Why You Never Pursue A Woman Who Insists On A Platonic Relationship Only

Why you must walk away from women who insist on a platonic relationship only.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a new viewer who got dumped by his girlfriend for the 3^rd time. He’s reading 3% Man, as background noise while working and doing other things. His ex keeps insisting on platonic friends only, rejects his romantic advances and keeps pursuing trying to change her mind but is getting nowhere. He asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter in the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “Why You Never Pursue A Woman Who Insists On A Platonic Relationship Only”.

Well, this particular email is from a he’s a new viewer and he got dumped by his girlfriend for the third time. So he’s reading 3% Man, but he’s kind of reading in his background or listening to it as background while he’s at the gym and doing other things, so he’s not really taking the time to focus on the material. So when you do that, it’s just going to take you a lot more reads and a lot more listens to take the information in. The most effective way to learn what’s in the book is to get a physical or a digital copy, and then get the audiobook and listen to the audiobook while you’re looking at the words being spoken. And if you put the audiobook on 2X or even 1.5X, you’ll get through it about 4 to 5 hours and you can get your reads in.

And it forces your brain to look at the words and hear as they’re being spoken. Versus working out and driving in your car and just occasionally tuning in and tuning out of what’s being said. So it’s just not a very; it’s not the most effective way to just listen to it is like background noise in your daily life. You really want to take the time to learn this. And because he’s been through the book three times and he’s trying to get his ex back and he’s not following what 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back and so he’s not following what I teach. And so he’s still pursuing this woman that dumped him.

They work together. I guess they both work for his family construction business. And so the problem is he keeps taking her on dates, trying to kiss her, advance things physically. She keeps saying no, she keeps saying platonic friends only, and he keeps pursuing her. And so this is the opposite of what I teach in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. But I am glad that he sent this his email in, because you could see here’s somebody that’s doing the opposite of what I teach, and he’s not getting anywhere. You got to remember, the strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. And if a woman dumps you, she fucked it up.

So if she fucked it up, she must fix it. She must earn another chance with you, not the other way around. And this guy’s trying to earn another chance with her. So, in other words, she friend zoned him, said, “I don’t desire you. I don’t respect you.” And he stuck around and he’s continuing to try to change her mind. So it’s his idea to try to stay together when she’s already dumped him. Because no self-respecting, self-loving man is going to stick around and try to change anybody’s mind.

If she doesn’t think he’s the most amazing man and she doesn’t think that he’s worth her time. Then he’s going to walk away and go find somebody who does. He’s not going to try to change anybody’s mind. He’s not going to seek a woman’s attention and validation. But unfortunately, this emailer is. And this is why he’s just spinning his wheels and getting nowhere. Right, Lyla. So let’s go through his email.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

I recently started following your work and have listened to How to Be a 3% Man three times. I usually play it while working construction or at the gym. I need your help and advice on how to handle this situation with my girlfriend.

Well, again, like I said in the beginning, it’s better to sit down and concentrate on this stuff with just the audiobook being spoken while you’re looking at the words instead of doing other things because you’re just distracted. You’re not really focused on the words you’re not focused on. So you’re going to have to listen to it 2 or 3 times more to get the same effectiveness as listening to the audiobook while watching the words being spoken on paper, digitally or physically.

I was with her for about a year. We both have kids; she has a son, and I have a daughter and a son, and we all became close. We both came from relationships where our partners cheated on us, although in her case it also became physical, which made it harder for her to trust again. After we went through a miscarriage together, she started pulling away emotionally, and I reacted by chasing and trying to fix things. That pushed her away and led to our third breakup.

So women don’t dump men that they’re in love with. They dump men that they’ve lost respect and attraction for. And so every time after she dumped him, he kept chasing after her, which basically when he does that, you basically say it’s all your fault that the breakup happened, even though she was the one that ended it and she wasn’t willing to work things out. It takes two to tango. And when your tango partner doesn’t want to dance with you anymore, then go dance with somebody else. She should be earning another chance with you. You should be following what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back.

It’s an Article and Video on my Website. You can just google it and look it up. Because you are doing the exact opposite of it. And back in the day when I was still learning this stuff, I tried all these things. I had many, many decades of fucking things up before I finally got it right. And I’ve been teaching this stuff for 20 years, and I’ve seen it work tens of thousands of times all over the world and every cultural, religious and spiritual background. And so following what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back is going to give you the best possible chance that a woman comes back.

But if you keep chasing somebody that doesn’t want you, in other words, you never try to keep somebody that doesn’t want to keep you. And that’s a big part of where he’s going wrong. He’s literally chasing her and chasing her into the arms of the next boyfriend. And so she knows she can have him back. And so that’s why he’s getting nowhere.

After the breakup, she mentioned that during our relationship the third time, there was an incident on Mother’s Day that keeps replaying in her head. That night I got drunk and was acting out of character, not like myself. She told me that ever since then, she hasn’t been able to see things the same way and that it’s one of the reasons she doesn’t think we can make it work or get back together right now.

So she’s giving you this example of you getting drunk and acting out of character. But that is just one instance. In other words, she’s not able to trust your masculine core. You’re not consistently in your masculine. You tend to vacillate back and forth between being in your masculine and acting like a girl. That’s the bottom line. That’s the real issue here. It’s not this one incident. The reason she keeps bringing this incident up is because of how it made her feel, which the big takeaway, is you weren’t acting like a man. It was out of character, as she says. In other words, I used to be able to depend on you and how you were going to show up.

And then this happened, and you’re not showing up in a masculine way that I expect you keep showing up in this other way, which is unattractive and drives her away. So that’s the real takeaway from that. It’s not the Mother’s Day incident is the big problem. It’s your lack of masculinity and your lack of consistency, your vacillating back and forth between acting like a man would act and acting like a woman. The fact that you’re chasing her after you got dumped and seeking her attention and validation, you’re acting like a woman. That’s why you’re not getting anywhere. It doesn’t work.

I tried it many decades ago, for many years, with many different women. Never worked once. Once I got smart and started applying what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back.  I mean, I’ve been teaching it for 20 fucking years. It’s the best thing that works. It’s going to give you the best possible chance not only to get her back, but have her come back and be submissive and playful and treat you right.

After that, I gave her space and focused on myself. Eventually she reached out again, partly because we work together for my family’s construction company, but also to talk.

Okay, so what happened was you went No Contact, which was the right thing to do. You weren’t trying to change your mind anymore. You stopped moving forward. That’s why she reached out to you. Because her interest crept up on her a little bit. The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. When a woman’s like, get the fuck out. You’re like, see you. Hit me up if you change your mind. And then you ride off into the sunset. You’re never going to look back. Women have to know that if they push you too far, you will walk and never look back. And that’s why the problem is, if you walk away and then you turn around and go running back to her, you didn’t really mean it.

In other words, you weren’t man enough to stick to your guns and stick to your principles, which is acting like a beta male, which is her real issue with you. You’re not acting like a man consistently. That’s the real problem. It wasn’t because you got drunk and were out of character one time. You’re out of character a lot of times in the relationship. That’s why she uses it as an example, because it’s such a powerful one of how it made her feel. In other words, she can’t rely on you and she can’t trust your masculine core, because she don’t know which version of you is going to show up.

We started flirting again, and I asked her out. She said yes, and we had fun laughing, kissing, and becoming sexually intimate again.

Well, she should have come over to your place to make dinner in the evening, like 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back says. But if you just start going out and picking her up and taking her on dates again, then you just communicate that you’re okay with the way she treated you, and then therefore she’ll just do it again.

For a while it felt like we were rebuilding. She later told me she still has love for me but isn’t in a place to give to a relationship right now.

Okay, so you know what this tells me. Despite what he’s saying, what I look at is what she’s saying and feeling. Because that’s the only thing that really matters. I can tell what he’s doing just by how she reacts. So when she says, “she isn’t in a place to give a relationship right now”, what that means, he’s pressuring her to get back together. He’s pursuing her. It’s his idea to get back together and not hers. So he’s trying to convince her to take him back. Which again, she dumped him. She fucked it up. So now he’s taking responsibility for the fact that she dumped him when she should be the one apologizing for dumping him. It’s like, you know, the average guy, whenever they do something wrong, they just say sorry, and here’s some flowers. They don’t really try to understand why she feels the way she feels or why she acts the way she acts.

She later told me she still has love for me but isn’t in a place to give to a relationship right now because she’s focused on her son, work, her parents’ situation at home, and issues with her ex over custody.

Again. That statement right there tells me he’s chasing her. He’s seeking her approval and validation. In other words, he’s still acting like a woman, which again, is out of character, as she put it. That’s why she’ll continually throw that in his face about the time he got drunk. And then a guy will think, well, that was just one instance. Well, the reason again, she’ll continue to use that example in that story over and over is she’s saying, you’re making me feel the same way you did when you did that. That’s the important takeaway. And that’s the issue. His vacillation back and forth between being a man and acting like a chick.

I told her that was fine, that we didn’t need to rush anything and could just take our time and enjoy each other’s company. Lately though, she’s been pushing the “friends” narrative harder. I told her straight up that I’m going to keep having fun with her but I’ll be anything but a friend. She knows I want something more.

Again, his whole focus is, “How can I get another chance with her? How can I win her back? How can I convince her to give me another shot?” That’s not what 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back lays out.

The more she’s repeated the “friends” idea, the more everything has faded, first the sexual intimacy, then the affection.

That’s because you kept pursuing her. You want sex and romance and she’s saying, hey, how about blue balls and friendship? And you’re going, I don’t really want that. But then you keep pursuing her. So the fact that you keep pursuing a woman who friend zoned you shows through your actions that you’ve acquiesced to her demands. Which again, is more out of character, more acting like a beta male, more acting like a girl than a man.

She used to be fine with playful physical affection, but now when I do it she tells me to stop in a joking way, smiling sometimes, and lightly punches me on the shoulder while telling me to stop.

Again you’re trying to advance things physically when she’s not open to it. This is what happens. You’ve been through the book three times, but it’s just not really sinking in because you’re listening to the book is background noise. You’re not being a very good student, dude. You’re in the middle of trying to save a relationship, and yet you’re half-assing what I teach to do. That’s why you’re just spinning your wheels. You got to learn this stuff. You’ve got to correct your unattractive behavior. And so far, you’re not. And I can tell just by looking at what she’s doing and how she’s showing up.

It seems playful, but at the same time it feels like she might actually mean it. When I go in for a kiss, she turns her face away, and the only kisses I get now are quick pecks on dates.

Again. Why are you taking her out on dates? This is not what I teach. You should be following what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. And so what that would mean is you don’t call. You don’t reach out for any reason. If she reaches out to you, invite her over to make dinner in the evening, hang out, have fun, hook up. If the last time you saw her. She’s adamant about friends only, she doesn’t touch you. She says she doesn’t want to get back together. Then in that case, I wouldn’t even ask her out when she reaches out.

I would wait until she brings up getting together, and then I would invite her over to make dinner in the evening. And then you can hang out, have fun, and hook up. Because the problem is, this is all your idea. It’s not her idea. That’s why you’re getting nowhere. She’s not having to earn another chance with you. She already knows you want her back. And so you’re not a challenge. And you’re not acting like a man that she has to get or to work for. So you can just be her backup plan while she looks for other guys to date and sleep with.

She still texts me every day, but her replies are slower and sometimes stop for the rest of the day. I’ve noticed myself starting to chase again when she becomes distant.

Again, as 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back says she should be doing 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing and reaching out. And you’re not listening to that either. So it is so predictable that you’re getting nowhere. And what you’re doing is you’re driving her away. Her interest is continuing to go down. You’re making it really easy for her to move on and meet somebody else. That’s why you need to completely stop forward movement towards her. Even if she reaches out to you, take longer to respond to her. Don’t even bring up getting together unless she brings it up next. That’s what I would do in this case, because if you look at her behavior, it’s like she’s reaching out for attention and validation. You validate that you’re still interested, and then she blows you off, probably because she’s talking to other guys, and she just wants to make sure that you’re still in backup plan.

What I want to know is should I keep going the way I am?

Abso-fucking-lutely not, Dude. You’re doing the exact opposite of what I teach. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll continue getting what you’ve always got. You’re doing the opposite of what I teach. And you’re doing what I know doesn’t work. And it’s been confirmed thousands and thousands of times over the last two decades I’ve been teaching this. If you think you’re going to reinvent the wheel, then just keep beating your head against the wall and keep doing what you’re doing.

What I want to know is should I keep going the way I am to see if things turn around.

They won’t if you keep doing it. Eventually what will happen is she’ll start dating and fucking somebody else, and then she’ll disappear. And then you’ll really be heartbroken.

Or stop contacting her completely?

Yes.

And give her space?

Yes.

She’ll likely reach out but then start assuming I’m upset.

Well, at the end of the day, if I were you, be nice. Be polite to her. Send 2 or 3 texts back and forth and just say, “hey, I gotta run. I’ll talk to you later.” If she calls, you talk for 2 or 3 minutes. “Hey, it’s nice hearing your voice. I gotta run, I’ll talk to you later.” And until she brings up getting together, don’t ever bring it up again. And I would start meeting and dating other women.

Thanks for your time, Corey. I’d really appreciate your advice on how to handle this the right way.

Bob

Well, again, the Article and Video 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back lays it out perfectly. You’re literally doing the opposite. But I am glad, like I said in the beginning, that you wrote this email because again, people can see how doing the opposite of what it teaches doesn’t work. So again, if you’re going to do the opposite of what I teach, you shouldn’t be surprised that you’re spinning your wheels getting blue balls. And again, you’re making it easy for her to move on and meet somebody else. That’s why she’s distant. That’s why she’s taking longer to text you and reply to you. And she should be doing all the pursuing. She should be the one trying to earn another chance with you, not the other way around.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.