The dating and relationship world is full of truths that are counterintuitive and that don’t make sense to most people. For generations, mothers have taught their daughter’s along with societal conditioning, that men are supposed to chase women and the women are supposed to wait for the man to call. I can just imagine some religious authority busybody who was personally abstaining from intimate relationships with the opposite sex, trying to social engineer how men and women are supposed to interact with one another many centuries ago.
Men and women when it comes to sex and matters of the heart, already come pre-wired and preprogrammed to interact with the opposite sex in a certain way. However, religious dogma, political correctness and out of touch societal conditioning have interfered with the healthy and natural way men and women discover that they like each other in ways that lead to sex. The simple act of a man and a woman deciding to become one in a moment of divine sexual bliss has been perverted into mostly feelings of shame and guilt when it comes to dating, sex and relationships.
People are waking up and throwing off the chains of sexual, emotional, physical, legislative, religious and societal bondage that has inhibited and corrupted the divinely beautiful mating dance of human beings. People are tired of suffering in their lives and going without true happiness and sexual fulfillment in their bedrooms. People are tired of feeling guilty for their desires. People want to be loved and accepted for who they are, not who society thinks they should be.
In one of my favorite movies of all time, “It’s A Wonderful Life,” Donna Reed’s character Mary, resolves to catch George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart, all to herself. She paints a picture for him, gets a special record to play for him and she puts on her best dress and most enchanting perfume. She’s always had a crush on him since she was a little girl. For whatever reason, he simply pushed her buttons and she had her heart set on him. His family and busybody neighbors have conspired to get him to go over to Mary’s house and call on her. George is determined to move to a big city so he can strike it rich. Mary has other plans. She wants George all to herself. Of course George shows up at her house and is taken aback by the stunningly beautiful woman she has grown into. He forgets about his big plans as he looks into her big beautiful eyes. After he protests that he wants nothing to do with her painting or her designs on him, he sweeps her into his arms kissing her passionately.
Women who say they don’t chase guys, find themselves… chasing guys. They can’t help it for some strange reason. Here’s what I know about women. We men may pick the women we like, but it’s really the women who do the choosing. If a woman is confident and she likes you, she will ask for your phone number, she will ask you out on a date, she will call you, she will show up at places she knows you’re going to be, she will conspire with her friends to help her catch you, etc. What I teach guys to do in my book, is get a woman’s phone number and either make a date the moment you meet her, or call her a few days later to make a date. If a guy does everything right on the date and it ends with a nice passionate kiss goodnight, when he calls a few days later to arrange a second date, her interest level is even higher than it was at the end of the first date. Now what usually happens provided the guy continues to do everything right, is that after a few dates, the woman will start calling him just to say hello as her interest level goes up. The more she likes him, the more she wants to see him. If she feels comfortable, she will start to make the days in between each date get closer and closer together, until one day you’re both living under the same roof! Women simply call guys and want to talk more the higher their interest goes. Once that starts to happen, the guy really never has to call or initiate contact anymore. Why? Because when she calls him all the time, it’s easy to arrange the next date when you’re talking on the phone.
I guess in a way you could look at women like baseball catchers. They are always going to put themselves in the best position to catch you, your love, your body and your presence so they can be filled up by your love emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Women will make themselves available to you when they like you, but as the man you must set a definite date with definite plans. Women won’t do everything for you, but if they like you, they will make it really easy for you to be with them. Remember, feminine energy is all about opening up and receiving love. Women must chase! They can’t help it! Even when they say they won’t, they do. If men and women both understand how and why they act and feel the way they do around members of the opposite sex, then they will have the best possible chance to remain objective so they don’t get themselves into relationships that are bad for them or a bad match. It also will keep them from putting themselves into situations where they can be taken advantage of.
The following is an e-mail from a reader. She was taught that women are not supposed to chase men, however, she finds herself agreeing that women actually do chase men. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of her e-mail:
I just watched your video on why women prefer to chase, and I’m confused.
(Awesome! You know what? Being confused means you’re about to learn something!)
I’m not sure I dispute anything you said – at the same time, part of our training as women revolves around the idea that we’re not supposed to reach out to you, but that we are supposed to wait for you to chase us; to include calling/texting us etc.
(Yep, that’s what society teaches little boys and girls how they are supposed to act. Probably a long time ago, some religious authority decided men and women should behave in ways that were counter to their natural instincts. Boys are busy being dangerous and exploring the world. Women, look pretty, alluring and put themselves in places where they know the cute boys they like are going to be in hopes that they can catch their attention and eventually… catch them so they can have them all to themselves. Women put themselves in positions or places so they can create the best possible chance to catch the guy they really want; to receive and be filled up by his love. They will use their charm, body and sex appeal to lure him into her enchanting feminine kingdom.)
Have you read the book “Why Men Marry Bitches?”
(No, but I have heard of it.)
I feel like a lot of what you say runs counter to the instruction in that book.
(I teach what actually works for guys who have never known any real or lasting success with women; or guys who just want improve their skills and get even better than they already are. Sometimes the things I say pisses some people off, but truth can have that effect on people. People like to stay in their comfort zone and continue bullshitting themselves and making excuses for why their lives are not what they know they could be. I walk the talk and only teach what I have first discovered works in my own life. That’s why I can afford to give my best stuff away for free. People apply it, then come back for more. They can reward me based upon how well it works for them via the PayPal donate buttons. If they need my personal help, they can book a phone coaching session with me by CLICKING HERE.)
I know… I’m a chick, so I’m probably not supposed to be listening to the advice you give men – nevertheless,
(Same principles apply. Men and women respond emotionally to what they respond to based upon how God designed them to be. Once you understand that baseline knowledge, men and women both become totally predictable. My girlfriends and clients all feel like I can read their minds at times),
based on reverse engineering of some things you mentioned, I found myself writing off a guy tonight who initially made me feel comfortable, but then didn’t take the opportunity to make dates with me when I made it easy for him.
(That is why a lot of women read my book. It simply… works. It will help you understand how and why you act or behave in certain ways with certain men. That way, you can catch yourself from getting involved with a guy who pushes your buttons emotionally, but deep down you know he is bad for you. Whereas before, you may have gotten carried away on your emotions while ignoring all the red flags. It keeps you from being blinded by your own emotions because you now know what to look for in a good match for you. Plus it will teach you the most effective relationship communication skills on the planet! You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE.)
Perhaps you should also consider coaching women, if you don’t already. (I do all the time. About 10% of my clients are women. CLICK HERE to sign up for a phone coaching session with me personally.)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Those who lack the courage will always find a philosophy to justify it.” – Albert Camus