up and then you wait two weeks, and since you hadn’t heard from her, you thought to re-engage pursuit again? This is what a beta male does. The guy that’s got a scarcity mindset and got no action.

…But I could see she was taking longer and I asked her out for the last time, chat screenshot attached. In the end, she said she is occupied by things…

Remember, she was fucking some other guy, but she’s too busy to meet you because she doesn’t like you. Remember he was like, “Oh, I know she’s really into me.” Dude, you’re delusional. There’s no evidence that she was ever into you from your email.

…(That I know, she works two jobs and is working on her thesis) and wants to be friends for now.

So now she’s telling you “Friends.”

I went into no-contact and said I am not interested in friendship. Did I handle it correctly?

Kind Regards,

Bob

Yes.

No-contact means you’re never going to speak to her again as long as you live, unless she reaches out to you first. So if she ever reaches out, say, “I’d like to get together for a date, but as I said last time, I’m not interested in anything platonic. If you’re down for a date, I’d love to see you. If not, take care,” but I would say you’re probably never going to hear from her. It’s not going to go anywhere because you completely blew it with her and you’re in love with the fantasy of who you want this girl to be, and you’re just completely not even paying attention to the reality.

The reality is, she was fucking somebody else. She doesn’t care about you. She fucks guys that have girlfriends and doesn’t care. She’s a low character woman. I would not get involved with her in any way, shape or form. Even if she reaches out, the best thing to do would be just to ghost her.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.