In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who has read my book five times so far. He shares a recent success story of how he has changed the way he interacts with women when he is hanging out at a bar with friends to cause women to approach and pick him up. This past weekend he used what he learned in my article titled, “How To Get Women To Approach You First.” A woman approached his and his friend’s table as they were having a good time and he was being the leader.
He shares what he did and said that caused her to continually come back to him over the course of the evening. He watched as other guys approached her and tried unsuccessfully to pick her up. She often would look at him with a look that communicated the guys were clueless and as if she needed to be saved from them. Eventually, he suggested that she should kiss him and she did. Then she was all over him. It’s another great success story of how men can get women to approach them first and do all of the work, so they don’t have to risk any rejection. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
Thank you for all you do. You shed light on some of the most foreign concepts to men and help us solve the perplexing mysteries of attracting women and developing fulfilling relationships. I’ve read your book 5 times thus far, and it’s undoubtedly having a positive effect on me. (The guys that read the book over and over get the best results.) Like you mention in your book, I believe it’s crucial to move at your own pace and celebrate the little victories along the way when learning these principles. (Life is like a game of golf. You’re really just playing against yourself. What you do or fail to do determines where you end up in the future.) It really is all about the journey rather than the destination. (Try to enjoy as much of our life as you can by focusing on what you have to be grateful for.)
I just wanted to share with you a classic and simple example of how your techniques are almost effortlessly effective. I went out to the bar with some buddies last night; a few of which are always so adamant about hitting on girls at the bars. This mindset truly is counterproductive. (The average guy doesn’t know any better and wants to do laps around the bar trying to talk to as many people as possible, even though nobody really wants him around.) Success with women is a byproduct of a man’s self-confidence and his ability to love life. I haven’t immersed myself in the nightlife scene much this summer, because I’ve been busy with work and other obligations, but I was anxious to apply some of your basic tips when I had the chance last night. Instead of running laps around the bar chasing women around like a thirsty dog, as some of my friends tend to do, I posted up with some buddies at a table and was just hanging out and having a great time. (This is exactly what I teach in the article and video, “How To Get Women To Approach You First.”) I made a special effort to keep the buddies I was with engaged in conversation to avoid any of us just staring around the bar checking out girls, (That’s a scarcity mindset men have when they have no women in their life), which is incredibly common with guys anywhere you go. Just this small gesture led to the ladies in our vicinity becoming curious about us. (That is because you are completely different than the other guys in the bar.) One gorgeous brunette walked by and simply asked where I was from. I started messing with her and just asked, “Why? Are you conducting a census?” She chuckled and asked, “What high school did you attend?” (Attraction’s not a choice. You’re giving off an abundance vibe, and she finds you attractive and safe to approach, so she starts asking you personal questions.) I just came back with, “I didn’t. I succeeded so much in middle school that they just gave me a high school diploma,” just responding to her questions with outrageous and playful humor. (The point is to make her laugh and make her smile. Whatever you make a woman feel when she’s with you, is what she’s going to associate with being with you.) I know I’m a funny dude, but she was laughing at my jokes like I was the second coming of Will Ferrell. (Women help you when they like you.) It was crowded and loud, and our groups of friends were standing near each other. She told me that she was from far away, out of town and was just here visiting a friend from college. Because of that, I didn’t ask for her phone number or anything. I was simply just nonchalant about the exchange. After we went back and forth for a minute or two, I said hey I’m going to get back to my buddies, enjoy your time with your friends. (If your goal is to find someone to date and have a relationship with, you’ll wait and look for someone who lives in your area.) I left her in suspense and wanting more. As the night went on, her and her friends were moving throughout the bar, and I witnessed at least 5 dudes approach this girl, coming on way too strong and whispering in her ear, just the epitome of weak behavior.
Her and her friends were active the entire time walking around, while I was just hanging at my table taking up too much space, keeping a smile on my face, and shooting the shit with my buddies. Every time she’d walk near us, I could tell she was staring me down. Eventually, she was near me and some guy was hitting on her. She was staring at me the whole time with a huge smile and just shaking her head as if to communicate, “I hope this clown hitting on me walks away.” When the guy finally got the hint, the girl walked closer to me and smiled. I smiled back and waved her over to me. She shook her head laughing and waved me over to her. (You’re the king of your kingdom waving her over to your throne.) I held my ground and simply shrugged with a smirk on my face and proceeded to continue hanging with my friends. My buddies and I left our table a few minutes later to go order drinks. While I was at the bar, the girl approached me and asked, “Why didn’t you come over when I waved for you to?” (This is a girl who has guys approaching her all night long, but it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.) She said, “You’re the guy. You’re supposed to approach me,” with a huge smile on her face. I responded with, “I gave you a gentlemanly, cordial invite to join me and put the offer out there. My buddies and I have prime real estate over there. I’m not going to give that up.” She was loving me. We went back and forth for a few minutes, then her friends wanted to leave. Instead of following them out, she stayed back for a couple minutes. (Women vote with their feet. If they’re with you, it means they voted for you. At the end of the day, women do the choosing anyway. It’s the same thing I discuss in my article and video, “How To Create The Ultimate Online Dating Profile.” You put out what you’re looking for, and wait for the women to choose who they want, instead of going through all of that rejection.) She was asking me how old I was and what I did and joked around that eyes are the window to the soul. I then told her “Well, you know what would enhance your vision? Giving me a kiss.” She smiled and leaned in, and I got a good juicy one right on the lips. Her friends had walked out at that point, so she asked me if I’d walk her out. I agreed, and once we left the bar area into the hallway near the exit she was all over me, making out with me and grabbing me. (She’s more forward when you’re isolated.) I told her that we’ll continue this tomorrow night, which is tonight. She then said, “Well you’re going to need my number then.” I opened a new contact in my phone and handed it to her, and she also said she added herself on Snapchat, ha-ha. I texted her my first name, and she gave me one more kiss and left the bar.
My buddies were mesmerized by this feat. (This is the kind of thing every guy can do if you you apply the things that are in my book.) I literally just focused on having a great time, and the opportunity fell right in my lap. The girl had dudes rigorously pursuing her all night, while I was calm, cool and confident, and she could tell I was indifferent about it. She did 90% of the talking in our conversation, and all I did was interject with comical remarks. My experience last night encompassed so many of the tips you emphasize and just goes to show that when you apply yourself to understand the fundamentals, the good results are inevitable. I’m becoming more and more of an advocate of your teachings every day. Thanks again. (Just apply the things I teach and you’ll get great results and find what you’re looking for.)
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Societal conditioning says that it is the man’s job to approach a woman and do all of the work to pick her up at bars and nightclubs. However, the reality is that most men are completely clueless when it comes to approaching, meeting and picking women up. If you chose to spend just one evening watching men and women interact at a typical bar or nightclub, you would see that the average beautiful woman is approached dozens of times by different guys during the course of an evening, but they all fail. Women know that they have what guys want, but most guys have no idea what they are doing. Smart men who are actually good with women go out and have fun with their friends and let women do the approaching. Meeting women then becomes a side effect of having fun with friends, instead of it being the objective. Seduction is much more effective, easy and effortless when you let women do the choosing, so you can gently lead them to the bedroom.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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