Will There Be A 2nd Date? She Takes Days To Reply!

What it means when a woman takes days to reply to messages.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who ran into a former coworker he always thought was cute, but she was in a relationship. Now she’s single and they finally had one date after she canceled, but rescheduled. It took her 6 days to reply for the reschedule and it’s now been 2 days since his last text trying to setup the 2^nd date with no reply. He wonders if they will ever have a 2^nd date.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “Will There Be A 2nd Date? She Takes Days To Reply!”.

Well, typically when a woman is behaving the way this one is with this particular guy, it usually means they have low interest. Or there’s another dude they’re in the process of breaking up with. So you might get hot and cold behavior. That’s why it’s just better to not burn a bridge and to take the girls through the process that is outlined in the book, because some of these will eventually convert and come to you at their pace and then really fall for you if you’re applying what’s in the book.

So you’ll just get more women with this, with this kind of an attitude that you don’t burn a bridge and you just see what happens. Because either way, it’s going to be interesting. So this particular email, this guy ran into a coworker or former coworker. She works for the same company, but I guess she works in a different branch of it. And so there was a company event and he saw her at it.

He hadn’t seen her in a few years, and he always thought she was cute. But, you know, back when they used to work in the same office, she had a boyfriend. And so now she’s single. And so they made a date. But then she cancelled the date but offered to reschedule. And then when he was in the process of trying to nail down her schedule, she just stopped replying for six days. Then she got back in touch. They set the date up and had a pretty decent date.

And now like four days have gone by and she was like, oh, call me. I want to like, you know, basically imply that she’d like to see him again or that she had a really good time. So he texted her and when he asked for her availability, poof. Nothing. So it’s been two days. No reply. And you’ve got to remember, dating is like tennis, especially if you’re meeting girls online. You should expect to see this kind of behavior just because she’s talking to a lot of dudes.

She’s tweaking everybody’s balls to see who gets upset and who’s unperturbed, who’s not bothered, who’s mysterious and unpredictable. That’s the guy she’s going to want to go out with. So just remember that if you text a girl, call a girl. Normally if they don’t reply within 24 hours, it means they’re not interested. But in some cases, you’re going to get women that are purposely waiting several days or they’re still talking to an ex, so they’re not really sure.

They don’t want to completely close the door on something potential with you, but they also don’t really have the green light to move on. And so those things are going to happen. And that’s why it’s just more effective. Say, hey, you know, hit me up if it doesn’t work out.

Viewer Email:

Greetings Coach,

Hope all is well. I wanted to get your thoughts on a situation that happened recently.
 So about a month ago I went to a work social event that involved multiple departments in our company and I had a reunion with an old coworker that I had not seen or talked to in about 3 years. I had always thought she was cute and we had great banter and chemistry back when we worked together but I did not make a move because at that time she was in a relationship at that time.

When I arrived at the event I saw her and smiled and went and sat down with other coworkers that I knew and talked to them for the majority of the time. Eventually she greeted me and I greeted her back warmly. We talked for at least half an hour, and she brought up one time we hung out and mentioned we need to do that again.

So here she is. Hey, we should get together again. That’s a good sign. She’s bringing it up.

Then proceeded to put her number in my phone.

So that usually is indicative of high interest. Women that aren’t interested are not going to do this. This is why I think there’s probably some other dude in the background.

She then gave me her availability and hugged me a couple of times before leaving.

Maybe she’s just really affectionate. Maybe she had a couple of cocktails so she’s a little more touchy feely when she has cocktails, but those are all signs of high interest there.

I texted her the next week and made a definite date on one of the days she said she was available. She agreed and was very flexible, even when I told her that the plans for the date would be a surprise she responded with “I don’t like surprises but I will swallow my pride” This has never happened to me before. I was textbook and used the phone to only set the date. But, about three days before our date.

So at least she’s not waiting until like the day of or an hour before.

She sent me the famous “Don’t hate me” text.

Don’t hate me, but I think every guy watches has probably got a don’t hate me text when they get a cancellation.

And asked to reschedule. I replied, “No problem, when are you available”. From here I did not get a reply from her for 8 days.

I was thinking it was six days. It was eight days actually. So again now I was like, that’s got to be another dude. So in other words, Chad Thunder Cock is back in the picture. That’s probably the real reason. The primary guy she was really interested in showed back up and now it has promise. So she didn’t blow him off completely. She just needed some time to figure out what was going on.

She replied, “I suck. I’m available any time this weekend” on Memorial Day weekend, when I was out of town. I responded to her “Yeah, you do, because I’m out of town until next week. But you can make it up to me next weekend.”

So she says she sucks. The beta would go, oh no, it’s fine, no big deal. And he’s like, yeah, you do suck. Which is the right kind of response, breaking her balls. Because that’s I mean, it’s honest. It’s like eight days. So she knows she shouldn’t have done it, but she did it anyways. She knows it’s rude. And you were agreeing with her. Yeah, that’s pretty rude. In other words, meaning you suck.

She then agreed and we made a date for a definite day and definite time. She kept the date this time and even texted me to confirm that we were still on the night before. I met her out to eat first and we caught up and I got to know her, and kept her talking most of the time. We had a lot in common. From there, I took her to an arcade and we had a good time. We even played pool and I showed her how to hold the pool stick properly.

This is one of the reasons why the last place you go is where you can do something physical together, especially pool or throwing darts. Because quite frankly, a lot of girls don’t know how to throw darts and they can’t hold the pool stick properly. And so it really makes it a nice way. You can break the touch barrier, and it just seems like a natural thing.

And if she really likes it and she tends to linger and touch you a little longer than she should, and you could be doing “The Kiss Test”, well again, that’s supposed to facilitate physical interaction. So kissing poo can happen. Heavy petting. And then, hey, let’s get out of here and go back to my place and open a bottle of wine.

At the end of the night, I was dropping her back off at her car and when I was saying bye she went in for a hug. I hugged her and then went in for the kiss, she seemed surprised at first but she kissed me back and we made out a little bit.

Nice.

She ended the kiss and said, “that’s enough of that.”

And you could say, well yeah, I can’t have you getting too excited. Can’t have you falling in love with me just yet.

As she was leaving she said, “We will hang out again soon.” to which I replied, probably stupidly, “We will see” and she seemed taken aback by that response. I backpedaled and told her I would be busy the next week but I will text her. When I got home that night, she texted me a little later saying “I actually had a lot of fun tonight, Thank you. Have a good night.”

Well, that’s a good sign. But again, it just there’s probably another dude because if the dude comes back in the picture, it’s him and you. She spends a few days seeing what’s going to happen with him before she gives you the green light for another date.

I responded to her saying “Glad you made it home safe. I had a great time. Goodnight” and she hearted my message. I waited about four days and texted her “Hey you, I’d love to see you again. What’s your schedule like?” It has been over 48 hours since I sent this and it has been complete radio silence.

What a shock. Hey. She’s consistent.

So I would like to know your thoughts on this Coach. Did I mess everything up with that “We’ll see” comment I made?

No.

How should I react if she does text me back later, because waiting this long to reply seems just rude at this point.

Well, it is, but I would suspect there’s another guy in the picture. That’s why you just can’t get pissed off. Because if it’s an ex she just broke up with and she’s back and forth, what’s going to happen is as she pulls away from you and you do nothing, you’re indifferent to it like this guy is doing. She’s going to pull away from the other guy too, and test him. And more than likely, he’s going to flail around and fuck up and do something beta, which is going to turn her off and dry her up. And guess what?

Then that’s when she reaches back out to you. Last time it was eight days, so you could also end up, you know, hey, sorry I hadn’t got back to you. You know, there’s this guy I was seeing, and I’m going to kind of give it another chance. And so, you know, I really like you, but it wouldn’t be fair to him or you. It was like, hey, no problem. Things happen. You’ve got my number. If it doesn’t work out, hit me up. I’d love to see you again. And you just leave it at that. And you never know. It’s a good chance she’ll be back.

Am I just being impatient?

Well, her interest is low, but like I said, I wouldn’t say her interest is low. I’d say there’s probably another guy, because that’s the behavior. Because she’s giving you signs that she’s really interested. She’s definitely dangling the carrot because she knows how to do that and keep you on the hook. But for whatever reason, she’s not completely free and available. That’s why she hasn’t texted back. Because again, if you had totally screwed it up royally, she would have just ghosted you. And she didn’t do that.

I have read the book over 10 times but I am overdue for my six month reading. I know that dating is like tennis and I need to wait for her to hit the ball back. If I did do something wrong, what can I do in the future to prevent this from happening again. Thank you for helping guys like me understand the way women operate.

Well you’re welcome. And all I have to say is I mean, quite frankly, dude, you’ve done a pretty good job of responding to her. So it is disconcerting when that happens. But, you know, in the past, when you don’t know any better, what do you usually do? You didn’t hear from her for a day or two. Hey, did you get my message? Hey. Are we on? Hey. And then you just, you get ghosted, or you end up chasing her away. But when you do this, when you do nothing, you just wait for her to get back. And then when she does get back, you’re like, hey, you, you’re just cool.

You’re indifferent. You’re not bothered. You’re not upset. You don’t take it personally. You’re a mature man. You know that more than likely she’s a average hot girl. Got hot girl summer going on. You’re not the only guy probably. So you being totally, infinitely patient actually works in your favor because she can test the shit out of all the other dudes. And when you’re like this, they flail around. Every time she interacts with them, they turn her off more. She starts to interact with you. You’re continuing to turn her on.

And then at some point, the power flips. She becomes more into you than she was into the other guys because they’re flailing. And then she’ll come on to you even harder, which is fun when it when it happens that way, especially in, you know, a month or two down the line. It’s exciting, especially when you find out the truth that there was another guy and she blew him off to be with you. And you’re like, because you acted more alpha. So either way, the most important thing is that you gotta act attractive the way the book talks.

And this guy’s doing a good job, dude. So pat yourself on the back for maintaining your composure and just understand that this just goes with the territory. Some women are going to be like this even though you knew her and you. It’s not like some random chick online that you barely know you worked with her for, you know, a long time, it seems like. So you’re not some total stranger. But again, if I’m a betting man, there’s got to be another guy in the picture. That’s the only thing that would explain the behavior. Because if she really didn’t care, she would have dipped.

But the fact that she’s saying these things and she’s staying in contact, you know, taking your phone and putting her number in. That’s a clear, definitive sign that she’s definitely interested. But for whatever reason, something’s going on in her life where she can’t just be. In other words, she’s not 100% single and ready to mingle. And this is why having some other girls can really help you get over these rough spots, especially when you really like the girl, you know, because you’re like that man, that hot girl. I finally got my chance. It’s nice when those things happen, so. But you’ve got to be patient. As the late, great Doc Love would have phrased it, “you’ve got to outwait and outwit women.”

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.