Will She Come Back If I Continue No Contact?

How to determine if she will be back if you continue no contact.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been following my work for about 4 years and read 3% Man, a handful of times. He met a girl at work last summer when he had a girlfriend. A few months ago after his relationship ended they started dating and hooking up. After about 2 months she broke things off with some reasons that didn’t make sense and wanted to remain friends. It seems she got back together with her ex. He wonders if she will come back if he continues no contact. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “Will She Come Back If I Continue No Contact?”

Well, let’s take a closer look. So this particular email, this guy, he’s been following my work for about four years, says he’s read 3% Man a handful of times. So you know what that means. He’s not really been a good student. You’ve been following me for four years, and you read it a handful of times. That tells me, maybe, once or twice, maybe three times, that is just not going to cut it dude. You got to take this stuff seriously. I was talking to a guy a few weeks ago.

He was following me for three weeks, and he already went through The Book seven times. If you put the audiobook on 2X and you follow along in a digital or physical copy with no background noise, not driving in your car, not listening to The Book while you’re working out at the gym and intermittently talking to other people. I’m talking where you sit down and it’s just you and the audiobook on 2X and a physical copy where you can look at the words as they’re being spoken or a digital copy.

That is the best, most effective way to really concentrate on the information and get it into your brain as quick as possible. And if you do that, you can get through The Book in about four hours. And so it is absolutely absurd to be following me for four years. And you only got through The Book a handful of times because you’re going to be making completely unnecessary mistakes that you shouldn’t be. I say it all the time, don’t cherry pick the videos. You’ll get some attainable success, but you will not be able to sustain it.

And again, this is exactly what happened to this guy doesn’t know The Book and I say this all the time, but it’s like people don’t listen. They don’t take me seriously. Especially you super high IQ, smart guys, and you really wealthy guys that are worth hundreds of millions of dollars. It’s like, “Oh, I’m too smart, I’m too rich. I don’t need to do that.” And then yet you end up on a phone call with me crying like a little girl because you’re getting jerked around by a woman you’re Goo Goo Gaga over. It’s like, I want you guys to have a good experience, this way you avoid pain.

But some people are. I mean, we always have a good laugh about it when I’m breaking their balls, and that’s one of the reasons why they want to do a phone session with me, is because they know I’m going to give them the unvarnished truth and tell them like it really is, because that’s what a man needs. He needs radical honesty and radical humility in order to make the changes he needs to make in order to reach his full potential and get the girls he really wants to get.

So back to our email here. So this guy, he meets a girl at work last summer, but he had a girlfriend, so he was unavailable. So he’s a challenge and he’s mysterious and he’s hard to get. He’s not easy. So that’s going to make any woman that’s already attracted to you even more interested in you. A few months ago, his relationship ended and they started dating and hooking up. But then after about two months, she broke things off for some reasons that didn’t really make sense to him and wanted to remain friends.

And now he’s like, it seems like she got back together with her ex, and now he’s in No Contact and he’s wondering if she’s going to come back. And so this is one of those situations that’s addressed in The Book, because this is quite common because women do the breaking up about 75% of the time. And usually the guy getting dumped didn’t see it coming, doesn’t like it. And if she starts getting involved with you and your game is kind of sloppy and it’s not tight like this, guys is not, because again, he’s been following me for four years.

He barely got through The Book a handful of times, and so he just doesn’t know what he’s doing. He still doesn’t know what he’s doing because he’s been lazy and trying to cherry pick from just the videos. And so there’s some holes in his game. He’s got a knowledge gap still. And so he’s still doing and saying things that make him look unattractive. And so when you get involved with a woman that just had a breakup, especially if it was a multiyear relationship where you can expect is a lot of hot and cold behavior, and you absolutely have to let the woman do most, if not all, of the calling, texting and pursuing because the ex is probably in the background.

And you got to understand, because she spent so much time with this guy, she’s emotionally bonded and invested in him. And so as she spends more time with you and doesn’t really hear from the ex very much, and then you start screwing up and then she starts hearing from the ex and again, because she’s emotionally bonded to him, she’s going to test you. She’s going to test him. And if you start over pursuing, like most guys do, that don’t know The Book, you’ll literally chase her right back into the arms of the ex-boyfriend because he’s acting more masculine than you are, and he has all the leverage because of the years that they had together.

So you’re just in a lose lose situation there. And that’s why when you’re in this situation, you have to let women do most, if not all of the calling, texting and pursuing. This way they come to you at their pace. And when the other guy starts trying to come back in the picture, she tests him, she tests you. But because you’re indifferent and you’re moving so slow, slower than she is, the other guy is going to flail around and he will chase her into your arms, which obviously is what you want. So let’s go through his email.

Because again, this is one of those situations that pretty much every guy watching this, if you’re going to date and you date enough, you’re going to come across this. And life is messy. Relationships are messy. It’d be nice in a perfect world that every single great love of our life came along, and she’d been single for six months or a year or two.

And you can start off without some dude in the background trying to get back together with her, but at least in half the cases that’s just not the way it’s going to be, especially if the girl is really attractive. She has a lot of choices and a lot of options. So you got to have really good, tight game if you want to attract this girl and keep her attracted and get her to the point where she falls head over heels in love with you and no longer wants to be with the ex, and then she becomes emotionally bonded to you.

Viewer Email:

Hello Coach,

I have been a subscriber of your work for 4-5 years at this point and have listened to your audiobook a handful of times at this point. I was dating this girl that works at the same company as me, we’re within the same organization but do not directly work together but we share similar coworkers, etc. I first met her last summer when she was an intern.

Ha. Ha. Hooking up with the hot intern. Naughty boy.

At that time, I was in another relationship when we first met, and that relationship came to an end at the end of last summer around when her internship was about to end, and she was returning to grad school for a year out of state.

So she was a hot intern for a period of time during the summer. She goes back to finish school.

We hit it off right before she left, and she followed me on Instagram, and I started talking to her more but at this point it was too late for me. She went back to Tennessee for the year and sure enough she got into another relationship.

Well, nothing you can really do because you weren’t really available. And she’s not physically in town. And although Planes, Trains and Automobiles can be fun if you’re younger, especially as you get older, that gets kind of annoying. It’s much nicer to date somebody. It’s only ten 15 minutes away. Makes it nice for nooners or late night booty calls.

It’s like you just can’t do that when a girl is a plane ride or a state or a country or a continent away from you. Even though it can be fun, it’s great to have a hot tour guide in a country you’ve never been to, and I think every guy should enjoy that and explore it. But again, it becomes a drag because if you’re going to date long distance, eventually, that means if you’re going to stay together, you got to get married because the immigration issues. But then again, I mean, the United States, you just walk across the border illegally.

Joe and Kamala will fly you wherever you want in the country. They’ll put you up. Free room and board. They give you a job. They’ll give you cash. They’ll give you food stamps. I mean, you’ll be living large. High on the hog. Meanwhile, we have a hurricane come along, and it’s like they don’t give a fuck about the Americans. They only care about the new voters that are going to vote for them and give them a permanent majority. Isn’t that great? Anyways, Trump 2024.

Fast forward to this summer, that relationship of hers ended and I found out she was returning soon and will be working full time with the same team.

Oh!

I immediately took action reached out and I invited her out to Baseball game with the rest of our team from work since she initially declined a one on one date, but I got the opportunity to take her to the game and grab dinner with just us two beforehand and again immediately hit it off and we both had very similar lifestyles.

So what’s interesting that tells me she wanted to do the group date, but didn’t do want to do one on one yet, probably because some dude is in the background. Or he just didn’t have enough rapport with her, and maybe her interest wasn’t as high as he thought it was. Because then he again, what does he say? “We hit it off.” If you really hit it off and she’s not that excited about getting together with you one on one, well, you’re way more into her than she’s into you. That’s just the bottom line.

Because if she felt the same way, she’s gonna be like, “Absolutely, let’s go to the game together.” But when he’s like, “Hey, let’s do it in a group.” After she said “no”, to just him and her one on one, then she says “yes.” So that tells me right off the bat his interest is way higher in her than hers is in him. And women like you more if it’s the other way around. That’s just a fact of life. I didn’t make him that way. If you don’t like it, talk to the big man upstairs.

Fast forward we started to go on dates shortly after and talk more and more and hook up. Six to eight dates and about two months of dating she started to get more short out of nowhere.

Probably because your game was sloppy.

She went on a girls trip to Yosemite. And that weekend she came back I never heard back on how her trip went and she never sent me any pictures like she said she would.

So dating is like tennis. If a woman tells you she’s going to do that and then doesn’t just let her be. You got to have the balls to hold out. But when you haven’t read The Book enough and you’re getting dopey over a girl, you hold out for a few days and then you’ll go right back to pursuing again. And then ignore the fact that you’re way more into her than she is into you.

Throughout all the time we did date I never brought up anything about being exclusive.

Again, it didn’t matter. She had the leverage and you didn’t. You gave away all your power because you were drooling over her too much and your game was sloppy. How do I know? I just look at her actions.

I did feel like I might’ve overshared but just because I felt like I could be honest.

Again, this is covered in The Book. If it’s not going to make you look more attractive and masculine and mysterious, shut your fucking mouth. Don’t say anything. Keep it to yourself. But he decided to make her, his therapist and his mommy and talk about all his dark sides. Because again, he only read The Book a handful of times in four years. So his game is sloppy. So he knows he overshared.

I felt like I could be honest since things were going well, but I admit that is where I messed up. She mentioned to me that she had gotten out of a relationship just two and a half months before we started talking and her boyfriend continued to send her flowers and Uber eats since he was blocked on everything and was already threatened to stop showing up to her place unannounced.

I later on asked her, “did you survive El Cap?”

I assume that’s a mountain or a hiking trail or something.

And all she replied with was, “Yes indeed”.

So her text replies are short. Because again, his game is sloppy and then he’s talking about things about himself oversharing as he says that things that made him look less attractive and desirable. So again, this is in The Book. But if you follow me for four years and only read it a handful of times, you’re just a shitty student. I’m sorry. That’s the truth. I say it all the time. I got to break your balls because, masculine energy grows through challenge.

You need to be better. How does the rejection feel? Would you rather feel the pain of rejection or me breaking your balls on YouTube that causes you to make your game much tighter so you get the girl and you don’t experience the pain? That’s the reason why I do it. There’s a method to my madness here. You got to cut out the unattractive behavior.

Which was very concerning and later on I told we should catch up this weekend so I could hear more about her trip. And she said, “I’m busy this weekend maybe another time” and later on said “I’ll try to call you tonight”.

So when a woman says, “Maybe another time”, that’s not a good sign. “Maybe another time” is like, “how about never. No thank you.”

So then I already knew it was not good news, and I decided to just ignore it as best I could and so I left to my own vacation for the day to LA and she tried to call me but I was on a flight and then she tried to call again but I had dinner plans and so I tried to treat it as I really didn’t care and since she didn’t try to initiate plans to talk in person I made it less of a priority to talk to her and became less available to her now.

So he was matching and mirroring her low interest and effort.

So she resorted to text message and said, “I was trying to be better than to send this as a text, but I don’t wanna continue the phone tag, sorry. I wanted to have a conversation with you about the dynamic between you and me.”

The longer the excuse, the bigger the lie. Just remember that, this is long.

“At this time, I do not want to continue to go on dates. I really hope that does not affect you and me as friends, but I understand if it does. You maybe want to know why. I personally just feel like this isn’t right for me at this time.”

In other words, you turn me off and you dried my pussy up drier than the Sahara desert. You turned it into old smoky, it’s really dry in there.

“I find myself still feeling very reserved around you. And I think I notice the same thing back towards me, but I hadn’t figured that one out. And I definitely feel like we’ve spent enough time together to have lost that feeling.”

You’ve lost that lovin feeling. Whoa. That loving feeling. That’s what happens. Her interest was going up and then it went wham! And he didn’t notice until it was too late. Additionally. Oh, I’m sorry. She still continuing. Remember, the longer the excuse, the bigger the lie.

“Additionally, I am getting very overwhelmed with just having moved here and so many life changes. Being honest with myself, I don’t want a relationship right now or in the near future. Knowing that, it’s not right for me to continue going on dates because they’re fun and I enjoy your company. I apologize for not figuring that out sooner. I think you’re an amazing person, I look up to you in many ways and really hope we can continue to be close friends. Let me know if you have any questions, or requests, moving forward. Again, I apologize this had to be a text. I hope you have a good night, Bob”.

I then replied with “Hey Jessica, I just barely got home now, but I sort of saw this coming and it’s okay. You’ve got a lot of things going on”.

I would have just said, “Hey, no problem. Well, I am not interested in just being friends after everything we’ve shared. And so down the road, your feelings change and you miss me terribly. I would absolutely love to see you get in touch. But other than that, if I see you at work, we’ll just keep it professional and respectful. I just can’t do the friends only thing that doesn’t work for me. But if you change your mind and you’re interested in romance again I’d love to see you. It’d be wonderful. Take care. Have a great night.” “Take care.” Means “Have a nice life.” And women know what that means. And that’s why you should use that phrase. But he writes a long, drawn out text.

“Hey Jessica, I just barely got home now, but I sort of saw this coming and it’s okay. You’ve got a lot of things going on and you’re still trying to figure out life and balance changes. It probably doesn’t help that we were getting involved.”

This is so bad.

“While you’re still dealing with an ex and trying to get some self-help with therapy.

Again, all this is unnecessary.

I think you’re great and it’s unfortunate for the timing of events but I fully understand and respect your decision and don’t plan to make/change anything at work”.

Lastly she said, “I was up worrying about this, hence my “late night”.

Response – “Your respectful reply took a huge weight off my chest, I appreciate your understanding more than you know. I hope I was able to properly communicate how highly I think of you.

Oh my God, this girl is like, man, I should have worn my boots this morning. The bullshit is so thick.

This was majorly a situational / timing issue on my end. I wouldn’t take back any of the time we spent together & I hope this didn’t diminish any chances of continuing to get to know each other and remain friends. I still hope to eventually hear about your spontaneous weekend in LA”.

It has now been a little over a month now and I haven’t really heard from her.

Yeah, that’s why I’m sitting here doing this as I’m reading that. Because again, the longer the excuse, the bigger the lie. If we bottom line our actions, what’s going on? She lost interest and respect and attraction. Probably went back to the ex or whatever. It doesn’t matter, she said, “Oh, let’s be friends.” She didn’t do any of that. He hasn’t heard from her in a month.

It has now been a little over a month now and I haven’t really heard from her. That first week she messaged me at work asking if I was going to a meeting and I was just very short with her. She also mentioned to me saying her childhood dog had passed away and so I told her if she wanted to talk, I was there for her but left it at that. I just also noticed on Instagram she started to follow her ex-boyfriend again and so I’m sure she was still fixated on him this whole time. And I decided it was best for me to unfollow her and remove her as a follower but not full on blocking her.

I would have muted it. I wouldn’t have done anything but you do, you boo boo.

Now it’s been radio silent between us and will occasionally see her around but no eye contact or anything has been made even at the least from her, not sure where to go with this or just keep on walking and never look back, any thoughts coach? Will she be back if I continue No Contact?

Well, the only chance of her coming back is if the relationship goes sideways with the ex. And if you see her at work and you make eye contact, smile, wave, and then just go about your business. Don’t walk over to her. Don’t go out of your way to talk to her. How would you treat her if you were tired of fucking her? You’d be nice. You’d be respectful. You’d say hello, but quickly but calmly. You’d be like, “Hey, I gotta run. I’m late for a meeting. It was nice seeing you. Hey, you look great.” Whatever.

And then just move on. Go about your day. Don’t ever think about it. And then if she ever does come back, you’re following exactly what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. She’s got to come to your house three dates in a row. If you hang out and have fun and hook up all three dates, then you can meet her out and pick her up. But you gotta let her do all the calling, texting, pursuing, and most importantly, you got to spend the time reading The Book, dude, and filling your knowledge gap because your game sucks.

As you said, you overshared and that is in The Book. It tells you not to do things like that, but you didn’t listen because again, you didn’t really take the time to learn The Book. So that’s on you. How does the pain of rejection feel? It fucking sucks. And I put all this stuff in The Book. I do these videos trying to help you guys, but I know how people are. Human beings are lazy, so most people want the quick fix. They want to turn things on and off like a light switch. And it just does not work like that with the ladies.

So put the time in with The Book. Talk to the other cute girls in the office. Don’t pay any attention to this girl. Meet and date other women and apply what’s in The Book as you continue, because you got to be reading it and applying it, reading it and applying it, reading it and applying it. That’s the way you get better. And you got to put the time into The Book. You got to read it the 10 to 15 times. And the fact that you can put the audiobook on 2X while you follow along in a digital or physical copy.

There’s absolutely no reason to fill in your knowledge gap and get through the reads that you need to get through. Unless, of course, you like the pain of rejection. Unless, of course, you like feeling the way you like feeling right now. I know I didn’t like it, and that’s what made me change my ways and eventually figure things out. But, that’s the beauty of life. Pain is life’s change agent. It’s the way of teaching you that what you’re doing, your approach is suboptimal and you need to make some changes.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.